Wednesday, February 02, 2005

So I Checked the Weather

for Punxsutawney, PA and learned that they are having a nice sun shiny day. Well, isn't that awesome?

Of course, I really could care less, what the weather is in Penn’s Woods, but since our future the next six weeks is determined by some woodchuck kind of creature named Punxsutawney Phil, today I have a vested interest in their weather.

At first I was all excited about the sunshine because that meant only six weeks of foul cold left this year. But then I revisited the legend and learned that his shadow is exactly what you don't want Phil to see today. And since this whole thing relates as to whether he sees or doesn't see his shadow, I'm wondering about the other factors one might need to consider in this scenario.

For instance, what if Phil was out late last night and awoke this morning with an upset stomach and severe headache. Let's just say he was celebrating this day where he was getting all this media hype and he was feeling rather tightly wound so he had a little something to take the edge off. This morning he wakes up in a rather bad mood and says "Forget those bums, I'm sleeping in today." and refuses to leave his nice warm den.

But suppose, despite his determination to take a sick day from work with the headache and all, his boss calls him a bum, since he only works one a day a year anyway, and says HE HAS TO show up. So he wears his dark sunglasses, pulls the brim of his ballcap down over his swollen eyes so that no one can tell that he actually can't see anything, period. It wouldn't be the first time a body showed up to work yet in all actuality, wasn't there at all.

Or suppose, some smart aleck in the crowd, brings an umbrella... just suppose this jerk likes snow mobiling as some crazy people I know do, and sticks this umbrella up over ole Phil's head, alas NO SHADOW for Phil there.

I'm just saying, suppose something totally unexpected happened and whether or not Phil got to see his shadow had absolutely nothing to do with the weather, then what? Huh? Huh?

Of course worse things could be happening. You could get stuck in some cruel time warp like Bill Murray did and never get beyond February 2nd until you figured out what you were doing wrong in your life. In my case I might have to relive that day adinfinitum. How scary. That was a really cold day.

Whatever... I say Happy Ground Hogs Day, one and all! No matter how it comes out... we will either have milder weather beginning right now, or worse come to worse, we still have only SIX WEEKS OF WINTER LEFT. I can handle that! I say it's time to throw a party. I have wine waiting on the lower shelf of my fridge for just such an occasion as this. Just cause to bust that box open, eh! Partay Time!