But the year is winding down and things seem to be not such a mish-mash of horribleness. There are some things that became clear.
1. God kept his hand on Mom through this entire experience. Sometimes Mom and I talk and are in awe in the way God directed and helped Mom. Of course, it would seem better, if none of this had ever happened. But it has. And in the experience we see God was involved in even the small things and has seen to it that Mom received excellent care.
2. I couldn't have made it through this experience without my sister, Phyllis. Phyllis and Jim usually head south before "real" winter arrives and stay there til spring. This year they stayed here to be with Mom. Just the running to doctor appointments and tests would have killed me. They did most of the running. Which means they were with Mom when she received a lot of the bad news and I got it second hand.
3. I have always known my Mom was a really awesome woman. I have come to appreciate that even more this past year. She is stubborn and until she is sure about something she will not proceed. Sometimes that just about frustrated us to death, since we were so certain as to what she should do. In retrospect, in some cases you need to not get in such a hurry. Mom's cancer is not the kind that quickly spreads (not yet, anyway) and so not getting in a hurry was a good thing. My mother's incredible strength of spirit and determination is not defeated nor is her need to be independent.
4. Surgery is not always the best solution for breast cancer. Wow! I sure came full circle on that one. I really thought this was the ONLY answer. Turns out, for women my Mom's age, it isn't. Although we had a date set for surgery, Mom was never comfortable with the idea of having it. Now surgery has been put on hold until spring. I am not sure that she will choose to have the surgery at that time. What she chooses will be the best choice for her and we will support that choice.
5. Little things become more important when you have no guarantees. We lost track of the big stuff this year because we were kept so busy doing the everyday stuff. In the days, spending time with Mom, helping with her with the little things that were important to her, became top prioritiy. Ultimately, things don't really count. The people do.
6. Christmas without a lot of fuss is lots of fun. We just threw out all the stressful activities and did the essential. Shopping didn't happen and that was a blessing in itself. No purchases were made we could not afford. But when we came together at Christmas, we laughed and just loved the joy of being together. It was great to have Phyllis and James here; the first time in 10 years. This Christmas with Mom will always be one I will hold close to my heart because it was such a very special time. There was nothing unique; there were no big gifts; it was just a time of being together and loving one another. Like I said, it was very special.
7. I had to say goodbye to some very special family members. My cousin Gerri died unexpectly. It was sad to know I would not be seeing here again this side of heaven; and a favored Aunt also died at the age of 96. Aunt Hazel was a unique lady with a great sense of humor who loved to fish. She had moved to Florida and due to poor health we had not seen her in a very long time. It will be good to join her again someday in the future.
And, oh yeah! We got a dog. That was pretty cool. She is a border collie/hound mix. She has boundless energy and could play ball 24 hrs a day. She is an uncalculated miracle and brings much laughter into this house. Her name is Sweet Pea, which came with her and we just didn't feel like we needed to change it to some other ordinary thing.
So goodbye, 2006. You tried to beat us up, but in the end, faith in God, love of family held us together and we are all here ready for whatever 2007 holds. So bring it on 2007. We can take whatever you dish out and meet each day head on.
And that's that.
Happy New Year, everyone!
