Of Umbilical Cords

Umbilical Cords(part 3)

I settle into my routine. I have a doctor’s appointment in April and figure I’ll learn all about the results of the exciting 2 nights of studies at that time. I was surprised when I answered the phone and a very pleasant voice introduced himself and said “Dr Meyer called and has ordered your CPAP (Sleep Machine) and I’d like to set up an appointment and bring it over to you.”

I, of course, want to know who exactly this guy is and what on earth he is talking about. You see I had talked to people and this wasn’t the way it had worked for them. He explained that my doctor, after the results of the 2 sleep studies, had determined that I needed to be treated for sleep apnea and had prescribed CPAP equipment for me to use. Well, I was a bit obstinate and argued with him, for some reason, and gave him a bad time. I certainly wasn’t ready to get hooked up to anything like what I had experienced at the hospital sleep lab. Finally, I caved and set up a time for him to bring the damnable equipment over to the house. I might as well get started with this therapy. After all, it didn’t look like it was going to be a matter of choice.

So a couple afternoons later, over came Jason, or My Connection if you will, with my Sleep Machine. He sat down with me at the dining room table and explained the different components of the equipment and how they worked. What I could do and what I could NOT do. It came with a warm humidifier, so that bridge was crossed. And the mask didn’t look anything like the horrific stuff I’d been hooked up to in the hospital, however, it is hooked into the machine (computerized device programed to MY specific needs) by a 6 ft hose. Nothing like going to be every night with an umbilical cord attached to your nose.

He explained how the mask he had brought worked and how easy it was to use. He said it would take time to adjust and not to expect to use the machine more than a couple hours the first night and then to slowly add more time as I learned to tolerate it. He actually tried to make me think I would come to love having hose stuck up my nose exhausting warn damp air into my nasal cavity all night long. Yeah, he was not right about that. Although I did tolerate it for about 2 hours the first night.

The second night, I was determined to make it work. After all, I had to, didn’t I? So I managed to keep it on most of the night. However, the mask did not allow me to sleep except in one position. This left me twisted and cranky and sore, but I had to admit that I actually felt less tired than I usually did in the morning. So, yeah, I conceded it would probably work, but I also decided there must be something about this whole bizness that I was missing. Well, when all else fails read the manual. I pulled out the books that had come with the equipment and began reading. I redid things, tried again, still couldn’t tolerate the machine. I just was giving up and could find no other way to sleep except on one side or flat out on my back. By now my back is killing me and I’m thinking the treatment is worse than the problem.

By weekend, I have checked into my manufacturer’s website and thankfully found it had a bulletin board. I began reading the posts and it was like joining a support group. All kinds of advice and helpful hints. The first thing I learned was that I needed to try another mask. So, Monday I called My Connection and he came over the next day with a new mask. It was a lot different than the one he had started me out with. It was more like the one in the hospital, in that the device was inserted right up my nose. The tubing went behind my ears and I found I could roll back and forth with no restrictions. I slept for 4 hours that first night with the new mask. I actually climbed out of bed the next day without feeling like I just needed to go someplace quiet for a few weeks and sleep nonstop around the clock.

The second night with the new mask, I began to play around a bit and get inventive. I actually found a way to clip the tubing pony tail style behind my head, so that it was completely out of my way. I found this position actually worked better with the equipment then the prescribed way of attaching it to the head. I slept even better that night, but woke up with a booming headache and my throat and nose so dry I just wanted to drink 3 cans of soda to feel some kind of tingle in my throat again.

But I was… finally… feeling like this whole thing was going to be OK... maybe? What could be more comforting than going to be each night with an umbilical cord attached to a soft humming, light giving machine? What?