Bye Year

Well, I don't know about you, but for me this year went way too fast. Most everything seems to have blurred together up until the time Mom was diagnosed with cancer. I do remember having rotator cuff repair surgery and spending lots of time in physical therapy. Then, time was spent with almost losing Mom, to not losing Mom, to staying with Mom, to going back and forth to doctors. Everything was just very confusing.

But the year is winding down and things seem to be not such a mish-mash of horribleness. There are some things that became clear.

1. God kept his hand on Mom through this entire experience. Sometimes Mom and I talk and are in awe in the way God directed and helped Mom. Of course, it would seem better, if none of this had ever happened. But it has. And in the experience we see God was involved in even the small things and has seen to it that Mom received excellent care.

2. I couldn't have made it through this experience without my sister, Phyllis. Phyllis and Jim usually head south before "real" winter arrives and stay there til spring. This year they stayed here to be with Mom. Just the running to doctor appointments and tests would have killed me. They did most of the running. Which means they were with Mom when she received a lot of the bad news and I got it second hand.

3. I have always known my Mom was a really awesome woman. I have come to appreciate that even more this past year. She is stubborn and until she is sure about something she will not proceed. Sometimes that just about frustrated us to death, since we were so certain as to what she should do. In retrospect, in some cases you need to not get in such a hurry. Mom's cancer is not the kind that quickly spreads (not yet, anyway) and so not getting in a hurry was a good thing. My mother's incredible strength of spirit and determination is not defeated nor is her need to be independent.

4. Surgery is not always the best solution for breast cancer. Wow! I sure came full circle on that one. I really thought this was the ONLY answer. Turns out, for women my Mom's age, it isn't. Although we had a date set for surgery, Mom was never comfortable with the idea of having it. Now surgery has been put on hold until spring. I am not sure that she will choose to have the surgery at that time. What she chooses will be the best choice for her and we will support that choice.

5. Little things become more important when you have no guarantees. We lost track of the big stuff this year because we were kept so busy doing the everyday stuff. In the days, spending time with Mom, helping with her with the little things that were important to her, became top prioritiy. Ultimately, things don't really count. The people do.

6. Christmas without a lot of fuss is lots of fun. We just threw out all the stressful activities and did the essential. Shopping didn't happen and that was a blessing in itself. No purchases were made we could not afford. But when we came together at Christmas, we laughed and just loved the joy of being together. It was great to have Phyllis and James here; the first time in 10 years. This Christmas with Mom will always be one I will hold close to my heart because it was such a very special time. There was nothing unique; there were no big gifts; it was just a time of being together and loving one another. Like I said, it was very special.

7. I had to say goodbye to some very special family members. My cousin Gerri died unexpectly. It was sad to know I would not be seeing here again this side of heaven; and a favored Aunt also died at the age of 96. Aunt Hazel was a unique lady with a great sense of humor who loved to fish. She had moved to Florida and due to poor health we had not seen her in a very long time. It will be good to join her again someday in the future.



And, oh yeah! We got a dog. That was pretty cool. She is a border collie/hound mix. She has boundless energy and could play ball 24 hrs a day. She is an uncalculated miracle and brings much laughter into this house. Her name is Sweet Pea, which came with her and we just didn't feel like we needed to change it to some other ordinary thing.

So goodbye, 2006. You tried to beat us up, but in the end, faith in God, love of family held us together and we are all here ready for whatever 2007 holds. So bring it on 2007. We can take whatever you dish out and meet each day head on.

And that's that.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Christmas With Mom

Well it's been about 3 months since I added a post here. Sorry about that. Things got a little busy and I tried to keep family updated with emails. In the meantime, we appreciate your prayers. God has been faithful... and, well, here's the latest.

Immediately after Thanksgivings we all got sick. Mom wound up in the hospital with pneumonia. After nearly a week she got to come home to us. She is doing better now and regaining her strength. We are thankful that God was with us. Things could have turned out much differently.

Her surgery, which had been scheduled, has been postponed. Her medical team will be re-evaluating her in March and she can make any decision she needs to make at that time. They cancer is not spreading; and they are keeping a close eye on this with C-scans and such. I find myself no longer "rooting" for her to have surgery. The doctor says there are no guarantees that surgery will prolong her life nor will it add to the quality of life she has remaining. So, we will see what happens in March.

James and Phyllis may head for Florida in January. But for now, it has been more than a blessing having them here. They have been awesome and without them I can't imagine the last few months.

We had an awesome Christmas. We (Vonnie's boys; Marty and his wife Debbie and Wendell), Phyllis & James and me and Jamelah. We had a great dinner, a lot of laughs and it was great just gathering together. You can visit the pictures I took (with the camera Jamelah gave me for Christmas).

pictures here

Mom Update: September 19

Mom had her appointment with her oncologist last Friday (Sept 15). A brief summary is as follows:

1. Mom's surgery could be scheduled any time now. She is doing very well and it doesn't appear that they need to wait much longer. (Mom wants to feel that she has regained enough of her strength that she will not contiue to have dizzy spells which she has once in a while).

2. Her platelet count was 134. This is very good. They usually want it to be 140+/- before doing surgery. She will have her blood checked again in 2 weeks. The doctor cut her predizone back to 1/2 of her current dose. She now takes 1/2 pill every other day. So she is slowly being weaned from this medication.

CT Scan: Mom's nuerologist wanted a CT scan of her head and neck area. He felt that her symptoms indicated that she could have some blockage there. This would explain the dizzy spells. She had the CT scan yesterday and the results will be back next Monday. If there is blockage, they will have to go in and clear it out.

Aside from that, Mom seems to be doing very well. She went grocery shopping again on Saturday and out to lunch with Jamelah and me after church on Sunday. She thought she might try going to church this Sunday if she was having a good day. I was glad she went with us it was a beautiful day. Touches of fall everywhere and hard to believe that that time of year is here. Mom gets to go out, so it wasn't like she had been cooped up in the house forever, but this time it was all for fun... no needle pokes and no doctors examining her. We had a good time.

Mom has 2 more appointments with doctors this week. I am trying to keep up with this every week so you will know the latest. Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks again for your prayers and support. There is no question about it. God has been with us through this time.

Sorry, Just Real People Here!

Just in case this is your first time to read this blog thing, I work as a church secretary. Which is way cool. Our church is anything but typical and this job, like any job, comes with its frustrations. Here lately I have been amazed at the number of people who call and ask for the Pastor and when I explain that he is unavailable, instruct me to give them his "voice mail."

OK... sure, uh, how do I explain this. We don't have that type phone service here at church. It would be nice, but then again maybe not. I then have to explain to them, that I AM Pastor's voice mail and you are more than welcome to leave a message with me and I'll see that he gets it. This seems to leave some people just a little perplexed. "What? I have to talk to a person. Well, I'm used to machines."

At that point I figure, smiling to myself, I can tell them to call right back and I won't answer the phone and will let the "answering machine" pick it up. Which is really a joke, because during my scheduled hours the answering machine is not turned on. Why? Because, I'm expected to answer the phone. And when messages get left on the "machine" who clears it? Oh, that would be me.

Of course, it would be kinda fun to create a fake voice mail message and say "just one moment, please" then wait a second and go into some spiel and wait for them to leave their name and number and write it down on the message pad to pass on to Pastor. I'd mess it up, of course, by saying something absurd after they had finished like "thanks for calling. I'm sure Pastor will be sorry he missed you."

Yep, we're totally not high teck here at our church, at least phone wise. So for the time being I'm going to be the answering device whenever anyone calls. Wait, I have to answer the phone. I wonder if it's for Pastor. I hope not. He's out of the building. Ho Hum!

Mom Update: September 9

It's been a quiet week in Mom's life this week. Only one trip to a doctor's office. Can you imagine? Seems strange with how busy they have kept her the last few months.

This week she went to a nuerologist to have her leg checked to see why she had a problem with it before her surgery. The doctor checked her carefully and agreed with Mom's thoughts that she probably had a slight stroke. So, more tests ahead. They will do a CT on her head and neck area to determine if there are any blood clots. The doctor thinks from the way Mom responded to tests in his office that she may have one in her neck. This will also let him know if she has had a stroke. The CT scan will be this week. But things, doctor wise, are pretty quiet for Mom. Just check-ups and getting stronger every day.

She is feeling more like herself and becoming more independent. She went to the grocery store today, the first real outing she has had in months. She seemed to just enjoy being out and doing regular stuff.

Jamelah is off to Grand Rapids tomorrow for a special bead show (she makes jewelry) and is looking to buy some supplies. She does her first craft show in a couple weeks. This is all exciting. But I had told Mom I figured we could hang out some since the kid would be gone and I'd come up and have lunch with her (I had thought I might get her to go out, maybe?} But, she surprised me by saying she had bought something and was planning to cook lunch for me and have it ready when I got out of church. Well! What do you know about that? I was surprised about some of the groceries she was buying. She has no appetite and has lost weight. Her visiting nurse told her the medication she was on would effect her appetite, but she knows she needs to eat more. Hopefully, making and having someone with her for lunch will help her feel more like eating. She'll have left overs too, I'm sure.

Well, Phyllis and James finally got in some shuffleboard and even won a prize. This is the first chance they have had to play. Everything seems a little more normal and we are thankful for the good medical care Mom has gotten and the assurance we have that God is looking after her.

Mom still feels a little house bound and was really excited by a letter and picture of her sister in California. She enjoys hearing from you all. Thanks for being with her as she goes through this difficult time.

Oh, What a Day!

I had no clue when I crawled out of bed this morning with a bale of cotton in my mouth what an interesting day I was about to jump into.

Warned by the nurse at the doctor's office that I am not to eat or drink after midnight and then head straight to the clinic for some blood work, I tried to ignore the bale of cotton syndrome and headed for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth an extra long time trying to get the saliva to reach the back of my parched throat without much luck. I gargled with warm water and tried not to swallow any thinking this would take care of the problem. It did - for exactly 5 seconds.

I gave up and got dressed so I could be the first person down to the clinic and head for some serious liquid imbidationing. Ready a bit early I decided to check my email and goof off with things that would keep my brain occupied so I wouldn't think about wanting a drink of water or a can of Diet Coke to sting away the dryness in my throat.

My daughter had gone back to our fenced in back yard with our precious dog Sweet Pea (Who we try really hard to keep in the yard which is not an altogether easy thing. It means you have to stand next to the weak spot in the fence so she can't get under it and start wandering around the neighbors yard). We've got curtaining Sweet Pea's desire to wander down to a fine art and she hasn't escaped in ages. So I was quite surprised when I stepped out the back door hurrying to the clinic to be sure to be first in line, to see our darling girl standing at the bottom of the slight hill that is beside our back door. I call her and offer her a treat. She looks at me like I have to make her a better offer. I glance over into the back yard to see my daughter standing in the middle of the yard with a really befuddled look on her face. "She's over here!" I expalin. She then looks at me like I must be daft and continues looking around the yard for the missing dog.

I return to the kitchen to get a treat for the dog. Come back out and try to entice her my way. That's when I realize that poor Sweet Pea seems to have hurt her front leg since she is walking really funny, hobbling around on 3 legs. I call her again. She turns and looks at me again and I hold out the truly delectable treats for her to see. But there are way too many much more interesting things in the neighbor's yard to investigate. Now this incline between the two yards is really steep and there's no way I'm going to try going down it with my bad knees. I'd have to get down on my butt and scoot and once down I'd never be able to get back up.

But Jamelah has arrived on the scene now wondering how the dog got out. She couldn't have gotten our her regular way. I pointed to the gap under the gate. We've been wondering how long it would be before she tried it, well, we now have the answer to that question. We return to trying to get our girl to climb up the hill to us. She continues to ignore us. That's when we realize that her foot, evidently in crawling under the gate, is caught in the the training collar around her neck and she can't get it back out. Lucky break for us. On three legs she isn't going far.

Jamelah takes the plunge down the incline and Sweet Pea hobbles over for her treat and is rescued from her 3 legged problem. They start around the neighbor's yard instead of climbing back up to our door. I'm thinking my chance of being first is screwed.

I'm right. I'm thrid. Which still isn't too bad. I wo't go into the details of the rest of my morning, but the step out the door was just a foretaste. My stop to pick up mail at the post office was derailed leaving me to arrive at work late. Once there things continued being just a little off kilter all day long. But soon my 4 hour day ended and I headed home.

I decided, since we had a weak spot at the rear of the yard and a weak spot at the front of the yard and since I have no magic powers and can only be in one place at a time, to wait for my daughter to get home before letting Sweet Pea out. Once Jamelah was home, we THOUGHT it would be a good idea to let our dog out right away. She would be about to burst with needing to go pee. So, out to the yard we went. I stationed myself at the gap under the gate and Jamelah walked the dog to the weak spot at the rear of the yard before letting her off her leash. We were right about her fairly bursting; to get back out of the yard, that is. She made a beeline straight for me, but I was ready. But not ready enough. Because she hadn't gone under the gate, she had gone under the fence at an entirely different place and I wasn't standing there... and in a second, despite my loud, "NO!, NO!, NO!" she was gone again. This time unhindered by a foot being caught in her collar. She was soon soon out of sight.

We quickly got in the car and took off after her and caught her across the street. She quickly jumped into the car for her treat and we came back home. We still have to get the dog into the back yard to do "her business" but this time we know where she went out. So, Jamelah decided to stand at the front of the yard at the vulnerable place and I walked the dog to the back and let her off leash again; and off she went like a bat out of hell. To our chagrin she was quicker than us and she was under the fence and gone again. We jumped into the car and around the neighborhood we went. But she managed to evade us. She managed, in fact, to evade us for a long time. We thought we could hear her bark. We checked to only find a different dog in their yard barking. We began to pray to find her because we are now worried about how far astray she has gone. We hear a famliar bark closer to home, we investigate, but again it is the wrong dog. We hear another bark and head towards it and find our beloved Sweet Pea standing in our front yard with a quizzical look on her face as if asking "Where have you been?".

Into the car she bounded and this time we headed to Tractor Supply. We got a long tether, a stake and a harness. Sweet Pea's days of running amok in the back yard have come to an end. My brother in law came over and pounded the stake down good and secure. We tethered her up and she took off full tilt for the fence when she was rudely yanked back when she reached the end of the line. She was totally amazed.

The next 3 times "out" she spent most of the time crying and whining and we did a lot of crying with her, but finally she seems to have noW gotten the hang of it and has adjusted to the space the tether lets her go.

Jamelah is signing up for obedience classes for the fall and we are hoping by teaching her "come" and "stay" the tether will no longer be necessary. Truthfully, tieing her up was harder on us than on her. But, that's it for now. I guess we need the Dog Wrisperer to come visit us for a bit so we can teach our dog that she can't go beyond the fence.

Happy Labor day!

It is difficult for me to imagine that we are in September and that this is Labor Day Weekend. But, no matter how difficult it is for me to imagine it; the trees are dropping leaves, the air feels strangely like fall and I have to take a deep breath and face the fact that I will soon be dragging out my winter coat and getting up early enough to scrape ice off my windshield.

But, here in our country this is a big weekend for bar-b-queing and enjoying the last long weekend of summer. I hadn't thought about the neighborhood air filling up with the aroma of grilling meat until I hit the grocery store this morning and saw a dude putting a rack of ribs in his cart that filled the whole bottom of the thing up and then proceeded to pile in packages of hamburger meat and then head on to the brats. Guess they were going to have one heck of a party.

Me, I was there to buy orange juice. The kid and I are both down with some kind of bug. I got hit first and quite stupidly didn't realize that the reason I felt so punk was because I was sick. My daughter told me I should not be going around Mom and exposing her to whatever it was that I had. I thought about it and finally called Phyllis. I filled like a smuck begging off from spending the night with Mom, but the truth is, I realized it was probably for the best. Phyllis agreed and so Mom spent that night with Phyllis. It wasn't like I was going to get over a "cold" in one night, however. I did go to work the rest of the week but ran a fever and mostly tried not to lay my head down on my desk and go to sleep. Mom spent the nights with Phyllis

I figured by the time the weekend got around I'd be pretty much recovered. Saturday morning I went over to my sister's house, fully intending to pick up Mom and give her a ride home, while Phyllis finished up doing "hair" for Saturday. I was there about 30 minutes when I realized that what I really wanted to do was go somewhere and just lie down. So, I left. Went home, hit my recliner and slept most of the day away. Well, today I feel better but am glad I have a long weekend to recover in. Jamelah started in feeling sick on Friday so we are mopping around the house doing the "getting plenty of rest" and watching videos. Ahh... Happy Labor Day!

On a happy note. Mom is getting stronger every day. She enjoys her independence and has decided that there is no reason why she needs someone to spend the nights with her anymore. She talked it over with her nurse and was told she should be fine. So, last night, Mom spent her first night alone. She did well, and is feeling good about it. Counting the days until the surgery. Glad she doesn't have to go to some doctor appointment every day.

So, it is a Happy day. A happy Labor Day!

Mom Update: August 30

Well, yesterday was Mom's appointment with Dr. Shen the oncologist (cancer) and hematologist (blood). After we left Mom said she thought God must be helping her out.

Here's why.

The large hematoma (blood clot) which is in Mom's breast from the biopsy is very hard and large (about the size of an orange). They had discussed with Mom that they would need to remove this clot and would do so at the time they removed any more of her breast that was still affected and check and remove the lympf nodes as needed. Dr. Shen says the clot is too large and hard and this makes surgery impossible at this time. He believes the clot will soften in time and reduce in size. He expects that this will take about 3 months. By that time they will be able to do the surgery safely. He says making a statement of whether or not a total or partial mastectomy will need to be performed is not wise at this time.

He put her on a drug called tomoxafen (probably not spelled right) which is a cancer drug. This will prevent the cancer from spreading from where it is now. He will keep a close check on Mom during this waiting time with blood work and what ever else may be needed.

He empahsized that the cancer was only one problem discovered during the last couple months. That other medical issues were being dealt with and that the discovery that she had a heart problem was HUGE. This problem would probably have been the medical problem that would have ended her life had it not been discovered. Now with the pacemaker that issue has been dealt with.

The other medical problem is her blood problem. Her platelet count was 117 when last checked. This shows that she is doing well on the medication and he will continue at the current dosage (every other day) until he sees how her body reacts to the tomoxafen. If all goes well and her platelet count continues to rise, he will again begin decreasing her dosage.

So, it was a day of good news. Mom came home smiling and feeling that things were getting better. This gives us an expectation that the surgery (which ever one) will be done aboout December 1.

In the meantime, we wait. And as we wait, Mom will continue to get stronger. I really do believe that she will defeat this cancer with the great care that she is being given and she will "die peacefully in her sleep" at some future date, as she has predicted.

On another front. Mom had a great birthday. Thank you for all your cards and calls. She was busy all day chatting with family and friends. She is still a bit nauseaus when trying to eat solid food, so we made a big pot of soup and Phyllis brought over her famous pineapple (not banana) pudding. We had a good time and Mom opened her gifts. So, thank you for making it a great day.

Sorry, Jamelah forgot to take her camera with her so I didn't get a picture to post for you, but will post one later.

Mom Update: August 26

Well, Monday is Mom's 92nd birthday. We have asked her how she would like to celebrate and she always comes up with a non answer response. (I'll see if I can get jamelah to sneak a picture of her and will post here after her birthday.) Solid food makes her sick, so she isn't looking forward to a birthday dinner. She eats soup. So I'm going to make her a pot of soup and some cornbread and let her eat until she feels she will explode. That won't be much. She has little appetite has lost 5 pounds. The doctors are telling her she has to gain it back. She is to begin drinking Ensure for breakfast. She has enjoyed her tomaotes, however. And they are awesome this year. She only planted 5 plants and they are producing enough to open a hi-way stand.

Now, for the doctor news. She had her staples removed from the incision from where she had her pacemacker put in and an appointment with the radiologist (Dr. Mudge) on Friday. So, she was on the go all day. Everything was well when they checked her at the heart doctor's. She does not go back there until a regular check up on her pacemaker, but she does have an upcoming appointment in September with the doctor. The Radiologist spent a great deal of time with her on Friday. He wanted to make sure she understood all that could be happening to her. He is the doctor that James (Phyllis's husband had when he was diagonosed with throat cancer).

Simply put, the CT scan which was run on Tuesday shows that the cancer is not spreading. They are confident now that a radical mastectomy will not be necessary. They reccommend that Mom have the partial done (this will remove the bloodclot from the biopsy, any affected tissue and check the lymph nodes and remove as needed. This would be followed up with 33 radiation treatments (5 times a week... not on weekends nor on holidays). This would get any cancer tissue that might have been missed in the surgery because it was not visible or that had started to grow since. The doctor's are concerned that since Mom has problems bleeding that a radical mastectomy would be too traumatic for her. However, the decision will be hers to make. Also, should she opt for the complete mastectomy, healing would take a very long time and any additional treatments that would be necessary would have to be chemo. This is due to the length of healing and for other reasons... which I didn't get exactly straight or understand completely.

Anyway, she seems to be accepting the idea of a partial operation now instead of pushing for the radical mastectomy. This is due to the positive report she received from the CT scan which showed that the tumors were not spreading.

Her next major appointment will be on Tuesday and I will update you as soon as I can after we get the report from Dr. Shen. He will be determining when Mom may be ready for surgery. Her platelet count was 105 the last time checked. It will be checked again next week.

But, she has a free day on Monday. That is her brithday, so if you have her phone number, give her a call and wish her Happy Birthday. She has taken all the cards (thank you so much)and layed them out like a quilt on her dining room table. They are beautiful and she is really enjoying hearing from everyone. Email me if you want to contact her and have lost her contact information at afearle@yahoo.com.

Bless you... and keep praying. God is on our side and listening. I am sure of that.

Pray for Phyllis and James too. They have been doing the carrying back and forth of Mom for her appointments and sometimes that's a really hectic schedule.

Mom Update: August 21

Mom's tests last week were encouraging but we did discover after she wore a heart monitor for 24 hours that she would need a pace maker. She is a very high risk patient. She was admitted to Bronson Hospital in Kalamazoo last Thursday and the pacemaker was installed with no problems. She remained there overnight and came home Friday evening.

She was feeling tired, but pretty good. It is a new incision for her to worry about and to heal, but she was feeling better on Sunday and seemed to be enjoying her day.

Today she had multiple blood tests run again. She also had appointments with her surgeon and her family doctor. They both said she was doing very well. Dr. Warnsby (the surgeon) discussed Mom's upcoming surgery and stated that she would need to go in to remove a very large blood clot from her breast which formed from the biopsy and all the bleeding. At that time she would also remove the remaining effected areas as needed. If things went well it would NOT be necessary for her to have a mastectomy after all.

Mom is a little upset about this news. She would rather they just go in and do the mastectomy, if it would guarantee that she would not need to have an additional surgery. She says they have already done one surgery on her breast now they want to do 2 more. She feels like this is just an indication that they are really unsure of themselves. I think she has lost confidence in her surgeon. She just wants to have it over with.

She has a CT scan tomorrow which will tell them more about whether or not the cancer has progressed beyond where it was at the time of surgery. Then she meets on Friday with a radiation specialist. He will give his opinion as to whether or not she is a candidate for radiation therapy as opposed to the meastectomy.

She meets with Dr. Shen (the blood specialist/cancer doctor) next Tuesday. Ultimaltely he is the doctor who makes the decisions as to what is the best way to proceed. I will let you know his opinion once we have it.

She has an appointment with a nuerologist regarding the numbness in her right knee and leg. Until he approves she will be unable to drive. Not that she is planning on taking any road trips in the meantime.

Keep Mom in your thoughts and prayers. Give her a call or send a card. She has really been blessed by all those who have contacted her. It really does make a difference.

Thanks for everything.

Mom

My mother is indestructable. I have always known this. She turns 92 on August 28th and her years have been filled with busy activities. Her favorite is working in her yard. She has always been very proud of her flowers and spent much time each year planting her annuals in and around the perenials. Something was in bloom all from spring until fall. She was very proud of her yard and it was always beautiful. She adorned her front and back patio with hanging baskets. We always bought one for her for Mother's day and so did the other siblings. Along with the ones we got, she planted others she saved from year to year, with petunias. So she had a veritable blooming garden hanging from her porch and spilling out of the flower box under her kitchen window.

Mom began complaining about problems with her arm and left breast one winter while she was working on a quilt she was making for my daughter, Jamelah. She breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally finished, and figured the soreness would go away. It did not. She had trouble and complained and the doctor sent her off for a mamogram. The test showed everything was fine and Mom was told again that she was in great shape for her age and should take it easy and try not doing so much. So, we let it go at that.

As the year went on, Mom complained of easy fatigue, of sleeping afternoons and not "feeling like anything." Her breast still bothered her and she began wanting to have it looked at again. On a routine visit to her doctor he examined her breast; although he felt the lump there, he felt since the mamogram showed no irregularity, that she need not worry. But just to be safe as soon as a year had passed, she would go in for a 2nd mamogram. She did.

This was the beginning of out nightmare. The technician was concerned because this time the test showed there was definitely a mass in her breast. She would be scheduled for biopsy immediately. They tried to do a "needle biopsy" which doesn't amount to much, but were unsuccessful in doing this procedure. She was immediately scheduled with a surgeon to have the old time biopsy done. During her pre-op testing they found her blood platelet level to be very low. They were going to have to give her a transfusion of platelets prior to the biopsy. It wasn't going to amount to much, we were told. She was admitted to out-patient surgery bright and early so the platelets could be infused. Well, nothing runs easily and I won't go into the details. So to speed it up, the pint of platelets did not do the job and late that night the surgeon said they would keep Mom overnight and begin bright and early the next day. More platelets were ordered for her (they don't keep them in stock, I guess). So the next morning Mom got her 2nd transfusion. A check showed her blood still low. She got another pint. Her blood count was now high enough, and although the day was late that night she was wheeled into surgery.

Phyllis, my sister and I sat and waited. Phyllis had been with Mom all day. I had come in after I got out of work at 1pm. We were both tired but feeling relief that Mom was finally in good hands and getting this taken care of. I was determined that all would come out with positive reports. 91 year old women don't get cancer. If they were going to get it... they would have years ago. I lost my sister, Vonnie, to cancer when she was just in her 40's, so the thought that Mom might be diagnosed with this disease at her age was an impossibility to me.

The doctor came out and said everything had gone well. Mom had quite a bit of bleeding due to her low platelet count, so she was unable to remove the entire mass, but had removed what she could. It would be sent off for analysis and we would have the report in a couple days. She said Mom had done fine and would be sleeping soundly and advised we go home and do the same... so, we did.

The next day early, Phyllis called me from the hospital. Mom was not doing all that well. She had lost a lot of blood and her blood count way exceptinally low (7, 14 is good, 12 is acceptable). She would have to have a transfusion. Her heart rate had slowed during the night to almost nothing. She had been transferred to the Intensive Care Unit. She was resting and her heart rate had leveled off. They felt she would be fine as soon as they could get some blood into her.

The blood from the transfusion seemed to dissapate into thin air (actually under her skin, since she was still bleeding), but finally after 3 pints of blood, she was pronouced good enough to go home. Her out-patient visit had extended to 5 days. She would not be able to stay alone: Her diagnosis was cancer. She would have to have a radical mastectomy as soon as her body could tolerate it.

My sister and I switched off with her staying days and me staying nights. My brother had already planned a visit (Family Reunion time) and arrived. So James and Martha stayed with Mom and took great care of her during their vacation. By the end of this time she had gained some strength and was taking short walks around the house.

Family Reunion week Royce and Bonnie (my older brother) came for the weekend. His family also arrived, his sons Royce and Greg with their families. So Mom's house was filled with family. Her sister Josie from Tennessee also came in to visit. They were in Lansing for a funeral. So we got to see Aunt Josie and cousins Angie and Arvemia. It was a fun week with people coming and going but all too soon everyone headed home and Phyllis and I were once again staying with Mom.

Mom is now stronger. She likes staying by herself some during the day and having a sense of independence that she is still able to take care of herself. She still needs someone to stay during the night. Phyllis is still doing the daytrime drill and I come over in the evenings to help with supper... and then spend the night.

We have learned this past week that Mom is a high risk patient because her heart sometime slows down and almost quits beating. She is being sheduled for a pacemaker and they are thinking that will take place Thursday, maybe. We go see the doctor this afternoon.

So, this is how it is right now this morning. Will keep you updated. Bookmark the page so you can check in. I'll keep you posted on future information given us by the doctors, test results and procedures that are taking place.

Keep Mom in your prayers. She has a long way to go.

Cathcing Up

I knew it had been forever since I had posted on this blog. I tried to feel ashamed, but I just didn't have the incentive even for that, nor the time. I'm just going to try to bring you up-to-date, sort of. Hopefully, in the organized way I do things... but hopefully also, not too boring. If it is, just skip this post.

Oct 4, 2005: I had knee replacement surgery. I totally ignored the computer world for a while, but I actually did post something, sometime around then I think. Anyway, that was last year, and now I have a really neat scar on my right knee, and it still bothers me some, but otherwise, it was worth it and it's over.

We did Thanksgivings and Christmas. They were quiet but nice. I can't think of anything that stands out in my memory regarding them... so I guess they were also boring. But quiet and nice seemed pretty good at that time, actually.

Winter was not a bad thing this year. We didn't get buried in snow even one time. I had to pay someone to come shovel us out once. So I thought that was a good winter. But I'm not a farmer who depends on the moisture from the snow to bring good spring crops. It didn't even get cold this winter and stay there. Again, this is not a good thing for farmers (i guess the ground didn't even freeze good, and not being agriculturally minded I don't understand this... but a good freeze is needed to help the land lay dormant). So we breezed through winter and soon it was spring. Spring was early and farmers were out cultivating their fields and soon everything was up and growing. The old statement about the corn being "knee high by the 4th of July" was irrelevant. In some places the corn was tasseling out by mid-July and by the 4th it was head high.

Before I had my knee surgery I had started having trouble with my left arm. I complained to my doctor at a regular checkup, midwinter and he sent me off to physical therapy. This was silly. I had just finished about 8 weeks therapy for my knee.

But, I was back again. The therapist who did my analysis, felt I had some type problem with my shoulder and that the problem was not arthritis. He contacted my doctor and requested x-rays be made. The x-rays showed I had spurs in the area causing the pain. My therapist worked with me for 6 weeks, while the use of my arm decreased. He sent me off to my bone guy who had done my knee. A CAT-scan revealed my rotator cuff was damaged by the spur. So, this had to be repaired. Well we're into spring and almost summer. Not being a sports addict, I did not know this was an injury usually had by ball players so I endured a lot of jokes about hurrying to get the job done so I wouldn't "be out all season." I was hoping to postpone the whole thing until September when I turn 65 and go on medicare. Less money out of my pocket. The doctor suggested I not wait. As I continued to use the arm, I would probably injure it further and as it currently stood, it could be repaired. SO, I listened to him and we scheduled the surgery.

Let me just say, just because an operation is done on an out-patient basis does not mean it is minor surgery! Turns out recovery for this surgery is longer and more difficult than the knee surgery. I was able to return to work in a sling in 2 weeks, so I thought it was going to be no big thing. Well, it is a BIG thing. If you know someone who has to have this done, be generous in your sympathy. They deserve it.

They began me on physical therapy almost immediately. My daughter and my sister went along, because I was not allowed to move my shoulder myself. They were taught how to "manipulate" it so it could be moved each day in a non-harmful manner. This would decrease the possibility of adhesions growing, which would take me to another surgery, to have them broken free. So... needless to say, I am well known at physical therapy but finally got to tell them goodbye (I hope not so long). I am finally on my own. Which is good, but I still have a 30 minute regiment I must do every day to keep the arm from freezing up on me and to regain full use of it... so far I have a ways to go. I will do this. Somehow.

So, I just haven't been doing a lot of typing, hence no posting has taken place. And with my mom's illness (next post) I doubt that I'll have a lot of time. But I do want to use this space as a means to keep the family updated on her progress.

So, that said... I think I better write the next post

Summer Flight

This morning as I was climbing into my car a yellow and white moth flew by. I was suddenly a little kid again, lying on my back contemplating yellow moths, or staring at cartoon shapes in the clouds floating by overhead. Summers of my youth were long, days stretching on endlessly, seemingly filled with boredom for lack of something "exciting" to happen. It seemed it would be forever until school started back up again and I would have "something to do."

I just want to go back to that time. The time when days stand still, heat sears your head, walks to the lake to swim fill an afternoon, and there is endless hours to gaze at butterflies, watch a praying mantis, or marvel at the green slime in your palm from the grasshopper you were just holding and tossed back into the lawn with a profound exclamation of "eueeegh!!!" I want to watch the yellow moth in flight to see where it flitters to. I want to be amazed by the moon at night and lay on my back and stare up at the big dipper while I get vertigo and think I will surely float away from the earth and be lost in endless space.

It was good for just a moment this morning to be a kid again. To watch the moth float away, oblivious of me climbing into my car to head off to my day. I loved that pause in reality. It is sad that the only thing that has flown this season was summer itself and I can't really figure out when summer took flight.

What? Again!

Yes! Again. I had to have surgery again! I'm beginning to feel like everytime I walk into a doctor's office they start looking for some area of my body they haven't cut on yet... and then decide exactly what they can do there.

It seems that what I thought was just old age and arthritis prohibiting the use of my left arm was actually a torn rotator cuff. So after physical therapy did nothing to improve my gimpy arm they ran me through a MRI and decided I needed surgery. Three weeks ago they did the evil deed. Now I'm wearing a sling for another week and back doing therapy on a arm that I am not allowed to move.

Hopefully, when this thing heals up I'll get a break and not need anymore cutting done on me for a while. Haven't done much on the "net" since typing is pretty much one-handed for now. So, it was a shame to be off work, doped up on vicadan and not be able to make asinine blog posts about the world in general. I guess you were saved from that.

Back to work now, and the arm is coming along just fine although I still get to use pain killers for a while yet. So, soon maybe I can come up with some profound insights which I discovered during my recovery period that I'll be able to share with the whole world.

Until then, this will have to do.

and then there were three

We said goodbye to our old friend Teddy, a poodle-cocker mix. He had brought us a lot of laughter, love, and frustration at times... indeed, he was all dog. We missed him but I was determined there would not be another dog taking up residence in our house, but it's been a while and my daughter really missed having a pet.

We began, half-heartedly on my part, looking at dogs again. About 2 weeks ago we learned of a shelter in Battle Creek from a friend so for a Saturday something to do we went for a visit. My daughter immediately bonded with a dog and after coming home and talking it over we decided we'd adopt the dog.

Her name is Sweet Pea (yeah, the first thing we were going to do was change her name) but it's been a week and Sweet Pea just seams to be who she is. We call her Sweetie... and sometimes I hear my daughter call her "Miss Thang" because she is definitely all attitude. Truth is, we love her already.

She is a hound/border collie mutt. She is called "medium" size and weighs in at about 42 pounds. She is very intelligent and a quick learner. She is never still and bounds with great enthusiasm. She is all muscle and runs full hilt. She is beautiful. Here is a picture of her sitting still. Rare moment.




So, our family has grown. We're all about it now there are 3 of us.

Coats and Mortorcycles

Yesterday broke hazey with a forecast for a gray day but the sun seemed to be determined to shine. My "To Do List" had real fun stuff on it; do the laundry, file my taxes, go to the credit union, grocery shop. I was totally into having a great day! Well, not really.

I started off by hauling a ton of laundry to the basement, sorting them and simply getting on with it. Having the first item on my list well on its way to accomplishment, I fixed a quickie breakfast (toast, yogurt and coffee) checked my email and then tackled the most dreaded item on the list. The filing of the taxes. Last year being the first of my retirement I had decided to use a "professional" instead of doing them myself, as usual. I wound up using 2 "experts" to make sure I got it corretly and legally filed. The first guy got me back a ton of money, which was the flag that told me something was not right. I reviewed it before mailing and when I looked at some of the boxes knew immediately that the thing was making me commit some serious tax evasion practices. I heaved a sigh and took the entire bundle off to H&R Block. Well, that all turned out OK, however they seemed more interested in how the other guy (whose name I didn't give them) had tried to mess with the system (in several places) so he could get me a big number on the bottom line.

But I digress, that was last year and this is this year. So, back to my old mind set of "I can do this myself" (I've filed my own taxes forever and even did them for other people for a few years). I visited my old web source and signed in easily, after requesting my user name and password, which I had forgotten, of course. I was easing my way right through it when I hit a snag. Evidenly I had saved the wrong Social Security document and no matter how many times I searched through my messy organized file of important papers... it was not to be found. I decided I could probably find the information "on line" but the social security site nearly drove me bonkers and I soon knew I had to give up on it. I tried to sign on for an additional "update" that could download the information directly... but they didn't list Social Security as being a site to which they had access. Alas, I had to give up the task with my taxes just minutes from completion. I felt frustrated (politacally correct way of saying "very angry") at being unable to complete the job. This means I will have to call the Social Security office come Monday. Now there is something to look forward to. The amount of time you spend on hold waiting to talk to a live body can stretch on forever.

Whatever! I checked the clock. My first load of clothes should be coming out of the dryer. I waited for the familiar sound of the buzzer. No buzz. We were wanting to get to the credit union and I wanted my nicely dried clothes put away first so I wouldn't have to iron later on. I waited and finally made a trip to the basement to discover that although my dryer had been drying my clothes way beyond the needed time, no drying had taken place. The clothes were cold. The clothes were wet. Something was wrong! Yech. This had happened the last time my daughter did her laundry. I asked what she did to make the appliance work and dry her clothes. With her advice I headed back to the basement. Reset the dryer. Waited a while then went back and checked on it. The clothes were still cold. The clothes were still wet. This despite the fact that they had been tumbling for over 2 hrs. Now real frustration has hit. I can't accomplish the first 2 tasks on my list. Bad omen for the day!

Well, onward and Upward!, I always say (actually, I never say that, well, hardly ever}.

Next task. Trip to the credit union. I can do this. Well, I can, unless the car blows up or there's a flat on it... or something horrifying is going to happen. I stuck my head out the door to prepare me for the worst. Then I stuck all of me out the door. It was positively radient outside. The weather was totally balmy. I realized for the first time since November I was going somewhere and not going to put on a coat. The sun had come out. It was one of those "indescribably awesome, winter has died" days. I took a deep breath and we set out on our excursion (the credit union lies in a town 20 miles east of us) through the countryside. No need to hurry over the freeway (you have to threaten me to drive on that road anyway. Freeway drivers today are totally nutz!). Ten minutes out and I had forgotten the incompleted task of filing my taxes. My wet clothes sitting in a dryer, not drying. It was the first coatless day of spring. I felt good.

We grabbed lunch in a favorite eating spot and made a decision that we could live without grocery shopping. We stepped back into the bright sunlight not really wanting to make the return trip home. But we did. I began looking for the Harleys as we headed back. 'Guys on motor bikes' is my first sure sign that spring has arrived. It wasn't but a few minutes before I saw the first one ahead of us. This is it. Spring for me has officially arrived. Forget the robbins. Forget the equinox. On this Saturday of unaccomplished tasks the greatest event has burst on the scene. Spring is here!

I am happy. We call my mom. Make arrangements and pick her up. Soon we are headed into the world where farmers have begun tilling their land, more motorcycles and a sense that I shall not freeze anymore this winter. Incomplete tasks pale in comparison to cows lazing in pastures and spring fields hinting of green, blue skies overhead, and warm sunshine pouring through my windshield.

It is a good day!

I Blame The Super Bowl

What a winter we have had this year. 55 days in a row with temperatures well above normal. I have forgotten what it feels like to get up early and go out to remove 3 feet of snow off my car before driving to work. It has been awesome.

We were getting a bit spoiled. Wearing a light weight jacket layered with a sweater underneath. (I hate bundling up in the winter time)... I'm feeling pretty good about living in Michigan this year.

Then What? With the Super Bowl coming to Detroit the natives of Motor City are feeling a bit sad that there is no cold weather and snow to show off to all the tourists arriving for the weekend. (Folks, really now. The people are coming to sit in a stadium and watch fools run around chasing a ball. They are not planning a ski get away! So these same natives begin to pray for snow! Yes, that's right, pray for snow.

Well, Glory, Be. Somebody up there likes them. We got dumped on. I awoke to a snow covered yard and streets. A car once again buried. I struggle into my layers and head out to remove the crud off my car, cursing people who thought this weather would be a good idea, but glad we didn't get as much here as Detroit had gotten.

The temperatures rose to 31. The snow has begun to thaw. It is rather lovely out, actually. The wind is blowing. But, I'm still blaming the Super Bowl for the end of our spring like winter and the arrival of the real thing.

Do you suppose they will pray for a return to what we had before once the Super Bowl is over. Will we get 55 more days of above average temperatures?

What the heck. I'm just a bit of a pessimist, I must admit. Each morning during the 55 days I'd hear myself say as I backed my car out of my drive "I'll pay for this nice weather before winter is over." I guess it is time to settle up.

Just A Cup Full Of Yogurt!

the stomach flu made its eminent arrival known with a touch of queasiness during the evening hours. By morning I had all symptoms full on. Not to be deterred I set off for work and managed to get through my 4 hours of hard labor. I Headed home for some chicken noodle soup, sure that normalcy would be returned. It wasn't. The next day was more of the same and I dedicated myself to my old formula of clear liquids. You know the drill. Chicken boullion, jellow, 7up, clear fruit juice. I figured it would take 24 hrs to flush the bug out of my system. I added 2 TBSP of the pink stuff which did nothing to slow down events but did ease the cramping. Despite my efforts the next day I was still trying to figure out why my intestinal track is now shooting green slime out of my body.

By morning on the 4th day I'm sure it is a bacterial infection and will need antibiotics. I call the doctor and make an appointment. I like the idea of dropping a few pounds but this is not the way I'd like to do it... and despite the fact that I really don't have an appetite, I'm weary of the clear liquid goop. I want something else added to the mix.

The doctor empathized with me then recommended that I take 8 ounces ("It can't be less than 8 ounces," he warned) of yogurt. He sent me to the lab for a battery of tests but told me to start the yogurt routine right away. "Yogurt?" I queried. "Does it have to be plain?"

"No!, just so long as it's yogurt. The bacteria in the yogurt will destroy the bacteria in your intestinal tract in many instances. Just try it and see what happens" he instructed.

I can do that... I LIKE yogurt.

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home and filled the cart up with yogurt. Came home and immediately dove into my first cup. I had the 2nd cup for a bedtime snack. I went to bed and slept through the night. The next morning I was still a bit queasy, but decidedly better. I stayed on the yogurt routine. By the next day I was ready to eat something besides soup. I pronounced myself well.

Who would have thought? Well, maybe you knew this stuff, but I sure didn't. I am a new fan of yogurt and have resolved to have a cup of yogurt a day. What harm can it do? Eh, and decidedly it does a lot of good. And I want to share. Just in case you don't know... try a cup o' yogurt. It could cure what ails you.

Whatever Happened to "anniefay.net"

Having a website, is like, well, actually... a lot of work. And really, who wants to do something that qualifies as work without getting paid for it?

But the truth is I had rather put the site "on hold" for a bit. I was headed off for surgery (October 4, I had a total knee replacement), and I was going to be home for a month-a whole month with nothing to do but watch crap on daytime TV. With all that time, I knew I'd get busy and update my site and do all the cool stuff I had been dreaming about doing. But, what really happened is - I had surgery. Wahoooo! It went well. Oh, yeah! I groaned! I moaned! My sister Phyllis, God bless her, came daily and looked after me as did my brother-in-law James. They picked me up at the hospital the day I was discharged and then hauled my sorry self back and forth to here and there (they have this kickbutt Cadillac with a back seat big enough to let me slide in and out without having to bend my are you kidding me this baby is not bending knee - and even took me to physical therapy a couple times.

Now my daughter owns this little Ford Escort, which is a very nice little car and has really been good to us. I knew I wasn't going to be able to be spoiled all the time, so I went out on my first day of therapy, with a determined air began the process of sliding my huge ass into the back of a very little car. We have cloth seats (Phyllis and James have leather seats... over which a large ass can slide without a great deal of work) But with a lot of grunting, gasping, grabing hold of the "oh shit" handle, I finally managed to get myself all the way across the back of the car. I felt as if I'd just run a 26 mile marathon. And with that accomplishment, Jamelah became the designated driver for her crippled, old, invalided mother (bless her heart). Actually, it was rather fun at times. See I could be all laid back in the rear seat, pointing at the kid and yelling "Onward James" (actually, I never did that. Not even once. If I had, I have a feeling I'd still be the invalided old mother stuck forever in my recliner).

Therapy is a 3 times a week gift they give you after joint replacement surgery. The premise being; you go where large hulking men torture you for 1 hour while making you do impossible things with a leg whose muscles have atrophied from lack of use and is now stiff with scar tissue and refuses to do what you tell it to. Then they tell you to repeat the same routine at home - EVERY day. Well, being a determined gal, I managed to follow their instructions and, in fact, was discharged from therapy 2 weeks early because I had achieved the range of motion that was the goal.

But, I digress! This is just other stuff. What I was trying to tell you was what happened to my website. You see, to manage the therapy and just the plain old pain that followed the surgery I was given some very nice pills. I found it easy to sit in my recliner and sleep through boring daytime TV and a lot of boring night time TV too. Add to that a knee that took a few weeks to get to the point where I could bend it enough to sit at my computer and you have a web site that I had planned to play with nonstop, totally ignored. No updating happened. All the fun blogs I created in my mind laying back in my chair staring at the ceiling about my whole experience, never got written. After 5 weeks I was back at work. Although I only have a 4 hr a day job, that was about all the sitting at a desk I could manage. I spent 2 months just checking in on my email and, in most cases, not even bothering to hit the reply or forward button.

In the middle of all that fun I managed to lose my credit card. So when I called the bank they immediately froze my account until a new card could be issued. That was a 2 week period with no card. Not a big deal for me, I hardly use it... except when I am too lazy to walk inside the gas station and choose to pay for gas at the pump... but mostly its used for my on-line purchases. Part of those said purchases was an automatic charge each month to my account for my web page. Actually, it was a small monthly charge about which I never bothered to think and continued to completely ignore. But in the time slot when my card was frozen the attempt to apply this charge was denied, and since I was in the midst of ignoring email, I totally missed the message that there was a problem. When I got around to checking it out.... Alas, alas, anniefay.net was gone. (I learned this when my daughter asked me what had happened to the site, since I had not even bothered to check it out for a couple months). In the meantime I had been keeping a tag on all my emails leading to a nonexistent web address.

My daughter, who had kindly taken care of me after my surgery, explained to me that my blog connection could be changed and I could just forget the whole website business. I decided that was the route I would go. So, here it is. I'm going to try to keep it updated regularly now that I'm sitting here at the computer more often. I will be hosting pictures on a site specifically for that purpose and link to it from the blog, eventually. Although I probably won't put all the pictures up on a host site; I'll try to get some of them back up. By then nearly all of what had been anniefay.net will be back on line.

So, that's the whole sad story. Welcome to the new home of my ongoing babblings. Sign in with a comment and let me know you dropped by.