Home Stretch Greased With a Little Jelly

NOTE: This post with the following posts concludes my adventure/life experience in being diagnosed with sleep apnea. The posts (if you want to read them in order) are

1. Darth Vader, Man of My Dreams
2. On Becoming Ms. Darth Vader
3. A Journey to the Dark Side
4. Of Umbilical Cords


I find I am actually tolerating The Machine and feeling like I can handle it after all. It's not like I want to be tied to this contraption every night when I go to bed, but the truth is, I can actually tell that I feel better when I do tie myself up to it.

Since I wanted to tolerate the machine more, I was happy when I stumbled over a post on the manufacturer's bulletin board regarding having a sore nose. Those who have been using this equipment for a few years are sharing how a little lubricant called K-Y jelly up the nose alleviates the discomfort. So off to the drugstore I went to buy the jelly stuff but just in case they didn't carry it I took a list of other products others recommended on the site like pure lanolin and bee's wax. I handed my list to the druggest and asked if they carried any of the items. He stated they keep the K-Y jelly and the lanolin in stock, which would I like to try. Since neither was expensive I figured I'd try a tube of both. If one didn't work, surely the other would.

As I turned from the counter with my 2 tubes of lubricant I noted that a line had now formed behind me and most were looking at me curiously with that some kind of look on their faces. I thought nothing of it and figured they were just wishing the gray haired lady would get her junk and get out the way so they could get their junk.

After supper, I decided to look over what i had bought, so I pulled out my bag from the druggist and sat down at the table to read the instuctions while I finished my tea. My daughter looked over at me and said "Is that K-Y Jelly?"

"Why yes!"

"Don't tell me," she added, "you're going to stick that up your nose, right?"

"Yeah, why? It's supposed to keep your nasal passages from getting so dried out at night."

She laughed, reached for the tube and began reading the instuctions to me. Well she tried between fits and giggles. And since mostly the user was instructed to apply "liberally" to the codom... but not too "liberally" I soon found myself joining in her laughter.

Then I explained about the strange looks of those waiting in line behind me at the drugstore. "I'll bet they were wondering just why this gray haired old woman was planning to do with K-Y Jelly."

That's OK. Sometimes one needs to make the world stop and just reconsider things, eh?

Whatever, it worked. I have finally adjusted to having tubes sticking out my head, I roll over at night completely unaware of them. I have even added a couple strips of tape to help keep my mouth shut. My daughter looked at me the other night just before I jumped into bed and nearly suffered a stroke from laughing at the comical image I now am at bedtime. Happily my eyes are closed so I don't laugh myself silly. All I'd doing is heading off to la-la land and a good nights sleep.

And that is a Great thing.