jibber jabber

What I Got Is A Free Pass!

2011-08-17T11:07:00.000-07:00

I felt intimidated by the hugeness of the hospital. Trust me, it is huge! And there's lots of it; I mean, there is a campus of hospitals to make up The Hospital and each hospital on the campus is huge. Altogether, that makes it SUPER HUGE! and in GREAT HUGENESS. I was correct to feel a bit panicked and very intimidated. Jamelah said "Don't have a panic attack!" as I gulped when we approached the first parking ramp (not our designated ramp... we, had to pass 2 more before we got to ours). Humph! I'm not panicking. Yep. I'm not, well, not yet anyway.

Our instructions were precise (which is probably why I doubted them) and clear. They took us to the right ramp, the right door, the right hallway, the right office. Weird.

Jamelah had brought her laptop and settled into a comfy couch in a large outer lounge area and settled in for some enjoyable reading time. I headed into the inner sanctum to face the dreaded ordeal. I was quickly checked in and sent off with the nurse for my first inspection. She left me to catch my breath and I was soon greeted by 2 medical students who were "happy" (their words, not mine) to make my acquaintance and wanted to know if I would mind if they "observed" the process. "Nope!" you know, the more the merrier.

Next the assistant doctor came and inspected me with the students "observing". They then left me to cool my heels until the Real doctor would come in to look me over. The nicest thing about having your vocal chords examined is that you remain fully clothed. There is none of that uncomfortable business of getting undressed and stacking your clothes on a chair in proper order so none of your unmentionables are visible. Sort of like, you weren't really wearing them when you came in.

Anyway, the good doctor made his appearance and there I was in a tiny cubicle of an office with 4 doctors (that's right 4... well, 2 med students and 2 doctors) to inspect my vocal chords. The room seemed too close. We had to leave this first room and go to another one which contained the TV monitors and sound equipment. Down the hall we went in our convoy of 5. And who said this wouldn't be any fun.

The doctor sprayed some numbing stuff up my nose because that is how they would get the camera down to my vocal chords. I had to wait a few seconds so we could chat a bit and become better acquainted before they began getting intimate with my voice box. The doctor handed me a microphone (seriously, a microphone) then said, "I am going to give you a short story to read. I want to see how your vocal chords move as you read."

"Really," I said, "I thought maybe we were going to sing karaoke." He chuckled, "well, maybe we'll do that when we finish up here." Then I chuckled and let him know he probably wouldn't want me singing, mike or no mike. So, the process began. I got to read the story a bit then make a lot of eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sounds and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs and Ha, ha ha... and hee hee hees. Then it was over. There was some chatting it up between him and his #1 doc and questions to his students. They seemed to all be having a great old time and in perfect agreement with him on everything.

When they got through "conferring" the good doctord told me this:

1. I had an infection on my vocal chords. This was why they appeared white. (I got to see them on the TV monitors too) One was worse than the other. This is a common side effect people have who use Advair on a daily basis as I do. I would be given a script to kill the stuff and he would make a recommendation to my primary care doctor concerning this. During his discussion regarding his letter to my doctor, I decided all by myself that I'd just quit using the damn stuff. It costs too much anyway.

Step one. Check. That's done

2. The vocal chords are muscles. Just like other muscles if not used they become weakened. Weekend athletes learn they cannot workout all at once without suffering the consequences. They have to remain in shape and keep in shape. IN OTHER WORDS, PEOPLE! He told me my biggest problem was that I wasn't talking enough. That's right. Since I had retired, I had stopped talking as much and my vocal chords had weakened. He recommended that I read aloud at home, practice using my diaphragm and would probably begin to observe that talking would become increasingly easier and easier. WELL! KNOCK MY SOCKS OFF! I got a free pass. The doctor told me to talk. No! I will not shut up. I have to talk. Listen. I'm just following doctor's orders, so talk I will.

Don't you just love it? No?

Step two. I shall work on it... and enjoy every minute.

3. Then he told me he wants me back in 6 weeks to see how I am doing. Really? Come back here? To this SUPER HUGE place with its 10,000 parking ramps. Humph. You think it's necessary?

Step Three We'll just have to wait and see about that one. I've got an appointment. Maybe.

Organ Donor?

2011-08-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

Mom hasn't driven for years but has kept an active driver's license to use for ID purposes. It was easy to maintain since Michigan lets a person renew by mail every other time. This was the time she had to go in and take the test to get a new license. I knew this would not work and we decided instead she should just get the Michigan ID.

So this morning we went to the Secretary of State's office to get her an ID. We pulled our number tag and took a seat. Mom always reads any word she sees. I always ignore it. This time she was reading a sign adhered to the back of the seat across from us. "Sign up today to become an organ donor". Then she said, "I don't want to be a donor."

Me; not paying attention. "I don't have any organs I want to donate." Now she has my attention: I'm thinking, "huh?". I have that organ at the house I thought I'd donate to Jamelah." (me really confused now. I can read the sign... but I can't figure out what organ she has at home to she had ever planned to donate to Jamelah).

Then she continued: "She was interested int taking music lessons and I thought I'd give it to her then".

Light dawns. She is talking about a piano. A beautiful Baldwin. She bought it when Jamelah was a kid and taking piano lessons. I am not going to explain to her that the organ on the sign has nothing to do with music. I'm just going to enjoy the moment.

Ansel Adams: Wow!

2011-07-11T07:58:00.000-07:00

So Saturday Jamelah and I headed for the Ella Sharp Museum in Jackson to see the Ansel Adams Masterworks exhibit. Like many I have enjoyed his photos and was plain excited, you know; like a kid on the way to Cedar Pointe.

There were other exhibits there also and I enjoyed them all; especially one by a local photographer, Jennie L. Green. Ms. Green was an elementary teacher and took pictures of life around Jackson in the late 1800s/early 1900s until her death sometime in the 40s. She had received some acclaim and had exhibits in several places in her lifetime. The fact that she had to develop her own pictures really impressed me. I don't know how I thought film (well plates, actually) were developed back in the day. I had never thought about that at all. Mom has mentioned a few times that my grandfather had developed pictures at home he had taken when they were kids. I think I figured he had to do that because they lived way out in the boonies. I guess I'm just letting you know how truly "without a clue" I am about some things. Anyway, her photos were really interesting and some were very beautiful.

We were dilly-dallying around because we could hear someone up ahead of us holding forth about Adam's photos and, well me anyway, just wanted to go in and LOOK. So when the chatterer was far enough ahead we entered the gallery with the gallery. Oh My! I have a coffee table book (dumb name for a book) of Adams pictures, but still. seeing the originals. matted and framed. hanging on the wall. Oh My!

Jamelah liked to look and then get her nose right up to the glass and study carefully all the details in the photo. I liked to stand back and try to find the best light (there were reflections fm things hanging in the adjoining gallery. this annoyed me) and try to stand right in front to find the spot where he stood when he took the picture. I wanted to see what he saw.

My favorite print, and evidently evidently everyone's was titled "Moonrise" and you can see it
here

They were selling prints in the gift shop, but all copies of this photo had sold so they are ordering one for me. I am excited to get the print. We have a place in the dining room all picked out for it. Yea!

Part of the exhibit showed the cameras he had used. I smiled at their seeming familiarity knowing I was totally wrong.

Altogether it was a great time and if you are around here the exhibit will be on display through September 4.

Super Moon = Hunter's Moon?

2011-03-21T05:16:00.001-07:00

Time has been total chaos. Or so it seems. Then when I try to put it all in perspective I always say "Hey, it wasn't that bad."

Mom has fallen twice in the last 2 weeks. The first time we had to call the EMTs to help us get her up out of the floor. The 2nd time was Sunday morning. I'm not writing about that, I'm just telling it as a prefix, you know, to explain the main characters here. After her first fall she became nervous about staying alone nights and began spending nights with us. Every evening she would tell me she was going to stay home that night and I would tell her that was fine but to call me if she changed her mind. Every night when the sun went down, she called.

So, I had been picking Mom up each evening a little after 8pm. We'd drive the regular route; up East North Street before turning onto our street. And up E North Street we'd see the moon rising. It was incredible. Each night I'd come into the house, get Mom settled, and have to go back out to moon gaze. I was curious about the moon and when all the hype hit the media, I was already into it.

Saturday dawned awesome. I took Mom home and settled her in and then went about the day. We had to buy Mom a new microwave and vacuum because hers needed replaced. We got to her house to deliver her stuff and found her sitting in her usual chair wondering where everyone had been all day. We set up the microwave and put things we had bought away and tried to talk her into coming to our house for the night. She said no she planned to stay home because she wanted to get out of the habit of spending the night with us. So, I got her supper ready for her (had to make sure the microwave worked. it did) and we headed out the door.

"We're going home Mom, OK? Call me if you change your mind and I'll be right here to pick you up."

She replied, "OK, but I'll be fine." So, off we went..the few blocks home.

We ordered pizza and decided we were going to look at the moon. We discussed a good vantage point and I said "...driving up North Street after 8. I have seen it every night." So we planned to visit a city park that sits right at the end of the street. We are good to go. The phone rings and it is Mom saying she thinks I'd better come and get her. "OK, be right there Mom!" I told my daughter we'd pick up Mom and she could go the park without me. I'd see the moon when we drove up North Street on the way back home.

We got Mother and started our drive home; by now you know route; up East North Street. The moon was not there. Clear sky. No moon. We decided to go hunt it up. Mom asked if this was to be the Hunters Moon and Jamelah said "Yes." Why, because we were going to hunt it down. We'd just take my 96 year old mother along for the ride. So we kept driving past our turnoff.

"Where are we going?" Mom wanted to know.

"To hunt the moon!" said my daughter.

"Hunters Moon?" my mother said.

"Yes! the hunters moon."

We headed to 94 (this interstate heads due east) because we figured it would give us the best vantage point and once it appeared we'd find a place to pull over and enjoy the view. So moon gazing we went. Due east up 94. When the moon first broke the horizon I nearly peed my pants.

"I should have brought my camera" Jamelah said.

I can't tell you how excited I was. (I can't remember if Jamelah said I was weird, such a nerd, or a geek. It was one of those things. She has called me all of them at one time or another.) I was ridiculous. Like a kid at the fair for the first time. It was AMAZING. The hype was not over hyped. I nearly cried. I was so happy.

I turned around "Look Mom! the MOON!"

"Yeah," she said. "I can see it." and then she was ready to go home. We weren't of course.

Our drive lasted about an hour with the drive home being less interesting. No moon. No need to explain, right! Once home and Mom was settled in we were outside enjoying the view.

Sunday morning I showed Mom a Super Moon picture taken by our friend Caryn. (see link)

Mom looked at it and said "We saw that, didn't we" she asked.

"Yes, Mom we saw it."

"Was that the Hunter's Moon?" she asked again.

Uh-hmmmmmmm The Hunter's Moon.

A Good Day To See A Movie

2011-01-13T06:48:00.000-08:00

So...our friend Denise volunteered to bring Mom's lunch today and hang out with her. Day Off for me! Yea! Jamelah and I decided we'd do lunch and go to the movies.

The day started off slow, neither one of us feeling like hurrying to get things done. I did dishes and the such while thinking about getting a pot of soup into the crock pot while never actually doing it. Jamelah finished up some stuff she had been working on and lunchtime passed us by. I figured I'd better get Mom's supper ready because we would be doing a later show than we originally thought. Jamelah headed off to the dealership to get an oil change she'd been delaying having done.

All the "have to dos" done we headed off for lunch at Red Lobster. Yum! You always pretend like you need more biscuits so you can have the waiter bring you a bag to take them home in. I love those biscuits. Stuffed and content we head for the theatre.

You know what? Wednesday afternoon is a good day to go to the movies. Why? Because no one else has decided to go at the same time. Parked right in front of the megaplex and walked in. Our movie choice: True Grit.We walked in to an empty theatre and picked exactly the best seats in the house. Not too close, not too far back. Right in the middle. We left an empty seat between us and piled it full of coats and purses and began watching all that stuff they show before the movie begins. Two other couples came to join us. 6 people in the theatre. then SHOW TIME! I love previews of coming attractions. Really, I do.

And then... a couple walks in. and sits right smack dab in front of us. COME ON! There are 6 people here and you have to sit directly in front of 2 of them. Really! There are probably 150 vacant seats in the house. 15 rows to choose from. Really! That is so rude. The female left to get popcorn or whatever, leaving the male sitting with his big old head directly in Jamelah's line of vision. I asked her if she wanted to move over, "yeah" she replied, climbing over me to sit in the next seat over. We looked at the near empty theatre and the transgressors who decided to plop down right in front of us and got the giggles. We were laughing uncontrollably by the time the female came back and then we got worse. We both laughing right out loud. Seriously loud. We had to stop. The previews began. I love previews of coming attractions.

The movie started. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! When suddenly I"m blinded by a bright white light. Ms. Rude in front of me has decided she really needs to check her text messages. I said "Really!" She closed her phone. Come on Folks!

Now here's my question. Why is that there is always someone coming to the movies that will talk incessantly, or find it necessary to explain the plot in detail to the person they are with (what is w/that anyway) and now feel it necessary to play with their phone during the movies. And furthermore, why do they always sit close to us. WHY? Yes, I want to know why!

Oh... and True Grit. Best movie I have seen in ages. Well acted, well scripted. Bravo! Go see it if you can. And also, the soundtrack. Loved it. Leaning on the Everlasting Arms played throughout... and Hold to God's Unchanging Hand was used. Loved those old hymns. They didn't sing them, but they just felt right. I buy the soundtrack I'd go see this movie again in a minute. Want to go with?

Mom has alzheimers

2010-11-28T13:44:00.000-08:00

Mom has Alzheimer's.

No more beating of my breast while screaming at the heavens asking WHY?. There is no answer to that question; so I've stop asking it. This is not going away. My life will never be the same again and simply by accepting this I have stopped the downward spiral over the cliff. Mama has Alzheimer's. She is slowly slipping away before my eyes. I can't bring her back.

Tomorrow will be sadder than today, and the next and the next. I can't change it. I am trying to live with it. I can't understand it. I am accepting it; daily, I accept it over and over again. Now, I treasure each segment in time that holds a light in her eyes and a shared memory.

She fights to hang onto herself and is frightened to find that she is losing her battle. She makes notes and lists and tries to make sure she is not "crazy". "Crazy" is her explanation for the lost minutes that just happened and the puzzle solving process of what day it is. She knows something is wrong and can't keep straight who called, what happened yesterday, last week, what she had for lunch and if she slept well. "I wake up in a new world every day," is one of her favorite expressions. Now she adds that she wakes up in a new world when she wakes from a short nap.

The memories slip farther and farther behind. Back to a time where I hold no memories. They are her escape, her youth, her memories. She now resides in the time she was Maggie Jiggs her nickname growing up. "I didn't know my name was Mary until I started school," she says. "They called me Maggie because I was so ugly." I can't imagine my mother ever being ugly. To me she has always been beautiful; perfectly turned out; perfectly proper. Ugly, I can't bring up an image of her that matches that description.

She is now, and always will be, my beautiful, proper, perfect Mom. Afterall, she is 96 years old. She can't be expected to remember everything, can she?

A Well Nigh Perfect Day!

2010-01-20T12:13:00.000-08:00

I hadn't planned to make it so memorable. As a matter of fact I would have preferred staying home and wasting time playing Majohng or something else as useless yet enjoyable. But I had promised. And the weather wasn't awful. The roads were clearing up. So.............

I picked Mom up for lunch and we drove by the bank to get her some folding money for her wallet so she'd have something she could spend. We headed to Wendys (her favorite place to dine, probably) for baked potatoes and chili. I had finished up my food and was cleaning up the table when I decided that what I really needed was a frosty. I told Mom, "I'm going to get a frosty. Do you want one." Now Mom had been cold during the time we had been there and she said "No. I'm already cold. I don't want something cold to eat. I already have this cold drink to drink." (aside. I had been trying to go up and get her a cup of coffee but she refused. She said she would have to throw out her soda if she got coffee and that would not be right.)I told her I would have gotten her one of the really small ones (frostys). She thought about it for half a second and said, "Well, that would be alright then. I'm drinking this cold drink. I guess I can eat that much cold ice cream." So. I went off to get in line to buy us both frostys.

Frosty. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. That in itself would make a day memorable. Even if nothing else good happened. BUT!

After we finished our frostys, still unfrozen, despite the cold treat, we decided to head across the street to K-Mart. One of Mom's favorite phrases when describing her life is "I never get to go shopping." But today, that was changing; we headed to K-Mart. Perfect. Sales. Mom picked out a pair of black slacks and a bright pink (she called it rose) sweater. About that time we ran into an old acquaintance (one from the Assembly from days gone by) Charles Zuck. We chatted a bit and then headed for the check out.

I wasn't buying anything, but when Mom got to the checkout she had forgotten our stop earlier at the bank. I reminded her that she had an envelope in her purse w/cash inside. She looked and sure enough she did. She exclaimed, "Well, when you get to be 100 you forget a few things." At which point I burst out laughing, while reminding her she wasn't a centenarian yet.

I told Mom as we were driving back to Albion, I believed she had a perfect day. "How so?" she asked.

Well..

We ate in her favorite restaurant, Wendys (I guess it's her favorite).
Shopped in her favorite store, K-Mart (actually 2nd favorite. Sears would be her favorite...but they're affiliated now, so same thing. Right?)
Did her favorite thing. Got seen by a friend and visited for a bit.

Yes perfect. And the frosty. That's just icing on the cake.

2009-12-17T06:08:00.000-08:00

Years ago, when Jamelah was still small, we began making our own nativity scene. A ceramics store downtown provided the figures. We talked it over, picked out how we wanted our scene to look, we painted them up, took them back and they fired them for us. We began with the 3 central figures; Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus. Each year we would add another figure or 2 depending on what we could afford. We watched our nativity grow each year.

The store went of business but we found another place in the town next door and continued to grow our nativity. We took in a couple of our figures to try and match their stock and was able to get a couple more figurines but that was all and that was the last year we kept that tradition. However, our scene was pretty much completed. We had wanted to purchase a few more pieces (the animals, sheep and whatnot) but the last pieces we bought we not on the same scale and our animals are a bit large, noticeable, but OK.

This year, Christmas caught us unprepared. With our schedules being packed and spending a lot of time at Mom's, somehow our tree just did not get put up. It just doesn't look anything like Christmas at our house, but our neighbors more than make up for it.

Wednesday I decided I had to do something, even if it would not be very much. I strung clear LED lights around our herb garden pots. Cleared off the stop shelf of our bookcase to make way for the things regularly kept on our end table, and set up our nativity in its regular spot. Now it feels like Christmas. The rest of the house may look sadly lacking in Christmas cheer but this tradition is in place. On Christmas morning we will shoo Sweet Pea off the couch (which she owns) and read the Christmas story from Luke. Then we will thank God for the greatest gift ever given and it will truly be Christmas.

Things I'll Miss About Working...

2009-10-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

Miss? Surely there's something. Like...

1. The ride to work each morning. It's true. It's a 5 minute drive. Not much huh! But, there is this place on my street that I pass that often makes me gasp. There once was an old factory there which closed. It was torn down by the DNR and the site cleaned up. Now pronouced safe, the city uses it as a soccer field. So it's wide open and looking east each morning I have a new view, unobliterated, of the sky. I'm a sky girl. And right now the timing is perfect. The sun is tinting everything golden and the clouds are tinged in pink. I love this time of day, I love this spot.

2. Coffee. Java Peak is the brand sold by the local gas station and I stop there for my morning caffeine fix. Large coffee (24 oz) with half-n-half. The same people are usually there each morning and we are familiar strangers. We do a corregrpahed dance around each other as we fill our paper cups from the spigots of hot brew. We all seem in good moods although our comments mention the fact that it is still too early to call this a "Good morning!". We complain about the weather, usually, because this is Michigan. Mary and Arlene have been the crew at this station for a long time. Everyting moves smoothly, until some idiot wants to spend his weekly income on lottery tickets, then we all grumble and shift our weight from foot to foot as the checkout line lengthens. I will NEVER buy lottery tickets in the morning at the gas station. That is just rude and inconsiderate. Most people know this. Usually it is a quick in and out. I have perfectly good coffee at home so I don't suppose I'll feel the need to run for a cup in the mornings. But, maybe, once in a while, I'll have to go. Just for that feel of morning commaradierie with my fellow coffee buyers at the gas station.

3. The view from my window. My office is now on the top floor of City Hall. Due to a water problem in the basement we were moved up this summer. The ceiling height in my office is at least 14 ft tall. My windows are 7 ft high. and probably at probably 5 ft wide. Have a mentioned that I am a sky lady. My desk faces the window. I had to close the blind half way because the light flooding in was blinding me. But I have to face it. I have to. You know the glare would make my computer screen completely unreadable. I get lost sometimes sitting here staring out my window. I'm doing it now as I type this. It's a partly cloudy day and the sky stretches on forever and the clouds are fleeing past my window, moving eastward. It's beautiful. It's beautiful now with the rising sun adding golden hi-lights to everything. It's beautiful any time of the day. During weather the mouting clouds climbing mile high are breathtaking to watch. Sometimes I just get lost in ooking out my window the the sky dancing in from of me. It is awesome.

4. Sandee. I love her. She is the secretary to the City Manager and the Director of Human Resources. She is remarkable. She can always make me laugh. And we delight in playing jokes on each other by any means available. She's a great listener. She's good people. She'll be my friend when I leave here, but I shall miss her dopping in to my office for a minute or me sitting in her office just chatting about stuff.

and... I stopped here. I stopped because I would finish this later. It didn't happen. From experience I will say I miss all of the above, probably. We recently had the Christmas potluck and I attended. Soon all conversation turned to work and I was not "in the know". I found myself grinning. It was OK. No more stress about the daily occurrances. I miss it. I miss it. Maybe... once in a while, I think about it. But mostly when I look out my window from home and see the snow covering everything, I don't miss it at all. Welcome to the now, Anne. It is a good place to be.

Goodbye City Hall! I shall miss you.

2009-08-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

So... I should be blogging all the time now. But, I always feel too busy. That may have something to do with becoming addicted to Facebook games (Mafia Wars and Farmtown). But, as luck would have it I am getting bored with that entire boogity boo business. Not to the point where I am ready to quit, but I find 30 minutes a day pretty much does it. So, now what.

Well, I am retiring... yes... again! My last day to work is October 30. I don't know what I will do for income because that lost paycheck is really going to hurt. Well, life is, if not anything else, an adventure. So, perhaps I will just enjoy the adventures of it all.

I have asked to teach a Bible Class at the church and it looks like this may happen when the timing comes together.
Also, I'm looking at doing some volunteering. I really think I have to give back some way. My mom worked as a volunteer in our community for as long as she was physically able. She was a volunteer at the hospital until they closed the doors. She also worked at the blood drives for years. She set an excellent example and I want to follow the pattern she set. We have a food pantry at our church that distributes food once a month and they are looking for volunteers. I am sure I can find some place to fit in there or somewhere.

Anyway, tomorrow is my last day to work. Yep! That's right. tomorrow is my last day. hee, hee, hee.

So, goodbye City Hall. I shall miss you. Really! I shall.

My Mind Is Made Up

2009-04-03T05:34:00.000-07:00

I'm going to retire. Again! Yes, Again! This time for keeps.

The last time I left my job I hung on working part-time. When, due to budget cuts, the part-time job ended, I worked part-time as the secretary for my church. It was essential to make my monthly budget to have more income. This time, well, nothing has actually changed, except by working I have increased my monthly donation from Social Security, I actually think I can swing it without working. That's my plan, anyway.

I can't imagine it. Not getting up every day and slouching off to the daily grind with a quick stop for coffee on the way in. This winter did me in. I decided that I was not getting up in the cold anymore and cleaning off a car just because I HAD to be somewhere besides home drinking my coffee. Coffee from a coffee spot is great, but it's not like I can't make coffee just as good right at home. Yes, before the year is out I shall plan to make and drink coffee home and enjoy it even more.

Are you wondering just when. My hope is to work through the month of September. Of course, I'm not adverse to stopping prior to that date. I am currently training my assistant to take over my job duties and by then we should have completed the annual cycle. After that she will be on her own. She's a very bright assistant and I know she will have not problem with this job. In fact, she is pretty much perfect for it.

So that's that. I find I am already thinking I won't be here much longer and this time I'm not coming back except for those special events where they invite the retirees.

It's gonna be great. I'm making a list of things I want to do.

* Take pictures of stuff I love

* Sew. I bought a brand new machine which I have had for a year. I took a class to learn how to use it. I haven't even mended anything since the class nor made anything, nor anything else. But soon I'm going to sew... again. I loved the creative process. I hope I can still do it.

* Clean my house. Oh yes! That will be fun.

* Ministry. I want to become involved in some type ministry. I'm thinking about what it will be. Just want to make sure it is the Lord and not me whispering in my ear.

* Stress out less.

* Watch the snow from my window, not from my car.

* Do more with my Mom. Now I visit her daily, but I want to spend more time with her.

* Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!

I could have put my eye out!

2009-01-28T11:57:00.001-08:00

Tentacles
Originally uploaded by Annie Fay

Winter seems a savage beast this year as the snaggletoothed icicles hanging from the front of the house give credence that all of nature is out to get us. I moan when even a few more flakes of snow flutter downward. I gasp when the cold northwest wind eats my face when I step out the door. I shiver under blankets trying to keep the chill out of my bones and wonder if I am really cold or just feel that way because I know the wind chill outside is a negative 20 degrees. I think this should all be preserved someway. I should be taking pictures and posting them but I can't stand the idea of standing still in the cold long enough to snap a picture.

I curse the elements when I begin the futile task of removing snow from my car as one side of the windshield fills up with snow by the time I get the other side cleared. It is hopeless. This winter seems colder and grayer and gloomier and sadder than all the superlatives you can associate with weather rolled into one long, bleak, bad winter day. These days are shorter, the nights darker, tempers flare more quickly. Will it ever end?

But in some moment, and it should really be captured, the sun refracts from the icicles hanging outside my window. I go to see the soft white of fresh snow covering all the mistakes of ugly gray slush and I seem to have stepped out of time. This moment is perfect beauty. I smile, grab my camera and try to catch this instant, knowing full well, even so, I could lose an eye. Those things do happen, you know.

11 below zero morning

2009-01-22T13:34:00.001-08:00

11 below zero morning
Originally uploaded by Annie Fay

This is what 11 below zero looks like. Nothing describes what it feels like. Nothing explains the cutting chill of trying to warm a vehicle up so you can endure the short drive to work. Eeeegads! What if I had to walk. I know what I know. I know I hate winter. I know this is the last winter I will do this. At least that's what I think I know.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2009-01-22T12:57:00.000-08:00

It seems the only thing I am passionate about this winter is the weather. I can't stand that every time I converse with someone I am usually talking about work or about how hard it is to get to work. It's not news to anyone that Michigan is cold in the winter. It isn't news to me either. It is not news to anyone who knows me that I complain a lot in the winter about how cold it is.

But this winter is abominable. Really abominable. So far they report that we have received 26 inches more snow already this year than we typically get in an entire winter season. Maybe that means winter is done. It did its meanest to us and now it is all wintered out. I hope so. I know for dang sure that I'm all wintered out.

But we're only half way through the winter. If we get as much snow the rest of the season as we have gotten so far we will definitely not only be ahead of the average we will be breaking records. Anyway, that's what I'm thinking.

I don't want to break any records. I want it to end. Now! Today.

It looks good outside. The weatherman said it would climb above freezing today and although it hasn't made it yet, I'm still optimistic. It is 28 degrees. That's like balmy considering we've been having sub zero temps and wind chills. The sun is even shining. Just 4 degrees warmer and these mountains of white gook could melt before they turned nasty brown.

I'm hoping. I'm hoping. At least today maybe it will feel like like we do not live in the Tundra. And soon, if I make it through the next 2 months, then it really will be spring. I can hardly wait for flowers and butterflies and warm sun on my face. I can hardly wait.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

a slippery slope

2009-01-07T13:16:00.000-08:00

Slippery slope, indeed. Isn't all of life one?

It's morning again. It's morning and it is winter and it is cold and it is snowing and i have to go to work and i have to take the dog out and i am running late. Yeah, like that. It's morning again.

I round up Sweet Pea. The easiest part of the ordeal. She comes circling as soon as I start sliding my arms into my coat. How does she know? Then the circling begins. It is some kind of morning dance we do. Me trying to get to the back door and her making sure that I take her with me when I walk out it. Somehow we manage to do exactly that. Get out the back door without me tripping over her form circling repeatedly around my legs. I hitch her to her tree (with a 25 ft leed. Trust me this is not cruelty. This dog is an escape artist and this is our ONLY option) then head for the drive and my car.

I stand in front of it. Why am I perplexed. Of course it's covered with snow. This IS Michigan, and it's morning and i have to get to work and it just wouldn't be right if i didn't have to clean the white stuff that fell during the night off my car so i could do that. I unlock the car and start the engine. Pull the broom out of the back seat (it's much faster than an ice scraper/brush) and start to work on the top of the car. It's not too bad, some days it is really piled high. Then I feel it; my feet are sliding (we live on a hill). I grab the handle to the back door and catch myself from sliding all the way down the drive and out into the street. And in this awkward position I continue; holding on to the door handle with one hand, sweeping snow off the car with the other.

Once I finish all I can reach while hanging on to the rear door handle, I have to figure out how to navigate the rest of the car. I manage. Afterall I have been living in Michigan a very, very long time. And in this house on the hill... a long time. So, that's done.

I head back to the rear yard and gather up the dog who is always excited to see me. I don't know why either, but I strongly suspect it has something to do with the treat she knows is coming once we get back into the house.

I'm running late. I grab a baggie and fill it with cheerios and pour a little milk into a sealed plastic bowl and head out the door. The defroster has done a good job, the windshield is clear. The walk into the building from the parking lot across the street is a bit slicky but soon I am inside my office. I set breakfast on my desk, go to the front office and take off my coat and manage to get distracted only slightly before heading for my desk. Afterall, breakfast is waiting.

My computer is booting up and I turn to the task of eating. To my surprise I see that I have milk all over my desk. No way! Yes. That's milk. I clean up the mess. Look at my empty cereal bowl (all the milk leaked out with the lid still sealed, or appearing to be sealed) and my bag of dry cheerios. Oh well, I dump the cherrios into the bowl, pick up the spoon and sit down to a great breakfast.

I must add that at lunch when I reached into my purse I found everything wet. I was sure I had not pushed snow into my purse while getting in to my car (I have done that before), so I couldn't figure it out. Then my brain started working and I realized it was wet with milk. In fact everything was wet with milk. I had to dump everything in my purse out. Turn it inside out and set it in front of my air filter to dry. Then wash everything off. Especially the wayward change that collects in the bottom of my purse.

Glad Ware indeed. That bowl was certainly misnamed.

Black Eyed Peas and The New Year

2009-01-03T06:03:00.000-08:00

My Mom the last few years has become resolute in the need for eating black eyed peas on New Year's Day. It is traditional to bring good luck. She says her mother told her this. So when shopping she always makes sure there's some in the house she can fix for January 1 each year. Honestly, I don't remember that we did this when I was growing up, but for us, it is now a New Year's Day Tradition.

This year we invited Mom over to watch the Rose Bowl Parade and for lunch. We curled up on our new family room furniture and let Mom enjoy the "power" recliner (it's not what you think. it is simply a recliner that is electric and you don't have to use muscles to get it into position. So, not a lift chair). The parade was beautiful as usual. Jamelah is working on a new afghan for the new couch and she happily worked on that. I just watched the parade and Mom and I chatted. Although, once in a while we had to hush so Jamelah could count stitches.

For dinner we had our good luck black eyed peas, ham and sweet potatoes with some pie which, by some miracle, we just happened to have. It was a fun time but by this time Mom was ready for home and her powerless recliner.

The black eyed pea thing is evidently a southern thing. You can read about it here. http://newsok.com/article/3184895/1198669427 If you didn't have a nice bowl of peas for New Year's Day, still wishing you a prosperous 2009.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

Well here we are! January 1, 2009! That just blows my mind. Really, it does! Remember in 1999 the world was supposed to blow up or something like that. Nine years later and we're still here, pretty much doing the same stuff we were doing then, only with neater technology.

It has been a busy year. I'm back to working full time. It seemed like a good idea when I made the decision, but I'm beginning to feel like I'd like to not work: not part time, not full time, not any time. I blame the arrival of winter this year for that. I just don't want to scrape any more ice off my windshield and then freeze my bunns off while heading to work, ever again. I have promised myself that I will stop working in 2009. It's a promise I hope to keep.

My mom's battle with cancer in 2007 seemed to keep us all running. Her cancer exists but it is doing nothing but just sitting there. Not growing, not spreading... just sitting there. It has little to do with her health and she only goes to see her oncologist 2 times a year now. We saw these changes this year. It is good to not be making monthly trips to doctors and to labs for blood work and all those other tests that became a part of her life. Her big problems are the spinal spinosa (however you spell that) and the neuropathy in her legs. She misses being able to do all the things she did not that long ago. But she turns 95 this year and the doctors tell her she is doing great. She thinks that diagnosis is hilarious. "Great" to her would be doing all the stuff she was still to do when she was 80.

Through this year I have had reinforced in my life that God is good. We have had some setbacks but He has been faithful. I celebrate my belief in Him and am at peace having Him in charge. I look forward to this year. I believe it will be a year of new things; or maybe old things for me. I want to stir up the giftings God placed in me and return to doing the things that blessed me and blessed those lives I touched. It is going to be a good year.

So, everyone's not a jerk

2008-09-30T05:17:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning was not going well. I had a very busy to do list for the day and it just wasn't getting done as I'd hoped. The laundry was started with the first load in the dryer and the second washing away. I had enough time to cross off 2 more items and be back home in time for the last buzzer on the dryer. The two tasks: get the oil changed in the car (30 minutes) and pick up a couple items at the grocery story. Even a 30 minute stop is too long without a book so I grabbed mine (the Pillars of the Earth by Follet, not a book actually, but a tome, as in 937 pages long) and headed for the dealership.

When I arrived at the dealership, not much was going on. The place not busy and I was glad I'd gotten there when they weren't rushed. I completed the paperwork and sat down to read my book and was quickly lost is trying to balance a 95 lb book on my lap, keep my eyes focused, and follow the story line all at the same time. I must have succeeded. I read for a while, figured they must be about done and looked over at the bays and noted that my car wasn't there. I looked out the window just in time to see the mechanic sitting in the drivers seat. Yea! they're done. Then he did something odd. He backed my car up and drove it into one of the vacant bays. He wasn't finished, he had not even gotten started. Well, this stop was going to be more than 30 minutes, obviously.

But once they got started they quickly finished and that was the end of my quality reading time. I headed for the grocery store which was a long drive, uh... across the street. They have a great parking system which puts huge sign posts sunk in concrete right in the aisle which would be between the parked cars. This means that anyone leaving a cart there has blocked a customer from getting into or out of the store without walking all the way around the parking lot. I arrived to find the aisle blocked so decided to take the cart inside and put my groceries in it and then bring it back out and park it for someone else to use when they got there. Having finished my shopping I headed for my car to find that I was totally blocked in all directions and had to walk quite a bit out of my way to get to my car. I was really calling all the people in the world bad names and especially those who were buying groceries this morning and definitely those parked close to my car.

When I got my groceries out of the cart and into the car I was feeling much better about things. I pushed the now empty cart in front of my car so it would be out of the way for anyone wanting to use the aisle between the parked cars. The shopper, one of whom I had held uncharitable thoughts for because he had parked too close to me and made it impossible for me to get to my car, was pulling out his truck. He looked my way, blew his horn and yelled at me. I thought Mr Good Citizen was chastizing me for parking my cart where I had left it. I had one leg inside my car, laughed and waved at him and said "Yes, I moved it out of the way and left for the next person. Aren't I such a sweetheart?" I crawled on into my car and slammed the door. He looked at me, shook his head and drove off. "I'm not really a bad citizen" I thought. I checked the rear view mirrow, the sides then wondered that since the guy left, if I hadn't parked my cart right in front of my car I could have pulled through his empty space and not back out of my space at all. That's when I saw it. My purse. Still sitting in my cart. I just sat there and stared at it. Then I began to laugh and then I thanked God for the shopper who was not a jerk but had simply tried to tell me I was forgetting my purse.

His simple act made me feel better about the day and I left the parking lot with a grin on my face and said "Well, everyone's not a jerk" or something like that. well, maybe I used the "a" word. Just maybe. But anyway, I was smiling, so it was OK.

Back home and its reality time. I've been gone nearly 2 hours and the clothes are indeed dry. I do the necessary laundry chores then decide to forget the "to do" list. I chuck the chores and head for town. On a day like this a girl deserves to do a little shopping.

Dark?

2008-08-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Dark! The alarm buzzed at me and I swatted at it to stop its infernal racket! What happened? It's dark outside. It can't be time for the alarm to go off. I doze back off and shortly the buzzing begins again, I repeat above action, ignore the room and settle in for more comfort. Something triggers inside my drowsy head. Why is the room so gloomy? Why aren't the birds singing? It must be cloudy. We may be in for a fierce downpour. I don't remember one from the weather forecast. I look at my clock. Well, it's time to get up anyway. First job, check outside and see if we're in for a storm. No! It's just greying up. The sky is overcast, but not because of bad weather.

It's just dark out!
No!
Yes!
Damn It! It's dark out.

I always go into shock. I don't know how this happens. Why doesn't this slowly creep up on me. You know. The shortening of the days. I have been noticing that is is black by 9 at night, but getting up in the dark is something I hate. I hate going to work in the morning and the sky is not yet awake. In Michigan I love the long summer days when twilight lingers until 10pm and a pink haze hovers over the lawn in the early morning when I rise. But as fall draws closer the days shrink into nothingness and I am going to work in the gray and coming home in the gray and the only light I see peeks through my office windows. I hate that!

But its happening. Again. And so also are the trees preparing for the change in time. Already along the roadsides are maples that have decided that organge is the proper attire and are really pushing the season. I like my fall full blown in October. But there are always those few eager trees that change early. I have picked up a vivid orange leaf from my lawn. I have stared at it in dismay instead of wonder.

I say I love the changing seasons. I say that the color of fall is one of my favorite times of year, but always when it begins I greive for the loss of summer. For the heading out the door with no concern for a sweater or coat. I mourn the fact that I must be ready for that first day when my car will be covered with frost and I will need to SCRAPE my windows before going to work. Love the fall, love the smell, love the look. But it's beauty has its harsh side. Like the wicked witch in Snow White. Cunning, gorgeous, harbringer of bad things to come.

Alas, Alas! I woke up this morning and it was dark outside. Hello Fall. I will welcome you when you come, but I hope you catch a late flight in.

What a Day

2008-06-26T13:05:00.001-07:00

This morning began as a rather OK day. I was attending a seminar which dealt with a part of the assessing system here in Michigan that had changed completely while I was off being retired. I knew that I was going to have to become knowledgeable regarding land banks and the tax reversion process before the year was out. This would take care of it and all would be well.

Shortly into the class I began to fear that these properties had not been properly handled and that I was going to have a big mess to straighten out. Arriving back at work this afternoon, I began pulling files and going through them one at a time. By the time I had reviewed all the folders I had 5 separate stacks on my desk. Every stack had a problem and they were all different in how serious resolving the issue would be.

I called our support guru to just try to get it all sorted out. He began talking to me about the software program we use and how things should be coded for the system to work right. I began hearing a sound like pebbles were being thrown against my window. I looked up and said "It's hailing!" And it was. Hailing. It was storming! That's why it was hailing.

I tried to pay attention to my support dude, although I was a bit distracted, when the power went out. The computer screen went black and my phone connection was broken. The storm kept going. I decided I would not turn my computer back on during the storm. Instead I'd go upstairs where I could see better and look outside to see how bad this storm really was.

I got into the elevator and pushed the button. The door closed and then NOTHING! The elevator just sat there. I pushed the button again. NOTHING. I pushed the door open button. NOTHING. The elevator had not moved. I stood there for a few minutes. I waited. NOTHING. I realized I was STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR! I pushed the alarm button.

NOTHING. I waited. Someone would come. NOTHING. I waited some more. I pushed the alarm button again. For a long time. I just kept pushing it. I yelled a little bit. I beat on the door some. NOTHING. I pushed the alarm button again. for a long time. No one came. So, I decided I'd call on the phone. I picked it up and it was immediately answered by one of our public safety officers. He said they'd get me out. I hung up the phone.

In about 30 seconds the door opened. Wow! Those public safety officers are great. I stepped out and there stood John, a basement co-worker, grinning from ear to ear. "Was that you pushing the alarm button?"

"Why yes, I was stuck. Did you open the door for me?"

"No, I was just coming to see why the alarm kept sounding!"

Well, thank you very much John. I walked into my office and my assistant said "Were you stuck in the elevator? Was that you?"

"Yes!" yes, it was me!"

The lesson I've learned from this and am passing on to you... 1. don't ride elevators during storms. 2. if you get stuck in an elevator, don't push the alarm button, everyone will ignore you. 3. use the phone and call for help. Yes, call.
4. Yelling and beating on the door doesn't do any good. None at all.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Now, I'm going home and I hope this evening will be better.

I'm going on vacation next week. So there, everything wrong. You can just stay wrong for a while.

Good Night.

When can I?

2008-05-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

Spring has arrived and I am way beyond spring fever. I have luxuriated in the blossoming flowers and the canopy of leaves expanding over my head. I love this time of year.

I love drives in the country the the farmer's tracks across the tilled fields. The even lined fresh dirt awaiting seeds. The solid green earth mounds where winter wheat thrusts upwards looking like fresh manicured lawns. I love the flowering trees giving a hint of the fruit to follow. I love spring. I love the new life. So I am on a natural high.

But each morning (and Michigan is still jacket weather in the mornings)when I arrive at work, unlock the doors, switch on the lights, put down my purse and coffee and look at my window, I wonder how long, how long, before I can rip off the ugly black garbage bags duct taped down over my window.

That window houses the air conditioner. A necessary item at least a few months of the year. But more months of the year it is just an eyesore and in the winter the air comes around it with its icy fingers and turns my office into a refrigerator. I finally decided I'd had enough of chattering teeth and trying to type with my scarf wropped around my freezing fingers. Thus the cretive window scene developed and although my office was a bit on the chilly side, I could type without getting frostbite.

Those black garbage bags did a really good job. I appreciated them. But now, I just want them gone. Yet the heating system in the building is turned off until next fall and the morning temps here are still just a few degrees above freezing. With a brisk breeze my office can still make you think the space has turned into some type large commercial cooler.

I can stand it. The sunshine still pours through my windows and leaves its friendly glare over my monitor screen. I can stand it a few more weeks, but I shall be happy when it's gone.

Inspecting the Troops

2008-04-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

My Mom loves her flowers and each spring begins calculating what flowers she will get and what annuals to intermingle with her perenials to fill in all the blank spots along her fence row. My mom's yard is beautiful and enjoyable to sit and admire the hard work she puts into it.

Her hanging baskets are also a part of her plan in "landscaping" her 2 porches. We always buy a basket for her and so does my sister. She will usually pick up a couple additional baskets to hang with the ones we buy and my brothers will have baskets sent. Mom has room for 3 baskets to hang from her front porch. The color of the flowers are very important to her and she especially likes the cascading red geraniums. It is also VERY important that all the baskets hanging on her front porch be planted in the same color basket.

Mom will also create baskets from last year's gifts. She will buy impatients and "tunies" (uh, thats petunias) and mix them up in various colors to hang on her back porch. This porch is really a roofed patio. She has room here for at least 3 or 4 more baskets.

She has a window box planter under her kitchen window. This is always filled with petunias. They multiply and are quickly blooming and filling up the basket. She will just pick our a colorful mix.

Since she is no longer able to do all the work required to take care of her flowers she does not plant as many as she used to. She relies on Jamelah to help her get flowers planted. We always make a "Mother's Day" project of buying the hanging baskets and extra flowers to plant and spend time with Mom filling the extra baskets and Jamelah plants her window box.

Mom also has a circular flower bed in her front yard. This is a bare spot that was left by a tree which became a problem and had to be cut down. There are perentials that come up every year. A few tulips, daffodils, crocus and purple grape hiacinths. She also adds a few other flowers into the mix to fill in the spots when these spring flowers stop blooming.

With the early warmth you could tell Mom was already eager to begin planting. As we drove by the place wher ewe often bought our plants she noted that they were getting ready to stock their outdoor space with all the nursery plants that would be coming in. It will be fun. Spring is here. Its time to plant flowers.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Spring, Finally!

2008-04-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

We finally got to spring. In fact we had so much spring it turned into summer. For 10 whole days the temperatures were averaging 20 degrees above normal for this time of year which means we were up into the 70s and almost to 80. Gosh! It felt so good. I think it has to have made up a bit for all the crappy weather we had all winter. On days it didn't snow the sky was so gray you wished it would. But now, the grasss is green and needs mowing. The flowers have bloomed.

So what if we are back to normal temperatures for this time of year. Well, actully a little below normal temperatures. Yes, it is COLD outside. Ok, so we did have frost last night, but it's OK. I didn't have to scrape ice off my windshield before I could drive into work. So, I had to wear a coat. I have one and by lunch time I probably won't even need it. Today the sun is shining. Yeah, the air seeping in around my windows is chilling, but hey! I have sunshine. I can deal with it.

I just want to celebrate that this is SPRING! I feel like dancing. I feel like dancing a little jig of joy! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, finally. Spring.

Lovin' My Job

2008-04-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

Phone Rings...

I pick it up and the following conversation takes place

ME: Good afternoon. Assessing. This is Anne. May I help you?

SHE: Can you tell me which office this is?

ME: Assessing

SHE: Oh, Recessing. OK, then. I wondered if you could help me?

ME: I don't know. What did you need.

SHE: I want to know how I go about getting out of a contract.

ME: What kind of a contract?

SHE: A housing contract.

ME: I'm not sure I know the answer.

SHE: Can I just go down there and tell them to take my name off it?

ME: I don't know exactly the type contract you are talking about.

SHE: Do you think I have to get a lawyer?

ME: (flash of inspiration) Yes, I think that would probably be a wise choice.

SHE: So, you can't tell me?

ME: No, I'm afraid I don't have expertise in the area where you need advice. I don't think I am qualified to properly answer your question.

SHE: Then I should talk to a lawyer?

ME: Yes, that would be a good idea.

SHE: Uh, Ok then, goodbye.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I love my job. Why did I think I would ever like to retirement.

Grandma's Quilt

2008-02-09T07:22:00.000-08:00

Christmas was inviting us to a quiet, noneventful day. My nephew, Marty, and his wife Deb were driving north to spend Christmas with her family. It has been a while since they have spent Christmas away from home. Our Christmases are usually small anyway. Marty and Deb, Wendell (his brother), Mom, Jamelah and me. But we always have a lot of fun and laughter even if the group around the table is small. With two gone, that meant there would only be four of us for dinner.

We decided not to have the spiral sliced ham and opted for a nice roast, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad, fresh rolls and cherry pie. More than enough for four. And yes, we had plenty.

Mom had been telling me she hadn't bought me anything for Christmas. Which really didn't matter. Christmas long ago stopped being about the gift business. We had decided that even though our situation had greatly changed financially, we weren't going to go crazy this Christmas. I had bought Mom a new speaker phone, (she was having trouble using the phone in her living room since she had gotten her hearing aids). I bought one just like the one she has in her bedroom, so she wouldn't have to learn to use a "different" type phone than what she was used to.

Jamelah made her peanut butter fudge and we cooked the dinner. Roast beast and all except the mashed potatoes and cole slaw which Mom was making. I baked the cherry pies that morning and took the last one out of the oven just before we left the house. Nothing quite so good as warm pie, which it was; so warm in fact it burned our tongues and we all couldn't stop eating it. In no time we had put away an entire pie.

Then the gift exchange. Mom had been telling me that she was "regifting" this year or just giving away things that she had laying around the house. The first thing she handed me was a large brown mailing envelope. Inside was a zippered case for keeping documents in. I smiled and said "nice, thanks. I can always use something to keep things in", Looked at Jamelah, shrugged, grinned and whispered something just "laying around the house".

Jamleah opened her present and found the bracelets she had loved when she was a little girl. They had belonged Mom's Mom and Grannie had given them to her on her last visit with her. Jamelah always played with them as a little girl and always wanted to "keep" them. Now she can.

Then I discovered I had something else to open from Mom and found inside the package some of her jewelry. A coat pin that had been my Grandmother's and also a necklace that my father had given to my mom. I was touched and immediately hung the jeweled cross on a gold chain around my neck. It hasn't come off since.

Then, Mom brough out a large gift bag and handed it to me. Oh, dear, I wondered, what can this be: a centerpiece, something to hang on the wall. I looked inside and was immediately choked up. Folded there was my Grandmother's quilt. Like the jewelry she had given it to Mom on her last visit.

Now, the quilt is nothing extravagant, in fact, it wasn't made by my grandmother. She bought it at a church bazaar where they were selling quilts to raise monies for some project. Grannie had a big stack of quilts. She had tried to give me one when I had visited her at Christmas. I had felt uncomfortable taking a quilt from the stack. But, when Mom visited she insisted, so Mom picked out a quilt and took it home with her.

Mom had begun quizing me about what she had that I wanted as a remembrance. All I could think of, was I'd like to have the quilt that Grannie had given her. Now, on Christmas she has passed that quilt to me. I don't guess it is a family heirloom. But,it still meant so much to me. I couldn't help but tear up and feel overwhelmed. Mom said, "I don't see why you should wait until I'm dead to enjoy it." It now lays across the foot of my bed. At some point, I want to get a quilt rack and display it there. Someplace where it can be appreciated.

Mom made a quilt and gave it to my daughter for Christmas a couple years ago. Jamelah immediately brought it home and put it on her bed. It went away to school with her this summer. I thought her foolish to "use" this precious item, but I realized it was a special way to be "hugged" by her grandmother and she wraps up in it and feels its warmth. I learned from her that these gifts are to be appreciated and "used" not stored away as precious treasures but rather to be appreciated every day for the love they represent.

Now, I have a quilt given to my Mom by her Mom and someday my daughter will have that same quilt given to her by her Mom. I guess this is the way items become family heirlooms. So, I guess the quilt is one afterall. We have just begun a new tradition.

Ten Things I dislike strongly

2008-02-08T06:40:00.000-08:00

1. This winter

2. Emails with 5 paragraph forwarding instructions on the bottom, just in case I don't know in my address book who would be interested in this forward, or that I must send to 5 (10 better) or my eyes would go blind, may hair fall out, and I would be miserable. Wait! maybe there is something to that 2nd one.

3. Drivers talking on cell phones. I don't need to expand on this, seriously, do I? These people are always terrible drivers and should be ticketed for endangering the lives of others on the highway. However, is they run off the road and into a tree, well, I guess that would be OK.

4. People on cell phones in the grocery store asking what to buy and wheeling their cart around, blocking the isle, yeah, like the bad driver on a cell!

5. People with cell phones in the movie theatre. Honestly that tiny blue screen lights up the entire theatre. I don't know how. I've just seen it happen.

6. Well, maybe I just hate all people on cell phones in public, chatting away, for no good reason. That is, good reason, as defined by me. Reasons to use phone in public. (a)Letting someone know exactly where you are so you can meet or they can find the table in a busy restaurant. (b) an emergency And that's it! There are no other good reasons.

7. Gas prices that jump right while I am pumping gas and the price on the sign is WRONG. Yes, this has happened to me. I realize that gas prices jump up and down. So, when I go into the station I have accepted the price I will have to pay on the sign. When it turns out it is going to be more than that... well, I don't like that.

8. Being called on the phone during my lunch hour because they did not want to "bother" me at work. Come on! I have 30 minutes to eat this sandwich and get back to work. Don't call me now!

9. Having to do laundry. I don't hate washing clothes. It's an easy task. I just hate that I "have" to do it right now because I am currently out of something. You know, like jeans... or other stuff.

10. Did I mention this winter. Cause I really do hate it. The most. The very most.

The Weather's Wot Did The Old Gurl In!

2008-02-08T05:24:00.000-08:00

This is what people will say after my demise this season! But, the winter from hell, is what I nonaffectionately call it. I swear, this is one of the worst winters of my life. First off, we're told due to global warming its going to be milder. That's great! Milder I can handle. We have been having "milder" winters. So, I was expecting something along the lines of the last few winters.

Yeah! That is exactly what is NOT happening. Since the beginning of December we have had (brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)winter(brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr). Cold the weathermen describes as "arctic blasts" which is well said. Along with the "arctic blast" comes a foot of snow. Followed by 2 days of "mild" weather with rain and a couple thunder storms. Goodbye foot of snow. This "mild" weather is then followed by another "arctic blast" accompanied by another foot of snow; "and the beat goes on" but not in that soft, jazzy vocal voice, but in something a bit more AC/DC.

So, it isn't like we din't get a January thaw this year (this is a warm trend which lasts a week or 10 days and gets rid of all the ugly snow that has accumulated). It's like we got 4 January thaws and they only lasted 2 days each.

We were promised things would get better and we were looking forward to 4 days of uneventful, calm days. They took that all away with another "arctic blast" and 6 inches of snow; we were to get up into the low 30's yesterday. It never made it past 28. My office temp climbs all the way up to about 50. I come in freezing, I go home freezing.

All I'm saying is, I want spring.
I do not want to hear how you are suffering where you are because the temperature may drop down to 40, or that you will have to put on a sweater when you go out today because your high will only be in the mid 50s. Don't even tell me about it. If you talk to me, I suggest the subject topic of weather not even come up. Yes, that would be a good idea.

Now, I have to go build a fire in the corner of my office, because I'm freakin freezing in here.

Nice Pants!

2008-01-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

So, I have been having trouble with my knee and have begun injections which could help, maybe, I hope so, anyway. So, I began the shots last Monday and get another one once a week for 5 weeks. So, I'm 2 down.

It's not like they are fun. They have to spay the injection site about 5 minutes (or so it seems) with this stuff that freezes the area. Why? So, they can put a 3inch long needle in it to numb it (this is novacaine, like when you get your teeth pulled). Then they have to wait a minute and they take the real needle and find a spot between the bones in your knee and force this gelateneous goo into your leg (they get the goo from a rooster's comb. I call it chicken fat). So anyway, that is how you get chicken fat injected into your knee.

I have had this treatment 2 times before. Both on my right knee. It worked beautifully and put off the need for replacement surgery for a while. I'm hoping the results are that good this time.

However, I have diverged from my story. Sort of. I thought you needed to know why I was going to the doctor's office.

To make thinks faster, they advise you to wear shorts when you visit their offices. Well, I'm just stubborn enough that I don't wear shorts. I simply always wear attire that makes getting to my knee easy. But today, I was at work when I realized I needed to be able to pull my pants up above my knee or I would have to take them off. I tried, but alas, it would only pull up to about midcalf. That's when I knew I had to change pants before heading for the doctor.

This is what I wore to work. Black dress pants, black turtleneck and a rose/pink tweedy looking cardigan. I began thinking at work about what pants I could put on that would let me pull then up above my knee so I would not have to change everything I was wearing. Then I remembered these black knit pants I have that are rather stretchy, and I knew they were exactly the right thing to solve my problem. So I ran home switched pants and headed off to the doctor.

Arrived, lucky me, no wait, quickly got my shot and was on my way. I was feeling no pain, basically, so decided I'd go back to work instead of going home to rest. I pulled into my parking space, exited my car. Looked down at my feet and realized, OMG! Nice pants, Anne. Yeah, I usually sleep in these pants. Uh-huh. They are my pajama pants. I thought just a minute, then realized that absolutely nobody would notice. So I went right into City Hall. Pushed the elevator button and headed to my office.

This may be the most comfortable I have ever been dressed while at work.

From our town to yours

2007-12-09T14:52:00.001-08:00

Happy? Thanksgivings

2007-11-24T06:48:00.000-08:00

Well, Thursday came and went as did Black Friday.

Last year our entire family decided getting something close to the plague would be a good idea for the holiday. Mom even wound up in the hospital before it was all over. This year we thought it would be a good idea to not repeat that. However, Phyllis came down with pneumonia and I wound up with a severe cold. So we both stayed away from the family so as not to contaminate them.

Today, I am feeling a bit more human, and actually got up this morning and put the turkey breast I had bought for the feast on to cook. With the small bunch of diners at Mom's on Thursday, I got out of cooking it on then. They were quite content to dine on the ham that Deb brought. And I got the treatment because a big plate was brought home for me to eat. Not feeling good, but still holiday food is great, no matter the circumstances.

Phyllis and James both stayed home and Jamelah also took them goodies.

Jamelah had made her pumpkin cheesecake and bourbon sweet potatoes, so no one suffered from a lack of great food.

Hope you had a great holiday. Today, I'm thinking the worse is over and should be able to get back into the swing by the time work comes around on Monday. I had planned to work yesterday, but, ho hum, thought it wise to stay in. Yeah, sometimes you have to get sick to just stop for a bit.

So, here we are just aroud the corner from Christmas.

I'm not sure how it got here so fast, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.

No matter. Happy Holiday Season. Hope it is the best ever.

It Was a Happy Birthday!

2007-09-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday I arrived at my 66th birthday. I think I was a little surprised. I celebrated by taking back a job with the Assessing Department at the City (currently part-time) while still retaining (for now) my part time job as a church secretary!

WHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I couldn't help but smile at myself since I am "retired" yet, between the 2 jobs now working full time again. I guess I'm off my nut or something. I was really surprised to be happily headed back to my old office and desk (I retired 2 years ago) and although I seemed to be blundering through a fog at first, I soon found myself feeling at ease and recalling which keys to push to get the necessary results from the assessing software. I should feel at home with that stuff, I certainly used it long enough.

My daughter took me out for supper and we had a great time hanging out and enjoying the ambience of the steak house. It was great fun. We got back home a little after 9pm and after a few routine tasks I hit my recliner and turned on the TV. I woke up with a start at 10, realizing I was worn out. I did the bed time stuff and trundled off to bed. Altoether pleased with myself and feeling like a kid again, back to working full time. Is not that weird.

Anyway, Go Me! And Happy Birthday and all that jazz!

Happy Labor Day!

2007-09-03T06:05:00.000-07:00

Well here it is, Labor Day again. I'm not sure where the time went, but wherever it chose to vacation, it has definitely flown.

Jamelah finished here summer course in Arabic at U of M with high marks. She has since found a program that begins there next June. After completion (1 yr) she will have her masters and a elementary teacher's certification. With 3 more hours of class (which she can do next summer) she will also have her certification to teach English as a 2nd language. She is excited. Now the job hunt begins.

She decided that since she would be hanging out around the house with not much to do, she'd paint her room. So we bought paint and she got busy. There was plenty of grief along the way but the room is mostly finished with just a few touch-ups needed. Her Grannie offered to purchase new carpet for her freshly painted room, so before she could move back in, we had to get carpet laid. This meant she got to sleep some more on her mattress lying on the living room floor.

By the time the carpet guys arrived, Jamelah I had already taken Jamelah to the doctor due to muscle spasms in her back. She was a mess. He put her on muscle relaxers and pain killers and she gave up the floor as a sleeping place and moved into my recliner. It only took a couple days of that fun and she was wishing she could just die and get it over. She began showing some improvement on Thursday. The carpet was in; her uncle came and helped het her furniture moved back into her room. She was finally able to sleep in a bed. Friday we were off to the chiropracter's office and he helped realign her which helped more. But still, the only place she could sit was in the recliner, so she moved from chair to bed and back to the chair agian with only short walks around the house between.

That put the job search on hold and everything else. We spent one week watching nearly every movie we own and renting a few more. But yesterday she was much improved and able to get around a bit more. I think she finally feels like she will not be drawn over sideways and her hips out of alignment forever.

So here we are! Ready to celebrate Labor Day. I have some laundry to do. Hopefully, Jamelah can get a bit of her "other" stuff moved from the piles it sits in about the house and we can get back to normal.

The Storm

2007-08-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Last night the National Weather Service interrupted our fine TV viewing and directed us to channel 11 where we were informed that we were directly in the path of a very severe thrunderstorm. They even told us the exact minute we could expect it to hit! What they didn't tell us was at that very moment, right over our heads a tiny cell had formed and in five minutes would wreak all kinds of havoc.

My first thought was "they sure were wrong about the time that thing was hitting." But, when I rechecked the weather, I found the "real" storm was still coming: what had just hit us was a very tiny red dot on the doppler radar screen and it was moving on easterly. In its short visit it split a tree limb from the giant oak in front of our neighbor's house and left it still attached and precariously dangling all the way down into the street. Drivers seem to think this limb would not fall on them and just kept going around it.

I called Public Safety and they said they would have the Street Department up to take care of it. Then the Natinal Weather Service went beserk again and, whamo! the real storm hit. Our power blinked on and off. The transformer on the pole in front of the house buzzed and hummed and made me nervous. The lights would dim and brighten. The winds were horrid. The rain hitting the street in front of the house seemed to come from one direction and then from another. The lightening and thunder were fierce. Then as quickly as it arrived it was over.

Our lights were still on. I was amazed. We have lost power twice this summer in much smaller weather disturbances. But, even so, we lost our cable. We plunked a DVD into the player and ingnored the calamaty.

We had expected the limb next door to be removed by morning, but to my surprise it was still dangling. Police tape stretched from the light pole to a tree across the street entirely closing off the end of my drive. A traffic barricade had been placed in the middle of the road. I throught by careful manipulation, I'd still be able to back out of my drive, get around the barricade and make it into work. I was right. However, I felt just a little bit like I was being naughty and should get arrested, or something.

I was surprised to see many trees down. At the post office I learned that the southern half of our town had no electricity. The business loop from 94 was also without power. No McDonalds for hungry travellers this morning. I began to wonder if the church had power (the church where I work as secretary lies just north of the I-94 exit) into town. Happily, when I arrived I found all well at the church and everything working splendidly.

A few people have dropped by the office with chatter about the storm and about what happened to them. A small group was meeting last night, but although the electirical system crackled and popped, they said they never lost any power. That was a real blessing.

Hopefully, by the time I get home this afternoon, the tree will have been removed and I will have easy access to the drive again. However the last person to drop in said they still had no power to the gas stations, grocery store and fast food franchises on the main drag. I guess this Friday night I'll have to make my own pizza.

Service Provider

2007-07-09T16:25:00.000-07:00

Aha! Has language changed so much that in the last few years the meanings of words are totally reversed from what they used to mean. "Service Provider" you'd think would be a company providing you a service you were willing to pay for. But, since becoming a cell phone user I have learned that a "Service Provider" is actually a company you pay way too much money, who in turn provides you with a brain aneurysm every month when the bill arrives. I bet if I really wanted an aneurysm, I could manage one nicely without paying Sprint for it.

My bill came today. My brain is still muddled from the 1 hour ++++ I spent on the phone using obscenities when I was sure no one was there and adversely hoping they were taping my entire tirade so they'd be sure to know how pissed off I was and how often I repeated "I hate these people, I hate these people, I hate these people, I hate these people.

In all fairness, perhaps I went into the cell phone "contract" with a negative attitude. Anyway, I hope it is only this experience that makes me wonder if I'm not turning into a conspiracy theorist. I really don't want to find myself an aging bitter old hag who trusts no one and believes in nothing, but I having serious doubts about myself in this respect and about my future. Now, before I joined the program, I asked a few people about their service provider was and one phrase I heard more than once was "billing horror stories". It seemed that no matter which company you might choose you would wind up in war with them once you became a customer.

Now, I have had a reliable Track phone for a few years. It is prepaid and worked just fine for my usage. Every few months I'd add minutes while rolling over the unused ones. I averaged paying about $10-15 a month. Not bad. I rarely turned the thing on and only used it when it was "necessary". My daughter also had a prepaid phone account with Virgin. She, however, used her phone a lot and it had begun to wear out. She knew she needed to replace it and approached me regarding getting another phone. Well, my phone was definitely "not cool" and it didn't text message nor have a camera or cool games, you know, the stuff that made having a cell phone really "neat".

So, the weekend before Jamelah moved off to Ann Arbor we stopped in at a Sprint store (it was a Saturday and the store in our community was closed) in Jackson. The phones were neat. I got a pink metallic Katana and Jamelah picked out a blue razor. We paid the $198 to get us going and walked out of the place grinning. We had a family plan with unlimited, no roaming, fees and free nights and weekends. Plus for $20 extra we added the family plan for unlimited text messaging. We were now super cool chicks.

Two weeks later I received my first bill. Uh-huh! I hadn't had the phone long enough to recharge it and I had my first bill which was exactly $50 more than it was supposed to be. I had my first long distance, "on hold" forever experience. We finally got everything straightened out, I thought, and the guy was just taking care of the final details when the phone went dead. I thought it was no biggie, until yesterday when I got my second bill.

This time the bill was exactly$130 more than the amount I was guaranteed would be my monthly total. Seriously, $75.00 charged for overages. I could not figure that out. We had 500 minutes to use between the 2 of us and at the end of the month still had time left over. What was this overage business? Furthermore, the adjustments they were going to make, weren't adjusted and they had added an additional fee for activating my phone. What... I had already paid for the activation of the service.

Well, I was justifiably angry. You bet. So the ordeal began. I won't go into all the nitty-gritty. I actually don't want to do a blow-by-blow account. I'd probably curl up into a ball again and start babbling and crying in frustration. I tried really hard to remain calm while on the phone, keep a quiet voice and not call anyone names. Now it was easy not to call the young lady on the phone bad names. She was actually a sweetheart. I think, no matter how much she is being paid, it isn't enough. I wouldn't take her job on a bet.

We eventually reached an understanding. A few adjustments were made to my bill (I hope), some costs erased (or so she said, but I'll wait for the next one to arrive) and see just exactly what charges are made. Needless to say, I have decided that cell phone companies are simply the latest "conn" game going with their programs that their employees can't wade through, their salespeople can't stay on top of and the poor customer can't survive without going into shock regularly. I empathize with the employees while wondering why with the speed of technology they are unable to keep up with their own stuff and make the customer feel valued instead of used and abused.

Whatever, what I really want right now, is my track phone back with its prepaid minutes, handy in my purse for me to pull out and use at my convenience. That is what a cell phone is for. This other stuff, might be good for the kiddies but I really think it may cause people my age's brain to explode.

AN ADDENDUM: After 3 phone calls, many tears and much persuasion, I happfily announce that I have finally made peace with Sprint. My last bill was exactly what I had calculated it to be and there were no new surprises and no new hidden charges. I'm not sure why this is so difficult and why it had to be such a hassle. I'm just glad that for now the war has ended. Now, excuse me. I have a lot of talking to do on my cell phone. I have all kinds of minutes to use up!

Identifying with the boweavil

2007-06-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

That's right, the boweevil.

You know the one, don't you?

The one from the song... remember

"looking for a home
trying to find a home"

Yeah, that one!

No, not me. At least not right now. I'm not looking for a home, but I'm looking for a temporary home for my Mom.

She's doing great, although this whole experience has not been a fun event for her. She has been in the hospital over a week and still not allowed to eat. I mean really eat. And for most of the days the only thing she has been allowed to put in her mouth is ice chips. Drat. Can you imagine. Mom has always been tiny, but we may have to start hunting for her among the blankets.

Things were going good for a while and they had introduced her to a liquid diet at the end of last week, but things seemed not to be going through. So they took away her jello and broth and put her back on the ice chips, just as a precaution, in case they would have to take some type action. After 2 days of tests they have given her the jello back again, so hopefully, that means they will not have to take do intrusive treatment.

That means we are back on schedule. They have been expecting to release her from the hospital tomorrow or Friday. I'm guessing later since she will have to be eating solids and handling them before they send her out. But, she will not be able to go home. So we have been looking for a respit care facility for her to stay for a couple weeks until she can get her legs back under her and get around a bit. ...then home to where we can take care of her.

I've made a few calls and the Social Services employee at the hospital has been working on finding a care facility for Mom. We have a couple spots available and now she just has to choose one. The one is here in Albion, although she has always been adamant that she would never go there. Ownership and care in this facility has changed a lot over the years and she may actually opt to spend a couple weeks here. The other place open is in Jackson which would be a bit of a commute and difficult for her friends to visit. In the meantime they will keep her on a list for a place in Marshall, which was her first choice.

We will see how it all works out.

In the meantime, I just can't get that humming sound out of my head..............

uhhhmmmmmmmmmm.... looking for a home, trying to find a home.....uhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm

come on, hum with me.

addendum

well, all that humming paid off. Social Services just called to let us know that a spot became available at Tendercare in Marshall. This was the place she had wanted to go but they did not have any space. So, looks like we've found a home. Last word is Mom will be released tomorrow or Friday. Please continue to keep her in your prayers.

Painting a bleak picture

2007-06-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

Mom fell. My daughter found her when she dropped by to take her to the clinic for her weekly blood work. Mom said her "legs just gave out". She was calling Jamelah when she fell but the call was incompleted. The phone remained on the counter and she could not reach it.

Mom has a medic alert bracelet and she pushed the button. We don't know if the distress signal was not completed because her phone was off the hook, but she tried repeatedly to get up, reach a phone and was left completely helpless until Jamelah arrived. She had been lying there about 30 minutes.

Once Jamelah was there she hung up the phone and tried to call 911 but the medic alert system had Mom's phone blocked. Luckily she had her cell phone with her and was able to get help. About that time the medic alert system kicked in and the asked if help was needed.

The ambulance was soon on the scene and checked Mom out carefully. Thankfully no broken bones, indication of a stroke nor a heart attack. She was very weak and unable to move on her own so they transported her to the hospital and we met her there.

It turned into a very long night. The ER was packed out and the staff was rushing about trying to help everyone. For Mom, the testing began. She had bloodwork done, an xray, ekg, cscan.. and I don't know what all. They were concerned she had pneumonia but because she complained of a sore stomach and was very sensitive when touched they checked her gall bladder. Bingo! She had a severe infection and they admitted her to the hospital.

The next day the doctors began their visits. It was determined that she would need surgery as quickly as possible. That takes place today. Last night we met with the doctor and he very carefully explained all the obstacles Mom faces as she goes into surgery. He seemed to tick them off on his fingers beginning by saying

"...at your mother's age she is very delicate anyway..." then added she has a bad heart (pacemaker implanted last year) breathing problems, low platelet count and it seemed his list of defects was endless. He wound up saying that with all the complications there was a possibility that Mom might not make it through surgery, (a possibility) and a probability that she would have a very difficult time in recovery after surgery. His expectation was that she would be admitted to ICU from the recovery room.

He around at us waiting for our reaction. We just looked back. Then he again wanted to stress the seriousness of the situation.

"Well," I said, "we believe. There are a lot of churches and people praying for Mom. So, we will believe. She is in God's hands." He just smiled.

and Mom said, I've got at least 3 churches praying for me now. Since then the number has grown to... oh, I don't know, about 7. Four people have emailed me today to let me know they are putting Mom on their church prayer list. What more could we want. We have a great hospital a good doctor and all this faith surrounding her.

No matter how bleak the picture the doctor had to paint to just prepare us... she is in God's hands and we will believe.

The Beginning

2007-05-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

Many years ago I was looking for something fun to do with my daughter for her birthday. By now, I don't remember what year that was. A co-worker recommended I take her to Ann Arbor to a very special delicatessen for lunch and spend some time hanging out at Kerrytown Mall (not the typical, but a very special place all housed in one old style building). So, we did.

Ann Arbor, despite it's size and the fact that it houses a campus community of many thousand students right in the middle of it, has a unique small town ambiance about it. It is a fun place to hang out with lots of interesting shops to wander around in. It was the beginning of something we'd do once in a while just for the fun of it and because sometimes you just need to go to Zingermans.

My daughter loved Ann Arbor. It was a town where she always wanted to live. Well, finally, she has rented a spot in Ann Arbor and next Friday, June 1, her lease begins and she will be moving in. She is excited and scared to death all at the same time.

Jamelah has signed up to take a 10 week course in Arabic (1 year of the language crammed into 10 short weeks). When she began considering that she might take the class we had a really good feel about it. This seemed to be a good direction for her to take her life. So, she applied, got accepted and began figuring out a budget that would get fees paid and expenses for the period she would be there. Once the plan began to take shape she resigned her job. This made it really final, but there was no need to hang onto a position, that only provided a small income, but did not provide any hope for the future. Sometimes it was a bit intimidating, but always we felt an assurance that this was a step that God wanted her to take and that He would provide for her as she walked out in faith.

I will be babysitting Sweet Pea since she couldn't find a sublet where she could take her "baby" with her. Ann Arbor is a short 45 minute drive from home and I'm sure she will be coming home to see us and do fun stuff like laundry.

It seems strange to think that "my baby" will be leaving home. Her only time away was the semester she spent in Venice. Somehow, I think this is the beginning of her life adventure. Looking for that something she can pour herself into. I am praying and hoping for doors and opportunities to open for her. It is the beginning. Or maybe, the beginning was that Saturday years ago when we spent the day hanging out in Ann Arbor and eating at Zingermans.

Those Little New Hope Critters

2007-05-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned that I work part time as a church secretary. I rather like the job, but some weeks, Pastor will be attending a conference or whatever and it gets really "quiet" around here.

I was having one of THOSE quiet weeks, when I started getting a creepy sensation along my neck. You know the feeling, the hairs stand up and you have cold chills. I knew I wasn't alone anymore. Now, I'm not psychic or anything. I had proof I wasn't alone. That proof was the constant patter of tiny feet in the ceiling tiles just over my head.

"Oh Crap!' I thought. It must be a mouse up there. Our church is located in a rural setting (just outside city limits) and mice peering out around things is not uncommon. They don't usually come into my office, though, unless we're beginning to be over run by them. One gentleman in our church is an exterminator and a couple years ago he began providing the church with his services after a winter where the church was over run with mice. I haven't seen one since that winter nor any tell tale signs that they are lurking about.

So... anyway, there is a mouse running around in the ceiling tiles over my head. I backed my chair up and peered at the ceiling over my desk trying to see where a weak point might be, just in case, the critter should drop through and fall on top of my head. After a thorough inspection of the ceiling I decide that the mouse is not going o fall on top of me and decide to get back to work. I'm quite successful at it for a while, but every once in a while that pitter/patter sound still gave me the creeps.

Then the sounds went from "pitter/patter" to "What the heck." Now and then there would be a loud kerplunk, followed by a thunk/thunk sound, then skittering noises and then...

and then...

I decided, WAIT! This can't be a mouse. It's making too much noise. It must be a squirrel. Another scenario with which I am familiar since my home at one time was frequently invaded by squirrels. However, they seldom got beyond the attic part of the house, so although I heard them, I never saw them. We had a huge walnut tree that shadowed the rear of the house and our back porch. In the fall you'd swear the squirrels were using those walnuts for bowling balls as you could hear the nuts rolling down over the roof. Finally, 2 years ago we cut that tree down. I love trees. But that one really made a mess and one year a fallen walnut even broke my daughter's windshield. So, I haven't missed that tree. But, it did give me experience w/the sound squirrels make, but I digress. Back to the church!

So, OK, then. Not a mouse. Probably a squirrel. It is spring. Nesting time for all God's creatures and I decided the louder noises were just the little buggers moving the furniture into a more comfortable arrangement. Not happy about that, but figured as long as they don't come through the ceiling it will wait until the next day when Pastor will be back.

My 4 hrs up... I went home leaving the nesting squirrels to their own devices until the next day. I decided to email pastor and let him know we had been invaded just in case he dropped by the church before morning. I tried to be cute and told him that the sounds over my head sounded like they were dragging around dead bodies, so just in case I didn't show up the next day, he'd want to investigate the tiles over the office of the church and see if you could find me tied up there.

Next morning I got to work on time, peeking carefully around my door, wondering if anything is going to run at me. Nothing did. So I entered, dropped my stuff on the desk, rounded it and bent over to turn on my computer. "Swoosh" over my head. I stood up thinking, OH. MY. GOD. THAT. HAS. TO. BE. A. BAT.

I'm not going to get all carried away here, but bats give me the heebee-jeebies. I stood up and found myself eye level with a lovely little sparrow which had lit on the top shelf of my work station. Swoosh! Off it flew. Into pastor's office.

I followed in into Pastor's office and it was clearly distraught, flying at the windows trying to get out. I tried to open the outside door to his office but it has a deadbolt lock and there wasn't a key around. So, then I tried opening the windows. I finally got them open, then ran for the door between our offices and slammed it. I was hoping the bird would find its way out. I stood listening as the poor creature flew around in there bumping into things.

I went back to my office and email pastor (since he enters his office through the outside door) to watch out for something flying at his head. Then I decided I'd better try to get some work done. That's when I noticed the noise in his office had stopped.

I carefully opened the door and peeped in, then walked and looked everywhere but couldn't see the bird. I listened and heard the familiar chirping sound but it was not coming from just outside the opened window. I quickly shut windows so the little guy couldn't get back in and breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

A few minutes later Pastor arrived ready to do whatever needed to be done to get the bird out of our office. I told him all was well and the creature had left.

Then I asked him why the creatures only showed up when he was out of town. "Well," he said, "You know what they say; when the boss is away the creatures play!"

Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's right!

Wait! Does My Job Description Cover This?

2007-03-09T07:24:00.000-08:00

A wintry mess, mistakenly called "wintry mix" by the weatherman dropped sleet which quickly turned the roads to ice then nicely turned into a white wonderland of snow on top of the slick. I was sure I'd not get into work that morning, but luckily I was able to extract the car from the 4in of snow over ice and make it in.

As I turned into the church drive, I saw our youth pastor's car had slid off the side of the drive and was just sitting there. Poor kid, I thought. It's not like that hasn't happened to me a time or two. It just goes with driving a car in the winter in Michigan.

I crept around the circular drive and parked, hearing my name being called, as I opened the car door. I looked around for the source of my name. I'm old enough now to know it wasn't God hailing me from the heavens. Pastor and James (our youth pastor) were coming towards me with a plan.

"Drive your car back up to where James's car is and park off to the side" pastor instructed me. "Then you steer his car and James and I are going to push it out."

I'm game, I thought. So, I crawled back in and crept my car back up the slicky drive and parked "out of the way". Just so you know. The "wintry mix" is still coming down. And it is more ice than snow and more rain than ice... and it is awful. I crawl out of my car, now totally soaked through, which is OK, because I've just got hit by a laughing fit. Pastor and James are standing in knee deep snow in front of James's car patiently waiting for me, and I'm doubled over... laughing my head off.

"As soon as I get back to the office, I'm checking my job description to see if this is covered in it!" I gasp out through laughter, not sure if the wet on my cheeks is tears from laughing so hard or the freezing rain. Pastor informs me that it is covered and actually, I should be pushing and he should be steering, but he's not going to make me do that on this particular morning.

So, I gather my wits and get on with the job at hand. I start up the car,
the guys push...
and we go through the routine twice.
No luck.
The tires are just over the blacktopped surface and keep digging themselves deeper into the soft earth.

Pastor stretches face first down on the wet drive so he can get a better look under the car. I look at my spiritual leader and understand why I am willing to follow this man. God bless him. He rises to his feet and announces that the business is futile. We will have to call a tow truck. So, we all head back inside. I offer the guys a ride in my car to get them out of the weather but they both refuse. What would be the point at this time.

I head for the lady's room and have a look at my drowned head and wonder why I don't keep a comb. With paper towels I get myself as dry as possible and try to arrange my hair the best I can. It turns into some type spiked hairdo... and I decide that it's cool that way. I wish I had the courage to wear it like that all the time. What fun.

And what a fun way to start a day's work. The rest of the day was pretty ordinary from there on out.

What! Jury Duty!!!! Not Again.

2007-02-21T08:44:00.000-08:00

5 times. Honestly. I have been called for jury duty five times. The last time, about 3 years ago, I figured my jury duty days would not come around again. Once you hit retirement age they let you say "no". Well, I got the papers, again! and read them... and they have raised the age to 70 where you can say "no" and guess what. This is one of those things you can't "just say no" to. They threaten you with arrest, officers beating your door down and jail time for contempt, if you don't show up on your appointed days.

Now, most of the people I know have NEVER been called to do jury duty. Believe me, I ask people this question. That's right. And 2 times before this one, I wasn't the only juror there questioning why they were repeatedly called. When asked for a show of hands as to how many had been called more than once, at least 1/3 of the room raised their hands. Then, the jury boss went into this long explanation how names are selected randomly. What I want to know is how I get to be random so often and many people don't get to be random once. Does this seem fair to you? Bah!

I know I should feel honored to have an opportunity to do my "civic duty" but I just don't anymore. And I probably shouldn't complain, I have been through this process enough to know how to answer the questions to make sure I am not one of the selected few. They do pay us, sort of. $12.50 per 1/2 day and reimburse us for gas at 10 cents a mile. Hey, I could call this my second job, right! Especially with that kind of money to be made. Oh, give me a break. I'm too old for this stuff.

I really hate the inconveninece of having to crawl out of bed early, drive 26 miles in whatever kind of weather is hitting us that day, and then sit around and drink bad coffee and wish I was some where else. I have learned to take a book and a bottle of water (although, new letter says we aren't alowed to bring beverages with us).

I know it will be fun. I can't wait. Oh Drat! Why didn't they send a letter to one of those people who thought sitting on a jury would be interesting. Everyone needs to learn it really isn't.

Oh.... welll.... I wish I could say I felt better after getting that off my chest, but honestly. I don't.

Mom Update

2007-02-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

Winter was such a good thing this year, then all of a sudden, for no reason, it got really mean. Our temperatures have dropped to subarctic and we are freezing up here. But, life goes on, and I comfort myself with words that it can't last long. Spring is just around the corner. But, just for the record, it has already lasted too long. And even though the temperature is climbing all the way up to a high today of 17, maybe, well, that just isn't good enough. I want to see some ice melting, dad gum it.

Even if freezing, we still have to keep on with the routine, so yesterday was Mom's doctor day. She had appointments with her oncologist, Dr. Shen, and her primary care physician, Dr. Byrens. She had blood work done last week and x-rays made, so we were ready to hear how things were going.

Dr. Shen was first and he is a talker. Although Mom's platelet count is dropping (92,000) and is considered "abnormal" is is still fine. The test they run to determine the size of her tumor, shows that it is shrinking. A good thing, having gone from a 10 at the time of surgery down to an "8". I'm not sure what those numbers mean, but Dr. Shen seemed very happy with the report. Mom seems to have recovered from her pneumonia and is feeling better than she has in a long time. She returns to Dr. Shen on the 6th of March.

Dr. Byrens also was pleased with the way Mom is doing. He was very encouraging and said since she was doing so well, she would not need to return for 6 months. This puts her new appointment into August. SHe was quite tickled about this, mentioning that she would be almost 93 before she went back to see him again.

She wondered why no one was saying much about surgery anymore, but Dr. Shen had said they would review that in the spring. So for now, all is well and Mom is doing great and we are hoping to continue getting these good reports.

Fun In The Snow

2007-01-28T11:04:00.000-08:00

We were warned we might get some of the lake effect snow here in central Michigan, although we wouldn't get it like those west of us. When I got up it was snowing which was no surprise. When I took Sweet Pea out for a walk, it was not snowing...it was blizzarding. The snow was falling so thick and heavy, I was glad I was not out on a road somewhere trying to get to some place else.

We talked it over and decided we'd probably stay in for the day. By breakfast time, although the snow had slowed, we had a good six inches on the ground. Since my shoulder surgery, I can't manage a snow shovel so that meant Jamelah would have to do the heavy work. It was left to me to go outside and clean off the cars. The snow was light and airy and moving it was easy. Jamelah took Sweet Pea out to play in the snow before she began shoveling. I had one car cleared off when I saw a guy with a blade on the front of his truck plowing out the neighbors drive. I figured it was a good idea to have him come over and plow us out. He said "sure" and we got the cars moved and in 10 minutes he had all of Jamelah's work done.

Nothing left to do but celebrate. Jamelah went out to play catch with Sweet Pea (she loves catching snow balls, go figure) and I ran in to get my camera. I had a feeling there would be some fun pictures to take. I was right about that. Now it looks as one point that the dog is trying to eat Jamelah's head, but I assure you that no people were harmed in the making of this slide show. It could have happened, sure, but it didn't.

I had to go to the store and had told Mom to let me know what she needed and I'd pick up her things. She called back later and said for me not to stop. She didn't want anything from the store and she DID NOT want me to drive into her driveway. Her neighbors had shoveled it clean and she wanted to keep it that way. Well, OK then.

That's just so you'll know that Mom is doing fine. We went to visit the neurologist last Wednesday and his diagnosis regarding the "heaviness" in her leg was that she has neuropathy. He also wanted to get a scan of her lower back and we will have that done tomorrow, but won't get the report back until later this month. Aside from that, Mom is feeling better than she has in a long time and is enjoying her independence more. She likes being able to do for herself.

So all is well on this wintry day in Michigan. Enjoy the slide show as you watch Sweet Pea eat Jamelah's head (although, not really). Click on fun below for show. Because the slideshow moves quickly it is good to set the speed at the slowest possible speed to see clearly, well, at least on my computer, it may be different on yours.

fun

5 Things You Didn't Know About Me (a meme)

2007-01-22T13:02:00.000-08:00

I love reading these things but am bad about doing them... but since Caryn tagged me, I'll do my thing. So here goes...

Five Things You Didn't Know About Me (I think)

1. I love to design and make clothes. When "the kid" was small, I did this a lot. My greatest creation was the flower girl dress she wore to my neice's wedding. At that time we just didn't buy stuff new. But since I was "gifted" I could pretty much look at something, find a pattern with similar basic lines, and tailor make clothes for my daughter. She had really neat outfits when she was growing up. I made costumes for her school plays, her prom dress, and usually a new outfit in the fall for her birthday. She had a thing back then and thought she should always get a new red dress for her birthday. Anyway, here is the flower girl dress.

We still have it.

2. Caryn mentioned the bridges thing. And along with that, I'm rather squeamish when it comes to heights, too. I rather die on parking ramps if I'm past the 2nd level. There is something flip/floppy that starts happening inside my internal organs, and then I start getting light headed. I guess the technical term for this is "panic attacks". Well, whatever! It sure is uncomfortable. Now, I handle heights better when I have solid ground under me (like on top of mountains); but tall buildings, and those stupid glass elevators. Whoever came up with that idea anyway? I even have trouble with motion sickness in theatres when they are doing that swoopy scene thing from up high, I have to close my eyes. Isn't that the silliest thing?

3. My age. I mean that's something about me not every one knows, because most people think I'm younger than I look. Yeah, the deal is to list 5 things you DON'T know about me. IT doesn't say I have to tell you what my age really is, now does it?

4. I have a bachellor's degree. That's right I do. I attended college and graduated with a BA degree in theology. Because I am not the preacherly type most people are rather surprised by this. I worked most of my life in an office setting. However right out of college I taught Theology and English at a small Indian Bible school in Phoenix, Arizona. I stopped teaching when I married at the "old maid" age of 28. After my husband died I did not go back to teaching but instead worked in the "real" world and have stayed there.

5. I still love to teach. I just don't have the opportunity to do so right now. But teaching is my most favorite thing to do. I taught in church settings until recently and now am the church secretary. But, I would like very much to have an opportunity to teach Biblical truths again. My special interest is digging into theological concepts. Yeah, that's fun. Really it is. Enjoy setting around the table and just talking about these truths that are so vital to me. You see, I really do believe that God is real, that He likes me a lot and enjoys hanging out with me.

Ice Storm

2007-01-18T16:22:00.000-08:00

Well, the weatherman told us it was going to be awful. Imagine my surprise when I awakened on Monday morning and realized it wasn't horrible at all. I was NOT iced in, so without further ado, I had no choice but to head off to work. I arrived in good form... ready to tackle the day's chores. But alas, despite the clear roads, the ice had knocked out the power and I had no phones and no heat, so put my coat on, and sadly (ahem) headed back home.

I did note on my way there and back that several large trees were down on the route, but things didn't seem awful or anything. I got home and we decided on ice storm days you watch Pride & Predjudice, so we began. We were really getting into it when our lights went out. Then back on. Then out. then back on. out. on. out. on
OUT! OUT! OUT! No! This can't be any fun. I called my Mom. Her lights were also out.

My daughter decided to start a big pot of soup, since we couldn't do anything else and it would help keep the house warm. (We, have gas cooking which is a blessing in power outages). So, we pulled out our crocheting and went to work and chatted and decided it was not so bad, anyway. After an hour I called Mom again and asked her to come over to our house. She has an electric cook stove and I thought she must be getting cold. She decided to just stay snuggled under a blanket, sure the power would be back on soon.

Well, after a couple more hours, we were beginning to wonder just when the power would be back on. I called Mom again, but she was determined to wait it out. We decided to call the power company for one of those automated messages so we would at least have an idea as to how long we would be waiting in the dark. The message said the power would be back on by January 16th at 11:59 pm. HOLD ON! That would be the next day! I called Mom and told her to pack her little bag. She now had no choice. She would have to abandon the cold comfort of home and head to our house. This time she relented.

I returned home from picking up Mom to find the house feeling warm and cozy with the warm light of our "way too many" uncounted candles. They twinkled from every flat surface. The soup was done and the aroma made us unwilling to wait; and why should we. IT was already supper time. We settled around the table with out soup bowls and hot garlic bread and ate by candlelight and Mom told us stories of the good old days. It felt like this really was a good old day and we just enjoyed ourselves.

After clearing away the table we began wondering what we could do all evening to keep ourselves entertained and settled for scrabble or more stories. When all of a sudden... ON... the lights came back on. then off. Then on... then ON! And this time they stayed on. I managed to convince Mom to sit a while until her house would have a chance to warm back up... so we watched the weather channel to learn how "not so bad" we had it when so many were worse off then we were. We were glad we would not be 2 days without lights.

I took Mom home and came back to see the Golden Globe dress splendor. And, as usual the gowns were awesome; the jewelry outstanding. It's always fun to see the glamor. But it wasn't nearly as glamorous as the scenery the next day. The ice storm turned everything magical and Tuesday dawned sunshine bright turning everything into crystalized splendor. Not even the camera could catch the prisms of color dancing from electrical wires and chain link fences. It is totally awesome. Here are some pictures. We spent the afternoon trying to catch forever the day and wound up in our favorite place along the banks of the Kalamazoo River. Enjoy.

Winter Ice Storm, 2007

If you want to see the pictures in more detail, simply click on the link "Winter ice storm 2007" above and it will take you to the full album.

Mid Winter Ramblings

2007-01-13T05:36:00.000-08:00

Well, there's not much to report, but "not much to report" is a good thing.

We had Mom's checkup with the oncologist, Dr. Shen, this past week. He shared that her blood count (hemaglobin) was at 14 (very good) her platelets were at 99 (dropping still), and her bone scan shows that the cancer is still inactive.

She has complained with heaviness in her legs and stated that they seemed better. Dr. Shen said this is a side effect of the predazone and since she is not off the drug she will probably continue to improve.

The doctor stated that much of her symptoms are simply signs that her body is wearing out and are not cancer related. She will need to accept that she must be cautious and take things easier from here on out and not plan to plant a full flower garden in her yard every year.

But spring is down the road and Mom does love her flowers. Hopefully we can help her get a least some of her planting done so she can still be proud of her yard. I'm not much good, except for encouragement purposes, but Jamelah has inherited the love of growing things from her grandmother and does a lot to help her out.

In the meantime, all seems well here. Well, mostly! We have not had winter hit yet this season but the weathermen tell us it is on its way and will be arriving this weekend. I have come to realize that I just don't like living in this cold climate and this year to understand how much I really destest that beautiful white stuff called snow. Yeah, I'll change my mind the first beautiful snow covered day we have, but I won't change it for long.

Altogether, all is well here. Hope it is the same with you where ever you are.

Happy New Year and all that Jazz! Yeahhhh!

2007-01-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are all the way up to 2007. Makes me remember my youth when I picked 40 as the age to die. Those "old people" were so sad and boring! Well If I had bit the dust at 40 I would have been gone 25 years already.

I have learned a bit about aging. For one thing, I have never felt that I was older than 35. I guess that is why I didn't die at 40. Just never arrived at that ripe old age. For another thing, I am totally amazed at how old people my age are when I see them. I go home stare at myself in the mirrow. I guess the doctor inserted rose colored lenses at the time I had to have both eyes "done" because of cataracts. I still don't think I'm as old as any of the people my age. Of course, the arthritic pain when I have to get up makes me think sometimes that I am actually 90.

Anyway, this isn't a growing old theme. This is Happy New Year talk. Here's how our evening celebration went.

The kid was on antibiotics which means we didn't buy our usual bottle of wine to toast in the end of the old and the beginning of the New. But, we determined to have a good time, whatever!

We saw in the year with a game of Scrabble. By some slight miracle I won by just a couple points. The miracle being that the kid got stuck with the Q and could never unload it. And it didn't hurt that despite the fact that with my 7 tiles allowed on my stick, 13 of them were usually vowels. I never could spell much more then 7 point words, even if I were on triple point squares. Until I got a D which fit in just the right spot, joining together two words and getting me triple word points to boot; gifting me up with 54 points for just one play. If not for that miracle... I would have been completely embarrassed when the final score was tallied.

When we put away the Scrabble tiles we watched Little Miss Sunshine. You don't need a New Year's Eve drink to enjoy this movie. I laughed so hard I came close to losing my breath a couple times and definitely had tears streaming down my cheeks. I think it just reminded me of some road trips I had taken in my youth, and I totally felt the pain and the love of the characters in the movie. If you haven't seen it. You should. Got to become a classic and a movie that I will pick up to watch over again and again.

Then Dick Clark counted down slowly to 2007. The neighbors began shooting off fireworks and guns. Sweet Pea got a little agitated and had to bark at the noise, but I choose to believe she was just wishing us a Happy New Year too. Altogether it was a fun night.

Hope the same for you. Hope you had a grand time last night and that the year ahead will be filled with more laughter than tears.

Happy New Year!

Bye Year

2006-12-31T05:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I don't know about you, but for me this year went way too fast. Most everything seems to have blurred together up until the time Mom was diagnosed with cancer. I do remember having rotator cuff repair surgery and spending lots of time in physical therapy. Then, time was spent with almost losing Mom, to not losing Mom, to staying with Mom, to going back and forth to doctors. Everything was just very confusing.

But the year is winding down and things seem to be not such a mish-mash of horribleness. There are some things that became clear.

1. God kept his hand on Mom through this entire experience. Sometimes Mom and I talk and are in awe in the way God directed and helped Mom. Of course, it would seem better, if none of this had ever happened. But it has. And in the experience we see God was involved in even the small things and has seen to it that Mom received excellent care.

2. I couldn't have made it through this experience without my sister, Phyllis. Phyllis and Jim usually head south before "real" winter arrives and stay there til spring. This year they stayed here to be with Mom. Just the running to doctor appointments and tests would have killed me. They did most of the running. Which means they were with Mom when she received a lot of the bad news and I got it second hand.

3. I have always known my Mom was a really awesome woman. I have come to appreciate that even more this past year. She is stubborn and until she is sure about something she will not proceed. Sometimes that just about frustrated us to death, since we were so certain as to what she should do. In retrospect, in some cases you need to not get in such a hurry. Mom's cancer is not the kind that quickly spreads (not yet, anyway) and so not getting in a hurry was a good thing. My mother's incredible strength of spirit and determination is not defeated nor is her need to be independent.

4. Surgery is not always the best solution for breast cancer. Wow! I sure came full circle on that one. I really thought this was the ONLY answer. Turns out, for women my Mom's age, it isn't. Although we had a date set for surgery, Mom was never comfortable with the idea of having it. Now surgery has been put on hold until spring. I am not sure that she will choose to have the surgery at that time. What she chooses will be the best choice for her and we will support that choice.

5. Little things become more important when you have no guarantees. We lost track of the big stuff this year because we were kept so busy doing the everyday stuff. In the days, spending time with Mom, helping with her with the little things that were important to her, became top prioritiy. Ultimately, things don't really count. The people do.

6. Christmas without a lot of fuss is lots of fun. We just threw out all the stressful activities and did the essential. Shopping didn't happen and that was a blessing in itself. No purchases were made we could not afford. But when we came together at Christmas, we laughed and just loved the joy of being together. It was great to have Phyllis and James here; the first time in 10 years. This Christmas with Mom will always be one I will hold close to my heart because it was such a very special time. There was nothing unique; there were no big gifts; it was just a time of being together and loving one another. Like I said, it was very special.

7. I had to say goodbye to some very special family members. My cousin Gerri died unexpectly. It was sad to know I would not be seeing here again this side of heaven; and a favored Aunt also died at the age of 96. Aunt Hazel was a unique lady with a great sense of humor who loved to fish. She had moved to Florida and due to poor health we had not seen her in a very long time. It will be good to join her again someday in the future.

And, oh yeah! We got a dog. That was pretty cool. She is a border collie/hound mix. She has boundless energy and could play ball 24 hrs a day. She is an uncalculated miracle and brings much laughter into this house. Her name is Sweet Pea, which came with her and we just didn't feel like we needed to change it to some other ordinary thing.

So goodbye, 2006. You tried to beat us up, but in the end, faith in God, love of family held us together and we are all here ready for whatever 2007 holds. So bring it on 2007. We can take whatever you dish out and meet each day head on.

And that's that.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Christmas With Mom

2006-12-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

Well it's been about 3 months since I added a post here. Sorry about that. Things got a little busy and I tried to keep family updated with emails. In the meantime, we appreciate your prayers. God has been faithful... and, well, here's the latest.

Immediately after Thanksgivings we all got sick. Mom wound up in the hospital with pneumonia. After nearly a week she got to come home to us. She is doing better now and regaining her strength. We are thankful that God was with us. Things could have turned out much differently.

Her surgery, which had been scheduled, has been postponed. Her medical team will be re-evaluating her in March and she can make any decision she needs to make at that time. They cancer is not spreading; and they are keeping a close eye on this with C-scans and such. I find myself no longer "rooting" for her to have surgery. The doctor says there are no guarantees that surgery will prolong her life nor will it add to the quality of life she has remaining. So, we will see what happens in March.

James and Phyllis may head for Florida in January. But for now, it has been more than a blessing having them here. They have been awesome and without them I can't imagine the last few months.

We had an awesome Christmas. We (Vonnie's boys; Marty and his wife Debbie and Wendell), Phyllis & James and me and Jamelah. We had a great dinner, a lot of laughs and it was great just gathering together. You can visit the pictures I took (with the camera Jamelah gave me for Christmas).

pictures here

Mom Update: September 19

2006-09-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

Mom had her appointment with her oncologist last Friday (Sept 15). A brief summary is as follows:

1. Mom's surgery could be scheduled any time now. She is doing very well and it doesn't appear that they need to wait much longer. (Mom wants to feel that she has regained enough of her strength that she will not contiue to have dizzy spells which she has once in a while).

2. Her platelet count was 134. This is very good. They usually want it to be 140+/- before doing surgery. She will have her blood checked again in 2 weeks. The doctor cut her predizone back to 1/2 of her current dose. She now takes 1/2 pill every other day. So she is slowly being weaned from this medication.

CT Scan: Mom's nuerologist wanted a CT scan of her head and neck area. He felt that her symptoms indicated that she could have some blockage there. This would explain the dizzy spells. She had the CT scan yesterday and the results will be back next Monday. If there is blockage, they will have to go in and clear it out.

Aside from that, Mom seems to be doing very well. She went grocery shopping again on Saturday and out to lunch with Jamelah and me after church on Sunday. She thought she might try going to church this Sunday if she was having a good day. I was glad she went with us it was a beautiful day. Touches of fall everywhere and hard to believe that that time of year is here. Mom gets to go out, so it wasn't like she had been cooped up in the house forever, but this time it was all for fun... no needle pokes and no doctors examining her. We had a good time.

Mom has 2 more appointments with doctors this week. I am trying to keep up with this every week so you will know the latest. Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks again for your prayers and support. There is no question about it. God has been with us through this time.

Sorry, Just Real People Here!

2006-09-12T07:20:00.000-07:00

Just in case this is your first time to read this blog thing, I work as a church secretary. Which is way cool. Our church is anything but typical and this job, like any job, comes with its frustrations. Here lately I have been amazed at the number of people who call and ask for the Pastor and when I explain that he is unavailable, instruct me to give them his "voice mail."

OK... sure, uh, how do I explain this. We don't have that type phone service here at church. It would be nice, but then again maybe not. I then have to explain to them, that I AM Pastor's voice mail and you are more than welcome to leave a message with me and I'll see that he gets it. This seems to leave some people just a little perplexed. "What? I have to talk to a person. Well, I'm used to machines."

At that point I figure, smiling to myself, I can tell them to call right back and I won't answer the phone and will let the "answering machine" pick it up. Which is really a joke, because during my scheduled hours the answering machine is not turned on. Why? Because, I'm expected to answer the phone. And when messages get left on the "machine" who clears it? Oh, that would be me.

Of course, it would be kinda fun to create a fake voice mail message and say "just one moment, please" then wait a second and go into some spiel and wait for them to leave their name and number and write it down on the message pad to pass on to Pastor. I'd mess it up, of course, by saying something absurd after they had finished like "thanks for calling. I'm sure Pastor will be sorry he missed you."

Yep, we're totally not high teck here at our church, at least phone wise. So for the time being I'm going to be the answering device whenever anyone calls. Wait, I have to answer the phone. I wonder if it's for Pastor. I hope not. He's out of the building. Ho Hum!

Mom Update: September 9

2006-09-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a quiet week in Mom's life this week. Only one trip to a doctor's office. Can you imagine? Seems strange with how busy they have kept her the last few months.

This week she went to a nuerologist to have her leg checked to see why she had a problem with it before her surgery. The doctor checked her carefully and agreed with Mom's thoughts that she probably had a slight stroke. So, more tests ahead. They will do a CT on her head and neck area to determine if there are any blood clots. The doctor thinks from the way Mom responded to tests in his office that she may have one in her neck. This will also let him know if she has had a stroke. The CT scan will be this week. But things, doctor wise, are pretty quiet for Mom. Just check-ups and getting stronger every day.

She is feeling more like herself and becoming more independent. She went to the grocery store today, the first real outing she has had in months. She seemed to just enjoy being out and doing regular stuff.

Jamelah is off to Grand Rapids tomorrow for a special bead show (she makes jewelry) and is looking to buy some supplies. She does her first craft show in a couple weeks. This is all exciting. But I had told Mom I figured we could hang out some since the kid would be gone and I'd come up and have lunch with her (I had thought I might get her to go out, maybe?} But, she surprised me by saying she had bought something and was planning to cook lunch for me and have it ready when I got out of church. Well! What do you know about that? I was surprised about some of the groceries she was buying. She has no appetite and has lost weight. Her visiting nurse told her the medication she was on would effect her appetite, but she knows she needs to eat more. Hopefully, making and having someone with her for lunch will help her feel more like eating. She'll have left overs too, I'm sure.

Well, Phyllis and James finally got in some shuffleboard and even won a prize. This is the first chance they have had to play. Everything seems a little more normal and we are thankful for the good medical care Mom has gotten and the assurance we have that God is looking after her.

Mom still feels a little house bound and was really excited by a letter and picture of her sister in California. She enjoys hearing from you all. Thanks for being with her as she goes through this difficult time.

Oh, What a Day!

2006-09-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

I had no clue when I crawled out of bed this morning with a bale of cotton in my mouth what an interesting day I was about to jump into.

Warned by the nurse at the doctor's office that I am not to eat or drink after midnight and then head straight to the clinic for some blood work, I tried to ignore the bale of cotton syndrome and headed for the bathroom. I brushed my teeth an extra long time trying to get the saliva to reach the back of my parched throat without much luck. I gargled with warm water and tried not to swallow any thinking this would take care of the problem. It did - for exactly 5 seconds.

I gave up and got dressed so I could be the first person down to the clinic and head for some serious liquid imbidationing. Ready a bit early I decided to check my email and goof off with things that would keep my brain occupied so I wouldn't think about wanting a drink of water or a can of Diet Coke to sting away the dryness in my throat.

My daughter had gone back to our fenced in back yard with our precious dog Sweet Pea (Who we try really hard to keep in the yard which is not an altogether easy thing. It means you have to stand next to the weak spot in the fence so she can't get under it and start wandering around the neighbors yard). We've got curtaining Sweet Pea's desire to wander down to a fine art and she hasn't escaped in ages. So I was quite surprised when I stepped out the back door hurrying to the clinic to be sure to be first in line, to see our darling girl standing at the bottom of the slight hill that is beside our back door. I call her and offer her a treat. She looks at me like I have to make her a better offer. I glance over into the back yard to see my daughter standing in the middle of the yard with a really befuddled look on her face. "She's over here!" I expalin. She then looks at me like I must be daft and continues looking around the yard for the missing dog.

I return to the kitchen to get a treat for the dog. Come back out and try to entice her my way. That's when I realize that poor Sweet Pea seems to have hurt her front leg since she is walking really funny, hobbling around on 3 legs. I call her again. She turns and looks at me again and I hold out the truly delectable treats for her to see. But there are way too many much more interesting things in the neighbor's yard to investigate. Now this incline between the two yards is really steep and there's no way I'm going to try going down it with my bad knees. I'd have to get down on my butt and scoot and once down I'd never be able to get back up.

But Jamelah has arrived on the scene now wondering how the dog got out. She couldn't have gotten our her regular way. I pointed to the gap under the gate. We've been wondering how long it would be before she tried it, well, we now have the answer to that question. We return to trying to get our girl to climb up the hill to us. She continues to ignore us. That's when we realize that her foot, evidently in crawling under the gate, is caught in the the training collar around her neck and she can't get it back out. Lucky break for us. On three legs she isn't going far.

Jamelah takes the plunge down the incline and Sweet Pea hobbles over for her treat and is rescued from her 3 legged problem. They start around the neighbor's yard instead of climbing back up to our door. I'm thinking my chance of being first is screwed.

I'm right. I'm thrid. Which still isn't too bad. I wo't go into the details of the rest of my morning, but the step out the door was just a foretaste. My stop to pick up mail at the post office was derailed leaving me to arrive at work late. Once there things continued being just a little off kilter all day long. But soon my 4 hour day ended and I headed home.

I decided, since we had a weak spot at the rear of the yard and a weak spot at the front of the yard and since I have no magic powers and can only be in one place at a time, to wait for my daughter to get home before letting Sweet Pea out. Once Jamelah was home, we THOUGHT it would be a good idea to let our dog out right away. She would be about to burst with needing to go pee. So, out to the yard we went. I stationed myself at the gap under the gate and Jamelah walked the dog to the weak spot at the rear of the yard before letting her off her leash. We were right about her fairly bursting; to get back out of the yard, that is. She made a beeline straight for me, but I was ready. But not ready enough. Because she hadn't gone under the gate, she had gone under the fence at an entirely different place and I wasn't standing there... and in a second, despite my loud, "NO!, NO!, NO!" she was gone again. This time unhindered by a foot being caught in her collar. She was soon soon out of sight.

We quickly got in the car and took off after her and caught her across the street. She quickly jumped into the car for her treat and we came back home. We still have to get the dog into the back yard to do "her business" but this time we know where she went out. So, Jamelah decided to stand at the front of the yard at the vulnerable place and I walked the dog to the back and let her off leash again; and off she went like a bat out of hell. To our chagrin she was quicker than us and she was under the fence and gone again. We jumped into the car and around the neighborhood we went. But she managed to evade us. She managed, in fact, to evade us for a long time. We thought we could hear her bark. We checked to only find a different dog in their yard barking. We began to pray to find her because we are now worried about how far astray she has gone. We hear a famliar bark closer to home, we investigate, but again it is the wrong dog. We hear another bark and head towards it and find our beloved Sweet Pea standing in our front yard with a quizzical look on her face as if asking "Where have you been?".

Into the car she bounded and this time we headed to Tractor Supply. We got a long tether, a stake and a harness. Sweet Pea's days of running amok in the back yard have come to an end. My brother in law came over and pounded the stake down good and secure. We tethered her up and she took off full tilt for the fence when she was rudely yanked back when she reached the end of the line. She was totally amazed.

The next 3 times "out" she spent most of the time crying and whining and we did a lot of crying with her, but finally she seems to have noW gotten the hang of it and has adjusted to the space the tether lets her go.

Jamelah is signing up for obedience classes for the fall and we are hoping by teaching her "come" and "stay" the tether will no longer be necessary. Truthfully, tieing her up was harder on us than on her. But, that's it for now. I guess we need the Dog Wrisperer to come visit us for a bit so we can teach our dog that she can't go beyond the fence.

Happy Labor day!

2006-09-03T11:43:00.000-07:00

It is difficult for me to imagine that we are in September and that this is Labor Day Weekend. But, no matter how difficult it is for me to imagine it; the trees are dropping leaves, the air feels strangely like fall and I have to take a deep breath and face the fact that I will soon be dragging out my winter coat and getting up early enough to scrape ice off my windshield.

But, here in our country this is a big weekend for bar-b-queing and enjoying the last long weekend of summer. I hadn't thought about the neighborhood air filling up with the aroma of grilling meat until I hit the grocery store this morning and saw a dude putting a rack of ribs in his cart that filled the whole bottom of the thing up and then proceeded to pile in packages of hamburger meat and then head on to the brats. Guess they were going to have one heck of a party.

Me, I was there to buy orange juice. The kid and I are both down with some kind of bug. I got hit first and quite stupidly didn't realize that the reason I felt so punk was because I was sick. My daughter told me I should not be going around Mom and exposing her to whatever it was that I had. I thought about it and finally called Phyllis. I filled like a smuck begging off from spending the night with Mom, but the truth is, I realized it was probably for the best. Phyllis agreed and so Mom spent that night with Phyllis. It wasn't like I was going to get over a "cold" in one night, however. I did go to work the rest of the week but ran a fever and mostly tried not to lay my head down on my desk and go to sleep. Mom spent the nights with Phyllis

I figured by the time the weekend got around I'd be pretty much recovered. Saturday morning I went over to my sister's house, fully intending to pick up Mom and give her a ride home, while Phyllis finished up doing "hair" for Saturday. I was there about 30 minutes when I realized that what I really wanted to do was go somewhere and just lie down. So, I left. Went home, hit my recliner and slept most of the day away. Well, today I feel better but am glad I have a long weekend to recover in. Jamelah started in feeling sick on Friday so we are mopping around the house doing the "getting plenty of rest" and watching videos. Ahh... Happy Labor Day!

On a happy note. Mom is getting stronger every day. She enjoys her independence and has decided that there is no reason why she needs someone to spend the nights with her anymore. She talked it over with her nurse and was told she should be fine. So, last night, Mom spent her first night alone. She did well, and is feeling good about it. Counting the days until the surgery. Glad she doesn't have to go to some doctor appointment every day.

So, it is a Happy day. A happy Labor Day!

Mom Update: August 30

2006-08-30T08:52:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was Mom's appointment with Dr. Shen the oncologist (cancer) and hematologist (blood). After we left Mom said she thought God must be helping her out.

Here's why.

The large hematoma (blood clot) which is in Mom's breast from the biopsy is very hard and large (about the size of an orange). They had discussed with Mom that they would need to remove this clot and would do so at the time they removed any more of her breast that was still affected and check and remove the lympf nodes as needed. Dr. Shen says the clot is too large and hard and this makes surgery impossible at this time. He believes the clot will soften in time and reduce in size. He expects that this will take about 3 months. By that time they will be able to do the surgery safely. He says making a statement of whether or not a total or partial mastectomy will need to be performed is not wise at this time.

He put her on a drug called tomoxafen (probably not spelled right) which is a cancer drug. This will prevent the cancer from spreading from where it is now. He will keep a close check on Mom during this waiting time with blood work and what ever else may be needed.

He empahsized that the cancer was only one problem discovered during the last couple months. That other medical issues were being dealt with and that the discovery that she had a heart problem was HUGE. This problem would probably have been the medical problem that would have ended her life had it not been discovered. Now with the pacemaker that issue has been dealt with.

The other medical problem is her blood problem. Her platelet count was 117 when last checked. This shows that she is doing well on the medication and he will continue at the current dosage (every other day) until he sees how her body reacts to the tomoxafen. If all goes well and her platelet count continues to rise, he will again begin decreasing her dosage.

So, it was a day of good news. Mom came home smiling and feeling that things were getting better. This gives us an expectation that the surgery (which ever one) will be done aboout December 1.

In the meantime, we wait. And as we wait, Mom will continue to get stronger. I really do believe that she will defeat this cancer with the great care that she is being given and she will "die peacefully in her sleep" at some future date, as she has predicted.

On another front. Mom had a great birthday. Thank you for all your cards and calls. She was busy all day chatting with family and friends. She is still a bit nauseaus when trying to eat solid food, so we made a big pot of soup and Phyllis brought over her famous pineapple (not banana) pudding. We had a good time and Mom opened her gifts. So, thank you for making it a great day.

Sorry, Jamelah forgot to take her camera with her so I didn't get a picture to post for you, but will post one later.

Mom Update: August 26

2006-08-26T17:33:00.000-07:00

Well, Monday is Mom's 92nd birthday. We have asked her how she would like to celebrate and she always comes up with a non answer response. (I'll see if I can get jamelah to sneak a picture of her and will post here after her birthday.) Solid food makes her sick, so she isn't looking forward to a birthday dinner. She eats soup. So I'm going to make her a pot of soup and some cornbread and let her eat until she feels she will explode. That won't be much. She has little appetite has lost 5 pounds. The doctors are telling her she has to gain it back. She is to begin drinking Ensure for breakfast. She has enjoyed her tomaotes, however. And they are awesome this year. She only planted 5 plants and they are producing enough to open a hi-way stand.

Now, for the doctor news. She had her staples removed from the incision from where she had her pacemacker put in and an appointment with the radiologist (Dr. Mudge) on Friday. So, she was on the go all day. Everything was well when they checked her at the heart doctor's. She does not go back there until a regular check up on her pacemaker, but she does have an upcoming appointment in September with the doctor. The Radiologist spent a great deal of time with her on Friday. He wanted to make sure she understood all that could be happening to her. He is the doctor that James (Phyllis's husband had when he was diagonosed with throat cancer).

Simply put, the CT scan which was run on Tuesday shows that the cancer is not spreading. They are confident now that a radical mastectomy will not be necessary. They reccommend that Mom have the partial done (this will remove the bloodclot from the biopsy, any affected tissue and check the lymph nodes and remove as needed. This would be followed up with 33 radiation treatments (5 times a week... not on weekends nor on holidays). This would get any cancer tissue that might have been missed in the surgery because it was not visible or that had started to grow since. The doctor's are concerned that since Mom has problems bleeding that a radical mastectomy would be too traumatic for her. However, the decision will be hers to make. Also, should she opt for the complete mastectomy, healing would take a very long time and any additional treatments that would be necessary would have to be chemo. This is due to the length of healing and for other reasons... which I didn't get exactly straight or understand completely.

Anyway, she seems to be accepting the idea of a partial operation now instead of pushing for the radical mastectomy. This is due to the positive report she received from the CT scan which showed that the tumors were not spreading.

Her next major appointment will be on Tuesday and I will update you as soon as I can after we get the report from Dr. Shen. He will be determining when Mom may be ready for surgery. Her platelet count was 105 the last time checked. It will be checked again next week.

But, she has a free day on Monday. That is her brithday, so if you have her phone number, give her a call and wish her Happy Birthday. She has taken all the cards (thank you so much)and layed them out like a quilt on her dining room table. They are beautiful and she is really enjoying hearing from everyone. Email me if you want to contact her and have lost her contact information at afearle@yahoo.com.

Bless you... and keep praying. God is on our side and listening. I am sure of that.

Pray for Phyllis and James too. They have been doing the carrying back and forth of Mom for her appointments and sometimes that's a really hectic schedule.

Mom Update: August 21

2006-08-21T17:31:00.000-07:00

Mom's tests last week were encouraging but we did discover after she wore a heart monitor for 24 hours that she would need a pace maker. She is a very high risk patient. She was admitted to Bronson Hospital in Kalamazoo last Thursday and the pacemaker was installed with no problems. She remained there overnight and came home Friday evening.

She was feeling tired, but pretty good. It is a new incision for her to worry about and to heal, but she was feeling better on Sunday and seemed to be enjoying her day.

Today she had multiple blood tests run again. She also had appointments with her surgeon and her family doctor. They both said she was doing very well. Dr. Warnsby (the surgeon) discussed Mom's upcoming surgery and stated that she would need to go in to remove a very large blood clot from her breast which formed from the biopsy and all the bleeding. At that time she would also remove the remaining effected areas as needed. If things went well it would NOT be necessary for her to have a mastectomy after all.

Mom is a little upset about this news. She would rather they just go in and do the mastectomy, if it would guarantee that she would not need to have an additional surgery. She says they have already done one surgery on her breast now they want to do 2 more. She feels like this is just an indication that they are really unsure of themselves. I think she has lost confidence in her surgeon. She just wants to have it over with.

She has a CT scan tomorrow which will tell them more about whether or not the cancer has progressed beyond where it was at the time of surgery. Then she meets on Friday with a radiation specialist. He will give his opinion as to whether or not she is a candidate for radiation therapy as opposed to the meastectomy.

She meets with Dr. Shen (the blood specialist/cancer doctor) next Tuesday. Ultimaltely he is the doctor who makes the decisions as to what is the best way to proceed. I will let you know his opinion once we have it.

She has an appointment with a nuerologist regarding the numbness in her right knee and leg. Until he approves she will be unable to drive. Not that she is planning on taking any road trips in the meantime.

Keep Mom in your thoughts and prayers. Give her a call or send a card. She has really been blessed by all those who have contacted her. It really does make a difference.

Thanks for everything.

Mom

2006-08-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

My mother is indestructable. I have always known this. She turns 92 on August 28th and her years have been filled with busy activities. Her favorite is working in her yard. She has always been very proud of her flowers and spent much time each year planting her annuals in and around the perenials. Something was in bloom all from spring until fall. She was very proud of her yard and it was always beautiful. She adorned her front and back patio with hanging baskets. We always bought one for her for Mother's day and so did the other siblings. Along with the ones we got, she planted others she saved from year to year, with petunias. So she had a veritable blooming garden hanging from her porch and spilling out of the flower box under her kitchen window.

Mom began complaining about problems with her arm and left breast one winter while she was working on a quilt she was making for my daughter, Jamelah. She breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally finished, and figured the soreness would go away. It did not. She had trouble and complained and the doctor sent her off for a mamogram. The test showed everything was fine and Mom was told again that she was in great shape for her age and should take it easy and try not doing so much. So, we let it go at that.

As the year went on, Mom complained of easy fatigue, of sleeping afternoons and not "feeling like anything." Her breast still bothered her and she began wanting to have it looked at again. On a routine visit to her doctor he examined her breast; although he felt the lump there, he felt since the mamogram showed no irregularity, that she need not worry. But just to be safe as soon as a year had passed, she would go in for a 2nd mamogram. She did.

This was the beginning of out nightmare. The technician was concerned because this time the test showed there was definitely a mass in her breast. She would be scheduled for biopsy immediately. They tried to do a "needle biopsy" which doesn't amount to much, but were unsuccessful in doing this procedure. She was immediately scheduled with a surgeon to have the old time biopsy done. During her pre-op testing they found her blood platelet level to be very low. They were going to have to give her a transfusion of platelets prior to the biopsy. It wasn't going to amount to much, we were told. She was admitted to out-patient surgery bright and early so the platelets could be infused. Well, nothing runs easily and I won't go into the details. So to speed it up, the pint of platelets did not do the job and late that night the surgeon said they would keep Mom overnight and begin bright and early the next day. More platelets were ordered for her (they don't keep them in stock, I guess). So the next morning Mom got her 2nd transfusion. A check showed her blood still low. She got another pint. Her blood count was now high enough, and although the day was late that night she was wheeled into surgery.

Phyllis, my sister and I sat and waited. Phyllis had been with Mom all day. I had come in after I got out of work at 1pm. We were both tired but feeling relief that Mom was finally in good hands and getting this taken care of. I was determined that all would come out with positive reports. 91 year old women don't get cancer. If they were going to get it... they would have years ago. I lost my sister, Vonnie, to cancer when she was just in her 40's, so the thought that Mom might be diagnosed with this disease at her age was an impossibility to me.

The doctor came out and said everything had gone well. Mom had quite a bit of bleeding due to her low platelet count, so she was unable to remove the entire mass, but had removed what she could. It would be sent off for analysis and we would have the report in a couple days. She said Mom had done fine and would be sleeping soundly and advised we go home and do the same... so, we did.

The next day early, Phyllis called me from the hospital. Mom was not doing all that well. She had lost a lot of blood and her blood count way exceptinally low (7, 14 is good, 12 is acceptable). She would have to have a transfusion. Her heart rate had slowed during the night to almost nothing. She had been transferred to the Intensive Care Unit. She was resting and her heart rate had leveled off. They felt she would be fine as soon as they could get some blood into her.

The blood from the transfusion seemed to dissapate into thin air (actually under her skin, since she was still bleeding), but finally after 3 pints of blood, she was pronouced good enough to go home. Her out-patient visit had extended to 5 days. She would not be able to stay alone: Her diagnosis was cancer. She would have to have a radical mastectomy as soon as her body could tolerate it.

My sister and I switched off with her staying days and me staying nights. My brother had already planned a visit (Family Reunion time) and arrived. So James and Martha stayed with Mom and took great care of her during their vacation. By the end of this time she had gained some strength and was taking short walks around the house.

Family Reunion week Royce and Bonnie (my older brother) came for the weekend. His family also arrived, his sons Royce and Greg with their families. So Mom's house was filled with family. Her sister Josie from Tennessee also came in to visit. They were in Lansing for a funeral. So we got to see Aunt Josie and cousins Angie and Arvemia. It was a fun week with people coming and going but all too soon everyone headed home and Phyllis and I were once again staying with Mom.

Mom is now stronger. She likes staying by herself some during the day and having a sense of independence that she is still able to take care of herself. She still needs someone to stay during the night. Phyllis is still doing the daytrime drill and I come over in the evenings to help with supper... and then spend the night.

We have learned this past week that Mom is a high risk patient because her heart sometime slows down and almost quits beating. She is being sheduled for a pacemaker and they are thinking that will take place Thursday, maybe. We go see the doctor this afternoon.

So, this is how it is right now this morning. Will keep you updated. Bookmark the page so you can check in. I'll keep you posted on future information given us by the doctors, test results and procedures that are taking place.

Keep Mom in your prayers. She has a long way to go.

Cathcing Up

2006-08-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

I knew it had been forever since I had posted on this blog. I tried to feel ashamed, but I just didn't have the incentive even for that, nor the time. I'm just going to try to bring you up-to-date, sort of. Hopefully, in the organized way I do things... but hopefully also, not too boring. If it is, just skip this post.

Oct 4, 2005: I had knee replacement surgery. I totally ignored the computer world for a while, but I actually did post something, sometime around then I think. Anyway, that was last year, and now I have a really neat scar on my right knee, and it still bothers me some, but otherwise, it was worth it and it's over.

We did Thanksgivings and Christmas. They were quiet but nice. I can't think of anything that stands out in my memory regarding them... so I guess they were also boring. But quiet and nice seemed pretty good at that time, actually.

Winter was not a bad thing this year. We didn't get buried in snow even one time. I had to pay someone to come shovel us out once. So I thought that was a good winter. But I'm not a farmer who depends on the moisture from the snow to bring good spring crops. It didn't even get cold this winter and stay there. Again, this is not a good thing for farmers (i guess the ground didn't even freeze good, and not being agriculturally minded I don't understand this... but a good freeze is needed to help the land lay dormant). So we breezed through winter and soon it was spring. Spring was early and farmers were out cultivating their fields and soon everything was up and growing. The old statement about the corn being "knee high by the 4th of July" was irrelevant. In some places the corn was tasseling out by mid-July and by the 4th it was head high.

Before I had my knee surgery I had started having trouble with my left arm. I complained to my doctor at a regular checkup, midwinter and he sent me off to physical therapy. This was silly. I had just finished about 8 weeks therapy for my knee.

But, I was back again. The therapist who did my analysis, felt I had some type problem with my shoulder and that the problem was not arthritis. He contacted my doctor and requested x-rays be made. The x-rays showed I had spurs in the area causing the pain. My therapist worked with me for 6 weeks, while the use of my arm decreased. He sent me off to my bone guy who had done my knee. A CAT-scan revealed my rotator cuff was damaged by the spur. So, this had to be repaired. Well we're into spring and almost summer. Not being a sports addict, I did not know this was an injury usually had by ball players so I endured a lot of jokes about hurrying to get the job done so I wouldn't "be out all season." I was hoping to postpone the whole thing until September when I turn 65 and go on medicare. Less money out of my pocket. The doctor suggested I not wait. As I continued to use the arm, I would probably injure it further and as it currently stood, it could be repaired. SO, I listened to him and we scheduled the surgery.

Let me just say, just because an operation is done on an out-patient basis does not mean it is minor surgery! Turns out recovery for this surgery is longer and more difficult than the knee surgery. I was able to return to work in a sling in 2 weeks, so I thought it was going to be no big thing. Well, it is a BIG thing. If you know someone who has to have this done, be generous in your sympathy. They deserve it.

They began me on physical therapy almost immediately. My daughter and my sister went along, because I was not allowed to move my shoulder myself. They were taught how to "manipulate" it so it could be moved each day in a non-harmful manner. This would decrease the possibility of adhesions growing, which would take me to another surgery, to have them broken free. So... needless to say, I am well known at physical therapy but finally got to tell them goodbye (I hope not so long). I am finally on my own. Which is good, but I still have a 30 minute regiment I must do every day to keep the arm from freezing up on me and to regain full use of it... so far I have a ways to go. I will do this. Somehow.

So, I just haven't been doing a lot of typing, hence no posting has taken place. And with my mom's illness (next post) I doubt that I'll have a lot of time. But I do want to use this space as a means to keep the family updated on her progress.

So, that said... I think I better write the next post

Summer Flight

2006-08-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was climbing into my car a yellow and white moth flew by. I was suddenly a little kid again, lying on my back contemplating yellow moths, or staring at cartoon shapes in the clouds floating by overhead. Summers of my youth were long, days stretching on endlessly, seemingly filled with boredom for lack of something "exciting" to happen. It seemed it would be forever until school started back up again and I would have "something to do."

I just want to go back to that time. The time when days stand still, heat sears your head, walks to the lake to swim fill an afternoon, and there is endless hours to gaze at butterflies, watch a praying mantis, or marvel at the green slime in your palm from the grasshopper you were just holding and tossed back into the lawn with a profound exclamation of "eueeegh!!!" I want to watch the yellow moth in flight to see where it flitters to. I want to be amazed by the moon at night and lay on my back and stare up at the big dipper while I get vertigo and think I will surely float away from the earth and be lost in endless space.

It was good for just a moment this morning to be a kid again. To watch the moth float away, oblivious of me climbing into my car to head off to my day. I loved that pause in reality. It is sad that the only thing that has flown this season was summer itself and I can't really figure out when summer took flight.

What? Again!

2006-06-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Yes! Again. I had to have surgery again! I'm beginning to feel like everytime I walk into a doctor's office they start looking for some area of my body they haven't cut on yet... and then decide exactly what they can do there.

It seems that what I thought was just old age and arthritis prohibiting the use of my left arm was actually a torn rotator cuff. So after physical therapy did nothing to improve my gimpy arm they ran me through a MRI and decided I needed surgery. Three weeks ago they did the evil deed. Now I'm wearing a sling for another week and back doing therapy on a arm that I am not allowed to move.

Hopefully, when this thing heals up I'll get a break and not need anymore cutting done on me for a while. Haven't done much on the "net" since typing is pretty much one-handed for now. So, it was a shame to be off work, doped up on vicadan and not be able to make asinine blog posts about the world in general. I guess you were saved from that.

Back to work now, and the arm is coming along just fine although I still get to use pain killers for a while yet. So, soon maybe I can come up with some profound insights which I discovered during my recovery period that I'll be able to share with the whole world.

Until then, this will have to do.

and then there were three

2006-04-17T14:05:00.000-07:00

We said goodbye to our old friend Teddy, a poodle-cocker mix. He had brought us a lot of laughter, love, and frustration at times... indeed, he was all dog. We missed him but I was determined there would not be another dog taking up residence in our house, but it's been a while and my daughter really missed having a pet.

We began, half-heartedly on my part, looking at dogs again. About 2 weeks ago we learned of a shelter in Battle Creek from a friend so for a Saturday something to do we went for a visit. My daughter immediately bonded with a dog and after coming home and talking it over we decided we'd adopt the dog.

Her name is Sweet Pea (yeah, the first thing we were going to do was change her name) but it's been a week and Sweet Pea just seams to be who she is. We call her Sweetie... and sometimes I hear my daughter call her "Miss Thang" because she is definitely all attitude. Truth is, we love her already.

She is a hound/border collie mutt. She is called "medium" size and weighs in at about 42 pounds. She is very intelligent and a quick learner. She is never still and bounds with great enthusiasm. She is all muscle and runs full hilt. She is beautiful. Here is a picture of her sitting still. Rare moment.

So, our family has grown. We're all about it now there are 3 of us.

Coats and Mortorcycles

2006-03-12T05:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday broke hazey with a forecast for a gray day but the sun seemed to be determined to shine. My "To Do List" had real fun stuff on it; do the laundry, file my taxes, go to the credit union, grocery shop. I was totally into having a great day! Well, not really.

I started off by hauling a ton of laundry to the basement, sorting them and simply getting on with it. Having the first item on my list well on its way to accomplishment, I fixed a quickie breakfast (toast, yogurt and coffee) checked my email and then tackled the most dreaded item on the list. The filing of the taxes. Last year being the first of my retirement I had decided to use a "professional" instead of doing them myself, as usual. I wound up using 2 "experts" to make sure I got it corretly and legally filed. The first guy got me back a ton of money, which was the flag that told me something was not right. I reviewed it before mailing and when I looked at some of the boxes knew immediately that the thing was making me commit some serious tax evasion practices. I heaved a sigh and took the entire bundle off to H&R Block. Well, that all turned out OK, however they seemed more interested in how the other guy (whose name I didn't give them) had tried to mess with the system (in several places) so he could get me a big number on the bottom line.

But I digress, that was last year and this is this year. So, back to my old mind set of "I can do this myself" (I've filed my own taxes forever and even did them for other people for a few years). I visited my old web source and signed in easily, after requesting my user name and password, which I had forgotten, of course. I was easing my way right through it when I hit a snag. Evidenly I had saved the wrong Social Security document and no matter how many times I searched through my messy organized file of important papers... it was not to be found. I decided I could probably find the information "on line" but the social security site nearly drove me bonkers and I soon knew I had to give up on it. I tried to sign on for an additional "update" that could download the information directly... but they didn't list Social Security as being a site to which they had access. Alas, I had to give up the task with my taxes just minutes from completion. I felt frustrated (politacally correct way of saying "very angry") at being unable to complete the job. This means I will have to call the Social Security office come Monday. Now there is something to look forward to. The amount of time you spend on hold waiting to talk to a live body can stretch on forever.

Whatever! I checked the clock. My first load of clothes should be coming out of the dryer. I waited for the familiar sound of the buzzer. No buzz. We were wanting to get to the credit union and I wanted my nicely dried clothes put away first so I wouldn't have to iron later on. I waited and finally made a trip to the basement to discover that although my dryer had been drying my clothes way beyond the needed time, no drying had taken place. The clothes were cold. The clothes were wet. Something was wrong! Yech. This had happened the last time my daughter did her laundry. I asked what she did to make the appliance work and dry her clothes. With her advice I headed back to the basement. Reset the dryer. Waited a while then went back and checked on it. The clothes were still cold. The clothes were still wet. This despite the fact that they had been tumbling for over 2 hrs. Now real frustration has hit. I can't accomplish the first 2 tasks on my list. Bad omen for the day!

Well, onward and Upward!, I always say (actually, I never say that, well, hardly ever}.

Next task. Trip to the credit union. I can do this. Well, I can, unless the car blows up or there's a flat on it... or something horrifying is going to happen. I stuck my head out the door to prepare me for the worst. Then I stuck all of me out the door. It was positively radient outside. The weather was totally balmy. I realized for the first time since November I was going somewhere and not going to put on a coat. The sun had come out. It was one of those "indescribably awesome, winter has died" days. I took a deep breath and we set out on our excursion (the credit union lies in a town 20 miles east of us) through the countryside. No need to hurry over the freeway (you have to threaten me to drive on that road anyway. Freeway drivers today are totally nutz!). Ten minutes out and I had forgotten the incompleted task of filing my taxes. My wet clothes sitting in a dryer, not drying. It was the first coatless day of spring. I felt good.

We grabbed lunch in a favorite eating spot and made a decision that we could live without grocery shopping. We stepped back into the bright sunlight not really wanting to make the return trip home. But we did. I began looking for the Harleys as we headed back. 'Guys on motor bikes' is my first sure sign that spring has arrived. It wasn't but a few minutes before I saw the first one ahead of us. This is it. Spring for me has officially arrived. Forget the robbins. Forget the equinox. On this Saturday of unaccomplished tasks the greatest event has burst on the scene. Spring is here!

I am happy. We call my mom. Make arrangements and pick her up. Soon we are headed into the world where farmers have begun tilling their land, more motorcycles and a sense that I shall not freeze anymore this winter. Incomplete tasks pale in comparison to cows lazing in pastures and spring fields hinting of green, blue skies overhead, and warm sunshine pouring through my windshield.

It is a good day!

I Blame The Super Bowl

2006-02-05T12:10:00.000-08:00

What a winter we have had this year. 55 days in a row with temperatures well above normal. I have forgotten what it feels like to get up early and go out to remove 3 feet of snow off my car before driving to work. It has been awesome.

We were getting a bit spoiled. Wearing a light weight jacket layered with a sweater underneath. (I hate bundling up in the winter time)... I'm feeling pretty good about living in Michigan this year.

Then What? With the Super Bowl coming to Detroit the natives of Motor City are feeling a bit sad that there is no cold weather and snow to show off to all the tourists arriving for the weekend. (Folks, really now. The people are coming to sit in a stadium and watch fools run around chasing a ball. They are not planning a ski get away! So these same natives begin to pray for snow! Yes, that's right, pray for snow.

Well, Glory, Be. Somebody up there likes them. We got dumped on. I awoke to a snow covered yard and streets. A car once again buried. I struggle into my layers and head out to remove the crud off my car, cursing people who thought this weather would be a good idea, but glad we didn't get as much here as Detroit had gotten.

The temperatures rose to 31. The snow has begun to thaw. It is rather lovely out, actually. The wind is blowing. But, I'm still blaming the Super Bowl for the end of our spring like winter and the arrival of the real thing.

Do you suppose they will pray for a return to what we had before once the Super Bowl is over. Will we get 55 more days of above average temperatures?

What the heck. I'm just a bit of a pessimist, I must admit. Each morning during the 55 days I'd hear myself say as I backed my car out of my drive "I'll pay for this nice weather before winter is over." I guess it is time to settle up.

Just A Cup Full Of Yogurt!

2006-02-05T11:48:00.000-08:00

the stomach flu made its eminent arrival known with a touch of queasiness during the evening hours. By morning I had all symptoms full on. Not to be deterred I set off for work and managed to get through my 4 hours of hard labor. I Headed home for some chicken noodle soup, sure that normalcy would be returned. It wasn't. The next day was more of the same and I dedicated myself to my old formula of clear liquids. You know the drill. Chicken boullion, jellow, 7up, clear fruit juice. I figured it would take 24 hrs to flush the bug out of my system. I added 2 TBSP of the pink stuff which did nothing to slow down events but did ease the cramping. Despite my efforts the next day I was still trying to figure out why my intestinal track is now shooting green slime out of my body.

By morning on the 4th day I'm sure it is a bacterial infection and will need antibiotics. I call the doctor and make an appointment. I like the idea of dropping a few pounds but this is not the way I'd like to do it... and despite the fact that I really don't have an appetite, I'm weary of the clear liquid goop. I want something else added to the mix.

The doctor empathized with me then recommended that I take 8 ounces ("It can't be less than 8 ounces," he warned) of yogurt. He sent me to the lab for a battery of tests but told me to start the yogurt routine right away. "Yogurt?" I queried. "Does it have to be plain?"

"No!, just so long as it's yogurt. The bacteria in the yogurt will destroy the bacteria in your intestinal tract in many instances. Just try it and see what happens" he instructed.

I can do that... I LIKE yogurt.

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home and filled the cart up with yogurt. Came home and immediately dove into my first cup. I had the 2nd cup for a bedtime snack. I went to bed and slept through the night. The next morning I was still a bit queasy, but decidedly better. I stayed on the yogurt routine. By the next day I was ready to eat something besides soup. I pronounced myself well.

Who would have thought? Well, maybe you knew this stuff, but I sure didn't. I am a new fan of yogurt and have resolved to have a cup of yogurt a day. What harm can it do? Eh, and decidedly it does a lot of good. And I want to share. Just in case you don't know... try a cup o' yogurt. It could cure what ails you.

Whatever Happened to "anniefay.net"

2006-01-21T05:51:00.000-08:00

Having a website, is like, well, actually... a lot of work. And really, who wants to do something that qualifies as work without getting paid for it?

But the truth is I had rather put the site "on hold" for a bit. I was headed off for surgery (October 4, I had a total knee replacement), and I was going to be home for a month-a whole month with nothing to do but watch crap on daytime TV. With all that time, I knew I'd get busy and update my site and do all the cool stuff I had been dreaming about doing. But, what really happened is - I had surgery. Wahoooo! It went well. Oh, yeah! I groaned! I moaned! My sister Phyllis, God bless her, came daily and looked after me as did my brother-in-law James. They picked me up at the hospital the day I was discharged and then hauled my sorry self back and forth to here and there (they have this kickbutt Cadillac with a back seat big enough to let me slide in and out without having to bend my are you kidding me this baby is not bending knee - and even took me to physical therapy a couple times.

Now my daughter owns this little Ford Escort, which is a very nice little car and has really been good to us. I knew I wasn't going to be able to be spoiled all the time, so I went out on my first day of therapy, with a determined air began the process of sliding my huge ass into the back of a very little car. We have cloth seats (Phyllis and James have leather seats... over which a large ass can slide without a great deal of work) But with a lot of grunting, gasping, grabing hold of the "oh shit" handle, I finally managed to get myself all the way across the back of the car. I felt as if I'd just run a 26 mile marathon. And with that accomplishment, Jamelah became the designated driver for her crippled, old, invalided mother (bless her heart). Actually, it was rather fun at times. See I could be all laid back in the rear seat, pointing at the kid and yelling "Onward James" (actually, I never did that. Not even once. If I had, I have a feeling I'd still be the invalided old mother stuck forever in my recliner).

Therapy is a 3 times a week gift they give you after joint replacement surgery. The premise being; you go where large hulking men torture you for 1 hour while making you do impossible things with a leg whose muscles have atrophied from lack of use and is now stiff with scar tissue and refuses to do what you tell it to. Then they tell you to repeat the same routine at home - EVERY day. Well, being a determined gal, I managed to follow their instructions and, in fact, was discharged from therapy 2 weeks early because I had achieved the range of motion that was the goal.

But, I digress! This is just other stuff. What I was trying to tell you was what happened to my website. You see, to manage the therapy and just the plain old pain that followed the surgery I was given some very nice pills. I found it easy to sit in my recliner and sleep through boring daytime TV and a lot of boring night time TV too. Add to that a knee that took a few weeks to get to the point where I could bend it enough to sit at my computer and you have a web site that I had planned to play with nonstop, totally ignored. No updating happened. All the fun blogs I created in my mind laying back in my chair staring at the ceiling about my whole experience, never got written. After 5 weeks I was back at work. Although I only have a 4 hr a day job, that was about all the sitting at a desk I could manage. I spent 2 months just checking in on my email and, in most cases, not even bothering to hit the reply or forward button.

In the middle of all that fun I managed to lose my credit card. So when I called the bank they immediately froze my account until a new card could be issued. That was a 2 week period with no card. Not a big deal for me, I hardly use it... except when I am too lazy to walk inside the gas station and choose to pay for gas at the pump... but mostly its used for my on-line purchases. Part of those said purchases was an automatic charge each month to my account for my web page. Actually, it was a small monthly charge about which I never bothered to think and continued to completely ignore. But in the time slot when my card was frozen the attempt to apply this charge was denied, and since I was in the midst of ignoring email, I totally missed the message that there was a problem. When I got around to checking it out.... Alas, alas, anniefay.net was gone. (I learned this when my daughter asked me what had happened to the site, since I had not even bothered to check it out for a couple months). In the meantime I had been keeping a tag on all my emails leading to a nonexistent web address.

My daughter, who had kindly taken care of me after my surgery, explained to me that my blog connection could be changed and I could just forget the whole website business. I decided that was the route I would go. So, here it is. I'm going to try to keep it updated regularly now that I'm sitting here at the computer more often. I will be hosting pictures on a site specifically for that purpose and link to it from the blog, eventually. Although I probably won't put all the pictures up on a host site; I'll try to get some of them back up. By then nearly all of what had been anniefay.net will be back on line.

So, that's the whole sad story. Welcome to the new home of my ongoing babblings. Sign in with a comment and let me know you dropped by.

a very happy birthday

2005-09-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

Well, as it turns out, today is my birthday. Also as it turns out, it is probably one of the funnest birthdays I have had. I owe this mostly to the fun people in my life who determined to make it happy for me.

My kid did me up proud with lots of remembrances and a boxed Johhny Cash cd set that made me happy and a little teary eyed. She had seen me lust over it while proclaiming it too expensive to be had. Well, now I has it! Go ME!

My friend Peggy (who reminded me that although I might not be "over the hill" yet I was still high enough to get nose bleeds) sent out the word to everyone we even know remotely and I was flooded with cards, emails a birthday serenade from a group all at once, and I have found myself grinning and on a couple occasions I have absolutely burst out loud laughing.

My sister remembered me with a beautiful card and a smells so good candle (i love candles). Mom is taking me out to dinner tomorrow...

And there is the greetings from my 2 brothers. Man, I have been howdied and happy birthdayed to beat the band.

So, there... I'm having one.

Thanks everyone... and tra la la... happy birthday to me. I'm having a great time.

And then he tied her up...

2005-08-22T18:31:00.000-07:00

and then he turned on the buzz saw
and then
and then

along came Jones....

Yeah... see it's like this. I haven't been about much lately and not actually being a heroine, I still feel a bit like the gal in this song, only, I'm still waiting for the arrival of Jones..

you know Jones.

slow walkin Jones
slow talkin Jones
... long, lean, lanky Jones.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that life has been rife with unfortunate events (although I have never had the misfortune to see "something nasty in the woodshed") and that has kept me from doing much bloggin' while yet providing me with infinite things to blog about and not time to do so. Most of them are now giggles lost in the fog of my sometimes useless brain.

But here's a brief recount while previewing future things you may read about here...

My computer wound up in the shop for a long while. Which is such a common event, I'll never even bother to write about that...

*ended one job
*started another one
*had cataract surgery twice (one for each eye, thank you) and am still blind about half the time...
*Am getting some weird horrendous injections (shots, mind you) weekly in my knee trying to put off the need for knee replacement surgery a bit longer... (Oh, God I am definitely writing about this)...

So you see life is going on. And as soon as Jones arrives - I promise to get crackin' and get some bloggin done. I actually have a Mabel (church secretary) story nagging at me in my warped brain and I'm bound to get it done and I think I may just post it here...

So, lots of fun ahead, kiddies. Stay tuned or you'll miss all the things coming up in the new fall line up...

Yep-e-do! Someone is making noise fromt he other room. Wait! I think it's Jones.

Man! What took you so long?

Mom: A Very Wise Lady

2005-08-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

Today I had a doctor's appointment out of town and the brakes on my car are getting rather smooshy. I really didn't want to drive it so I asked my Mom if I could use her car asking her to come along for the ride (because sitting around waiting in a doctor's office is such fun when you're 90 years old) and after my appointment we'd do some shopping. She agreed... so as soon as I got out of work off we went.

Mom took a seat in the waiting room and I was immediately called to the nether parts of the building to go through some tests and see the doctor. This was a recheck after my second surgery on my eyes for cataracts. When I came back out, Mom commented that there were some rather odd people she had observed while waiting. She also said she had never been in a doctor's office where people talked so much. Now this is true. There is a strange bonding that takes place among the patients in this doctor's office because you know that everyone else there has been through, is in the process of going through, or will soon discover they are going to go through this cataract surgery. I have to tell you all about the great fun I had... but that's for another day. The main character in this post is my Mom and I was glad that she hadn't sat there bored during the time I was seeing the doctor.

We headed off to Sears, one of Mom's favorite shopping destinations. Walked through the sales racks and both of us bought blouses on sale and were happy with our luck. It seemed early when we headed back to the car so I asked Mom if she'd like to go for ice cream.

"Well, I don't need any ice cream" she informed me. "I don't need any..." is the phrase which often precedes Mom's response to any statement you make to her about eating food. I told her I'd like to treat her and to thank her for coming with me and the use of her car. I also told her that where I was going was TCBY (The Country's Best Yogurt) a favorite treat place for me. I love their sugar free yogurt topped with sugar free berries. That sounded pretty good to Mom too, so she thought it would be alright since it would be good for her and not spoil her supper.

Once inside TCBY Mom found us a table and I went and ordered our sundaes. I sat down and we began talking about just regular stuff and enjoying our treats. Then Mom said to me "I heard on TV this week that it is not good to eat alone."

"Really!" I replied wondering where this was going to go. "Why is that?"

"People who eat alone die younger than those who eat with someone else or they suffer from despression." Mom said.

Well, Mom turns 91 in a couple weeks so I felt pretty sure that she wasn't expecting to die young, so I asked, "So, are you depressed?"

"I don't know," she said to me, perfectly straight faced, and I sucked in my breath wondering what would come next. "So?" I looked at her for some kind of explanation. "Does that mean you are supposed to go out and buy a pet or something."

"I don't know about all that," she said, rewarding me with one of her smug smiles. "I never eat alone."

"No?"

"No, I never eat alone," she continued. "I eat with all my neighbors and anyone who is walking or driving up or down the street." Mom's kitchen table is in front of a window that gives her a view of everything that is happening in her neighborhood. I always have found it comical that Mom watches out her window and knows everyone's business on her street: she knows when they leave their house, come back, have visitors (and usually who they are), if they were having work done, what they planted in their yards and when they went grocery shopping. All of a sudden I had a flash of insight and realizing that what I had considered nosiness was just a way to deal with solitude.

"How very wise you are," I said to her, completely impressed with how wise she really is.

"That's right," she said, "I never eat alone. There's always someone with me when I eat."

Maybe, because of her great dinner companions, she'll live to be a 100. I hope so.

Click here for a picture of Mom at her window taken by my daughter, Jamelah.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamelah/23626616/

Movin' On UP

2005-07-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

Going Full Circle

This is it! The last Hoo-Rah! After working for our fine municipality in various capacities for nearly 20 years, I am finally going to walk through the door the last time as an employee, Friday, July 15th.

It makes me feel a little triumphant.
It makes me feel a little overwhelmed.
It makes me feel a little sad.

I came to work here part-time as the secretary to the City Engineer/Director of Public Works. I quickly fell into step and right away felt like I had come home. I loved working for Bill Rieger who retired and who we unfortunately had to say a final farewell to. Bill treated me well, taught me a lot and when I had opportunities to advance beyond the part time job, he was a tremendous encouragement to me.

I began working in the Assessing Department in 1989 and have been here ever since. I started as the Office Manager, became the property appraiser and finally the Assessor. When I retired on 12/31/2003, I returned to the City in an advisory capacity and worked only 15 hours a week. Unfortunately, like many small cities, our revenues are down and the budget had to be cut and my part time position has finally run out of funding.

Each day I have been bagging up the accumulated junk on my desk and walls (I have a tremendous display of postcards mailed to me from friends around the world,(http://anniefay.net/2004/09/for-my-litkicks-pals-and-other-friends.html) a lot of cds, photographs, candles, and just junk. But it is time to put this part of my life in a box and strap it down with sealing tape; opening only when I need a delightful moment to remember.

I have made fabulous friends, worked in an environment that I enjoyed and had a heavy but challenging work load. Yep, I am going to miss all of that.

But then it is also true that in another respect I am Movin’ on Up! I had felt since the budget for this department was settled last year and I learned that they were only going to be able to budget my salary for ½ of this year, that unless something happened I’d be looking for another part time job some place. Entering the job market at age 63 is not something I was looking forward to. With each prayer I had gotten an assurance that God was looking after me and that I did not have a thing to worry about. I even had a sense that I knew exactly which job I would be doing.

I, of course, put it all down to fanciful thinking, took deep breaths and decided to just “wait and see” because I am rather a “show me and I’ll believe it” kind of girl. Besides I knew there were no vacancies in that particular job market. I thought something would turn up with the City and they’d come up with money from somewhere to keep me around. But time began to tick down and it looked like I’d better rewrite my resume.

Then my pastor approached me one evening and asked if I’d be able to help out in the church office. One of their staff members would be leaving for full time work and they needed someone to help them out. The catch. It was to be volunteer work (uh, that means you don’t actually get paid for it) just one afternoon a week. But I said sure, if I could help, Id be glad to. That was about 6 weeks ago… and then about 2 weeks ago my pastor approached me again. The office secretary had accepted full time work and would be leaving soon. Was I interested in applying for her position (this time I would be paid).

I said sure… and went through the application process and the interview. Then Sunday I was told that the Church Board had voted to hire me as the new secretary. And now I have begun working for the church in the mornings and coming to finish up my last minute tasks in the afternoons for the City.

I am still a little in awe of this entire experience. The City’s budget was to take me through July 15th. The position I was to fill was vacated on Friday July 8th. How everything dove-tailed together. Actually, I guess nothing is really strange when God is directing the events.

God did look out for me. I have a different kind of challenge in front of me and I am sure that I am going to feel at home in this new job also. And yes, this is exactly the position I felt I would eventually work in the day I handed in my resignation and officially retired as the City Assessor about 18 months ago.

There is not doubt about it... even for a "show me" kind of girl. God is faithful. Right now… I just feel well loved and taken care of by my Heavenly Father. I am very thankful.

Time to Go?

2005-06-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

My Mom has a doctor's appointment and I am to pick her up in a couple hours to take her. She just called to let me know that she thought we should probably leave a little early today due to construction on the interstate which has diverted more local traffic to the back roads which is the route we usually take.

I said "OK". She then proceeded to let me know that one HAD to be at the doctor's office at least 10 minutes before your appointment. (Where did this logic come from? Certainly not my generation. We know that after you sign the appointment sheet and find a seat, you will not be called in for your appointment until you actually find something of interest in the magazine you picked up to look at while you were waiting. My experience is that this takes about 30 to 45 minutes, but whatever). So I said "OK" again.

Then Mom proceeded to explain to me the logic as to why she wanted to leave earlier, to just not take any chances with the traffic which might be a little bit heavier. And I said "OK" again. Then she repeated the bit about not wanting to be late. And I said, "OK, no problem."

"Anyway", she said, "I thought it'd be better if we left at least 10 minutes earlier than we had planned." I said "OK" again.

By now I have agreed to pick her up earlier about 5 times and I'm beginning to think, come on Mom, how many times do I have to let you know this is not a big deal. That's when I realized it was important that I let her ramble as much as she needed. You know, hopefully, some day I'll be 90 years old. I have a feeling that the attitude I assume with my Mom will be the example my daughter will assume when dealing with me in the future. I find my mother a bit humorous at times and am certainly not a bit remiss at poking gentle fun of her when I talk to my siblings or my daughter. The truth is, she is the most delightful, bright and beautiful 90 year old woman I have ever known.

I may choose to take a book today or I may decide to just spend the time with her sitting and waiting in the doctor's office. I definitely choose to enjoy this time and be conisderate of who she is. Someday someone else will have to take my poor old bones to the doctor's office and I hope they will enjoy the time they spend with me. I know this is a privilege. This is what I want my Mom to know about the way I feel when it is necessary to take her places. It is never an imposition. It is never something I wish I didn't have to do.

Time for lunch. I've got an important date this afternoon and I am going to leave just a little bit early for it.

Pimped Out?

2005-06-14T06:59:00.000-07:00

I came into work yesterday to find my desk having a look of someone else having been there. Perhaps the biggest clue was that I kept getting "wrong password" message when I tried to log into my computer. When I finally got smart enough to look at the user name I noted that it wasn't automatically ME! What the heck. Since I'm a part timer (I work 15 hrs a week since retiring 18 months ago) I can hardly complain if someone chooses to use my desk some time.

Rick, the New Assessor since I stepped down and who I now come in and assist for those 15 hrs weekly, explained to me that the City Manager, Director of Planning and Community Development, the Superintendent of Public Works and he had spent Friday afternoon working on a project identifying all City property and when and how they were obtained by the City. Rick said the four had not been able to complete the project and would be returning to finish up. I could choose to go home and work later... or I could work from his desk while the 4 of them once again took over my office since all the files they needed were in drawers lined against the opposite wall where my desk sits .

So they arrived, quite apologetically, while I gathered up my stuff to retire to my old assessor's lair to work from what is now Rick's domain. Of course I did not go quietly. I had to razz them about it taking 4 of them to do what I normally do and amid chuckles undaunted by my raised eyebrows I entered the door into the innersanctum. This had been my domain and I thought just walking in and sitting down would be an easy transition. I WAS WRONG!

Rick has a pimped out desk chair. You don't know what a pimped out chair is? Well... in our small community when you see the driver of a car with his seat pushed all the way back and in a semi-reclining position... you say he is "pimping".... Now, I'm trying to figure out how to reach the keyboard when each time I sit down I feel like I am going to fall over backwards. How does anyone work in this position, anyway? I could take a nap in this position. I don't think I could ever work in it. I finally managed by dangling my feet just right (because they don't touch the floor) to manage not to feel like I am about to tip over. I grabbed the keyboard and pulled it over the edge of the desk as far as I could without just putting it in my lap, although I probably should have tried that. I tried to see the file I was working on... gave up and decided to record how much fun I am having.

Finally, I gave up. Slid the pimpchair away from the desk and grabbed one of the visitors chairs and slid it up to the computer. Unfortunately it is not on wheels... and it is the wrong height... and it is not adjustable... and it SUCKS!

This settles it. You can never go back in time. Not ever. Not and feel like you fit there. All of everything around me is in constant flux. Well, most everything... and me... at least I am still the adorable, bright, fun person I have always been.

Where's My Ride?

2005-05-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

So, we had an accident a couple weeks ago with a result of putting one of our vehicles into the body shop for some severe reconstructive rear end surgery. That leaves me and the kid sharing a ride until we get the other car back. It's not like that is a hard thing, because honestly, our schedules mesh fairly well so that there is not much of a conflict.

Then, the guy I work with decided he'd like a week off and asked if I would work full time this week (normally I only work 15 hrs a week) so now I'm pulling 40 hours and trying to stay awake a full day plus having to shuffle around for a ride. My daughter's work day begins at 9am and since her place of employment is only a few steps from my place of work, I simply run out the door here and pick her up. When she finishes up she walks over gets the car, and then comes back here to fetch me home at 5. Simple plan.

Now, a while ago, when she was way less responsible, and things like staring at Brad Pitt in a wet shirt, could get her so side tracked she'd forget to come get me, I used to sit and stew while waiting on the car to come wheeling up the street to pick me up. So, of course, last night, the first night she had to "fetch me" I really expected to have to call her and remind her that she had forgotten her poor old decrepit mother.

I walked down the steps of City Hall at 5. Looked up and down the street at the parking spaces in front of the building, and not to my surprise, none of the spaces were filled with our car. "Just as I thought", so I sat myself down on a bench at the bottom of the steps and prepared to get agitated. Offers for rides started rolling in as one after another of my co-workers left the building and passed me sitting there. I kept confirming that I had a ride, but still couldn't see our car headed up the street, so decided to give the kid a call and kindly remind her that I was sitting stranded in front of City Hall. No answer at home. Then she would be here any second now, because, heck it's just a 5 minute drive. I decided I'd play Tetris on my phone while waiting and began trying to open the menu and get to the game. (yeah, that didn't work)

Totally, frustrated, I was interrupted when a gentleman who had been in my office earlier doing research opened his car door, hailed me and asked "Is that your ride?" and pointed to my daughter now parked directly across the street from me. "Oh, yeah, thanks" I smiled and feeling like a total goof got up, crossed the street and piled into the car.

My daughter is now having some kind of fit. It seems she had been unable to find a parking place on the street when she arrived early, so had parked in the city lot across the street. She said "You looked right at me, then just sat down. Then, I tried to call you on your cell phone and say 'look up' but you were trying to call me and your line was busy." She laughed some more at me, then said, "I finally just gave up and when the parking place emptied I moved over to the street space and YOU STILL DIDN'T SEE ME!" She then looked me like I was completely senile, since evidently I am. "I don't think you would have ever seen me if that guy hadn't told you I was parked here. I thought I was going to have to get out of the car and go get you."

She's probably right. And lets give her credit. She was on time, she didn't forget me, at all. So there's that. Of course, that was the first day of the week. I hope for the rest of the week I'll be able to find her when I finally finish my 8 hours of hard work and stumble exhaustedly down the front steps of City Hall. One deserves to be chauffered after a hard days work in the mines.

Could You Move His Blood?

2005-05-11T15:52:00.000-07:00

It is definitely spring. The neighbors grandkids are noisily playing outside and they always just kind of pour on over into our yard. There is something fascinating about our drive which has always been a big attraction to kids in the neighborhood, especially when there are no cars parked in it. (I say that like I don't know what it is... but I do. We sit on a hill and have a very steep drive. It is great for all types playing, but especially riding bikes down at a breakneck speed out into the road. Even the smaller kids love the speed they get up to on their Big Wheels. Yeah, it's scarey but thankfully no one has gotten killed or maimed yet!)

In the case of the neighbor's grandkids, it is more of an expansion of their small yard into our's, giving them a greater area in which to grow their imaginations. Trust me, these kids do not lack in the imagination department. It makes having them about just a tad bit entertaining. So when I heard their chattery noise I looked out the window to make sure it was them and quickly ascertained that it was. I watched them for a few minutes surprised at how much they had grown over the winter when they hadn't been tromping about our yard. They were completely oblivious to me staring at them from my living room window and went on about racing up and down our drive, spilling back down the hill into their grandparent's yard, plastic, colorful guns extended outwards, happily shooting each other and falling over dead as the action dictated they should. I grinned to myself, let the curtain drop and returned to the unimaginative task I had been doing before I went to spy on them.

I lost myself in reading when the jangling of the phone jarred me back to reality and I hurried to pick up the phone. My daughter was calling about some silly question or other and I was surprised when I checked the time to see that she would be speeding up the drive in just a few more minutes. I decided it was time to de-kid the drive before we wound up with various mangled body parts scattered over our yard and the neighbors.

I stood in the door watching one of the boys, squatting down, busily tearing something to bits and piling it in a nice little pile in the drive; right about the place where the front tire on the car usually comes to a halt. I was a bit curious about the characteristics of said pile, like did it contain any sharp pointy bits, you know? I called out to the kids and mentioned that my daughter would be coming in from work in just couple minutes and asked if they would leave the drive. They just stood there looking at me as if they were trying to figure out if they should shoot me with one of their guns or tie me up to a tree somewhere.

The boy creating the pile, stood and looked over at me, and then said "Somebody broke a pen and left it right here. See it's all torn up" he pointed at the bits and pieces in the drive.

"I see they did," I replied giving no indication that I knew exactly who somebody was.

He looked at me quite seriously, "You see, we're pretending that that's his blood there" not bothering to enlarge upon exactly whose blood his blood was, yet pointing to the stack of bits and pieces on the drive and the puddle of black underneath.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm! Looks like thats working really well" I said, shaking my head up and down in mock seriousness. "So, do you suppose you might be able to move his blood and parts out of the drive. Perhaps if you rush it to the hospital they can reinfuse it back into him."

He gave me one of those "kid glaring at a crazy adult" looks, shrugged his shoulders and continuted to stare at the puddle of blood on the drive. He kicked the pile with his foot, scattering the bits and pieces then trundled off the drive and back down the incline into his grandfather's yard, raising his gun into the air and firing off a volley as he ran after the other kids who were dissappearing around the corner of their grandparent's house. I grinned and walked back into the house just as I heard my daughter rev up the hill into the drive.

Another day safe fom the venomous evil ones that haunt our neighborhood. The only indication remaining behind of the close call we had was a dark puddle of blood in the driveway that still marks the spot where the poor, injured/dead, friend/foe suffered a fateful blast that ended his life/removed him from action... until the next sunny day when no cars will be parked in the drive.

OCD? Moi? I Think Not!

2005-05-09T06:58:00.000-07:00

My daughter has always raised a skeptical eyebrow in my direction due to my eating habits. I like getting my food carefully organized and then going about eating it in sections. In other words, I have to eat all my carrots, then my potatoes, then my meat, or whatever, always saving what I like best for last. And M&Ms ... if I buy a bag, they have to all be sorted by color and then eaten in some order I dictate to myself at the time, usually having to do with beginning with the M&Ms of the least amount. You know if I have 3 yellow, 5 reds, 6 greens... well that is the order in which they must be eaten.

Now, I'm sure you are finding this really fascinating, as would anybody, or you are raising a skepital eyebrow thinking me to be entirely weird. But since I am now taking a break and to go with my cup of coffee, I just bought a bag of animal crackers out of the candy machine... I find myself sitting here sorting my animals so I'll know which one I have the most of this time (it's hippos), I realized this was a fun little oddity about myself and that maybe I'd just share it with you for the heck of it. I quickly made the decision and started typing right after I popped a headless camel into my mouth.... hmmmm, sweet flavored cardboard. yummmmy!

Oh, the headless camel? Well, I have to eat all the broken pieces before I am allowed to start on the intact ones. Wow! I have quite a menagerie this morning. Since you are dying of curiosity, just so you'll know, the fewest ones are ponies, owls and bunny rabbits. I guess I'll eat the bunnies first. But wait! they're so cute, maybe I should save them for last just to be different. Ahhh, decisions.

Please remember, I said this was a little oddity about myself. I am not OCD... at least not a lot! Besides at my age it's OK to wear purple (which I'm doing today) and its OK to have a few little personality quirks. I like all my quirks and plan to keep them. Oh, Would you like a hippo? I have lots.

TV That Doesn't Suck? No Way!

2005-04-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

The last few years have created a total dearth as far as TV viewing is concerned. I had a couple shows I watched faithfully, ER and Law & Order. Then they decided to cram Law & Order down my throat and every time I switched on the TV I found an episode playing on some channel somewhere. Not knowing the old addage too much of a good thing, they had to add new Law and Orders, and I found myself suffering from severe overkill. I just rather lost interest, although I do admit to actually liking the Criminal Intent version, but it is the main character that captures my interest. He's a bit weird, in a twisted sort of way that fascinates me.

This year I find I am watching ER less and less and with them advertising that it is the last season that Carter will be a regular, well... ho-hum. None of the remaining characters are remotely interesting. I am not watching the show just to see "hot doc" struggle with his weirdo girlfriend and her kid. That story line belongs on Lifetime TV, which I just don't watch.

So the last couple years I have resigned myself to watching The Discovery Channel and telling them they are not documenting what they are saying with real facts, but with a lot of supposed theories, still learning some interesting stuff. Of course there is the Food Network and Iron Chef cookoffs. It's sort of like watching golf, but with a lot of adrenaline and extra stress added. You have these guys cooking up a storm while some guy over in a corner speculates on exactly what the heck it is they are doing. It can be a bit fun at times but on occasion is about as entertaining as having a root canal. That left me with watching VH-1 and all those nifty trips down memory lane with insolent comments thrown in by sarcastic pundits. Please! I'm not really watching this tripe, am I? That leaves me with endless hours of relaxing moments watching HGTV over the ironic comments of my daughter who finds the ongoing episodes of Design on a Dime a genuine waste of time.

But what has happened this year? I began with Desperate Housewives which I found mildly amusing. That lasted about 8 espisodes and I was sick and tired of all the sexual crap and quickly just didn't bother to watch it at all. But LOST, oh come on! I am hopelessly addicted. How did this happen? Then mid-season they began House and I watched this show exactly one time and knew they had better not cancel it. I love this onery doctor. I really do! And then Numb3rs aired on a Friday night and once again I find myself fascinated by a new show. I'm not sure why I like the show. Maybe because it takes a different perspective on fighting crime and, honestly, I'm sick to death of the CSI shows (well I still watch the Vegas one) simply because I have felt the urge to run into the bathroom and hurl. It seems they just want to gross you out at times or present something so total sicko, because evidently this is the kind of tripe people are truly entertained by these days.

Well, that's it! Now I'm turning back into a TV junkie. There is something on TV every night but Saturday and Sunday which I don't want to miss. On Mondays? Oh... I didn't say did I? Well I watch Raymond and 2 1/2 Men, but maybe not for long, since this is Raymond's last year. I haven't found myself such a dedicated fan of TV shows since I was addicted to Homecide, Life on the Streets. Why the heck did they ever take that show off TV, anyway? So, Here's to my 3 new favorites: Lost, House and Numb3rs. Hope they're out there long enough to be more than a cult phenomenon. I hope I'm not putting a hex on them by writing this.

Then it turned green

2005-04-21T08:53:00.000-07:00

We were stuck in the this endless cycle of suck. Winter held and continued to freeze us to death. Then all of a sudden one Sunday the sun snuck out and the climate began warming. It liked it so well that it just kept hanging around and before we knew it things began looking like spring. Everthing was tinted green. The blooming trees turned into a riot of blossoms and my heart began a lighter rhythm of beating.

I love spring. I love watching the farm fields begin turning into something. Winter wheat peeks up through the ground and acres of fields appear as perfectly manicured lawns undulating across the hills interrupted by trees which haven't bothered to get dressed yet. Everything is electrically charged with a new sense of coming back to life. The migrating birds are flying overhead and the noisy ones have started singing outside my window in the early morning light.

Now, we were in an endless cycle of sunshine and golden days. The skies were so clear that the only mark across their expanse were whitened jet trails dissappearing into long streaks of cloud puffs. The weatherman began describing our climate as dangerously arid and I wondered if the guy had ever been in an arid climate in his life.

That got fixed this week when an outrageous thunderstorm struck in the early morning, flashing blinding light through my bedroom windows and booming in a tirade against the idea that we live in an arid clime. I rolled over, stared at the time and realized I still had 30 more minutes of serious sleep time and refused to have it stolen from me. I wrapped the covers around my head then realized that in this electrical storm I was hooked up to a device that if lightening strikes the house, I definitely am going to get my sinuses cleaned out... like permanently... and my brain fried during the procedure. I began to wonder if anyone connected to a "sleep machine" had ever been struck by lightening while they were innocently snoozing safely in their beds. I quickly decided this was not a good line of thought at the time and decided I could check into it later. Of course, there's that quote by the infamous they "you have a greater chance of being struck by lightening than winning the lottery" and I realized that since I have never won the lottery, maybe I am meant to be struck by lightening.

Screw it. I'm going back to sleep. Chances are if I do get struck by lightening, I won't live to tell about it but won't my daughter have an interesting story to tell the grandkids... well when they finally get to come into existince. I can hear it now, "You know your grandma enjoyed doing things up big. Even in death, she had to go out being smitten by the awesome hand of God." Wow! Go figure. I hope they put something like that on my crematory urn.

Sizzled by lightening! Nothing left here but ashes.

Home Stretch Greased With a Little Jelly

2005-04-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

NOTE: This post with the following posts concludes my adventure/life experience in being diagnosed with sleep apnea. The posts (if you want to read them in order) are

1. Darth Vader, Man of My Dreams
2. On Becoming Ms. Darth Vader
3. A Journey to the Dark Side
4. Of Umbilical Cords

I find I am actually tolerating The Machine and feeling like I can handle it after all. It's not like I want to be tied to this contraption every night when I go to bed, but the truth is, I can actually tell that I feel better when I do tie myself up to it.

Since I wanted to tolerate the machine more, I was happy when I stumbled over a post on the manufacturer's bulletin board regarding having a sore nose. Those who have been using this equipment for a few years are sharing how a little lubricant called K-Y jelly up the nose alleviates the discomfort. So off to the drugstore I went to buy the jelly stuff but just in case they didn't carry it I took a list of other products others recommended on the site like pure lanolin and bee's wax. I handed my list to the druggest and asked if they carried any of the items. He stated they keep the K-Y jelly and the lanolin in stock, which would I like to try. Since neither was expensive I figured I'd try a tube of both. If one didn't work, surely the other would.

As I turned from the counter with my 2 tubes of lubricant I noted that a line had now formed behind me and most were looking at me curiously with that some kind of look on their faces. I thought nothing of it and figured they were just wishing the gray haired lady would get her junk and get out the way so they could get their junk.

After supper, I decided to look over what i had bought, so I pulled out my bag from the druggist and sat down at the table to read the instuctions while I finished my tea. My daughter looked over at me and said "Is that K-Y Jelly?"

"Why yes!"

"Don't tell me," she added, "you're going to stick that up your nose, right?"

"Yeah, why? It's supposed to keep your nasal passages from getting so dried out at night."

She laughed, reached for the tube and began reading the instuctions to me. Well she tried between fits and giggles. And since mostly the user was instructed to apply "liberally" to the codom... but not too "liberally" I soon found myself joining in her laughter.

Then I explained about the strange looks of those waiting in line behind me at the drugstore. "I'll bet they were wondering just why this gray haired old woman was planning to do with K-Y Jelly."

That's OK. Sometimes one needs to make the world stop and just reconsider things, eh?

Whatever, it worked. I have finally adjusted to having tubes sticking out my head, I roll over at night completely unaware of them. I have even added a couple strips of tape to help keep my mouth shut. My daughter looked at me the other night just before I jumped into bed and nearly suffered a stroke from laughing at the comical image I now am at bedtime. Happily my eyes are closed so I don't laugh myself silly. All I'd doing is heading off to la-la land and a good nights sleep.

And that is a Great thing.

Of Umbilical Cords

2005-03-25T09:24:00.000-08:00

Umbilical Cords(part 3)

I settle into my routine. I have a doctor’s appointment in April and figure I’ll learn all about the results of the exciting 2 nights of studies at that time. I was surprised when I answered the phone and a very pleasant voice introduced himself and said “Dr Meyer called and has ordered your CPAP (Sleep Machine) and I’d like to set up an appointment and bring it over to you.”

I, of course, want to know who exactly this guy is and what on earth he is talking about. You see I had talked to people and this wasn’t the way it had worked for them. He explained that my doctor, after the results of the 2 sleep studies, had determined that I needed to be treated for sleep apnea and had prescribed CPAP equipment for me to use. Well, I was a bit obstinate and argued with him, for some reason, and gave him a bad time. I certainly wasn’t ready to get hooked up to anything like what I had experienced at the hospital sleep lab. Finally, I caved and set up a time for him to bring the damnable equipment over to the house. I might as well get started with this therapy. After all, it didn’t look like it was going to be a matter of choice.

So a couple afternoons later, over came Jason, or My Connection if you will, with my Sleep Machine. He sat down with me at the dining room table and explained the different components of the equipment and how they worked. What I could do and what I could NOT do. It came with a warm humidifier, so that bridge was crossed. And the mask didn’t look anything like the horrific stuff I’d been hooked up to in the hospital, however, it is hooked into the machine (computerized device programed to MY specific needs) by a 6 ft hose. Nothing like going to be every night with an umbilical cord attached to your nose.

He explained how the mask he had brought worked and how easy it was to use. He said it would take time to adjust and not to expect to use the machine more than a couple hours the first night and then to slowly add more time as I learned to tolerate it. He actually tried to make me think I would come to love having hose stuck up my nose exhausting warn damp air into my nasal cavity all night long. Yeah, he was not right about that. Although I did tolerate it for about 2 hours the first night.

The second night, I was determined to make it work. After all, I had to, didn’t I? So I managed to keep it on most of the night. However, the mask did not allow me to sleep except in one position. This left me twisted and cranky and sore, but I had to admit that I actually felt less tired than I usually did in the morning. So, yeah, I conceded it would probably work, but I also decided there must be something about this whole bizness that I was missing. Well, when all else fails read the manual. I pulled out the books that had come with the equipment and began reading. I redid things, tried again, still couldn’t tolerate the machine. I just was giving up and could find no other way to sleep except on one side or flat out on my back. By now my back is killing me and I’m thinking the treatment is worse than the problem.

By weekend, I have checked into my manufacturer’s website and thankfully found it had a bulletin board. I began reading the posts and it was like joining a support group. All kinds of advice and helpful hints. The first thing I learned was that I needed to try another mask. So, Monday I called My Connection and he came over the next day with a new mask. It was a lot different than the one he had started me out with. It was more like the one in the hospital, in that the device was inserted right up my nose. The tubing went behind my ears and I found I could roll back and forth with no restrictions. I slept for 4 hours that first night with the new mask. I actually climbed out of bed the next day without feeling like I just needed to go someplace quiet for a few weeks and sleep nonstop around the clock.

The second night with the new mask, I began to play around a bit and get inventive. I actually found a way to clip the tubing pony tail style behind my head, so that it was completely out of my way. I found this position actually worked better with the equipment then the prescribed way of attaching it to the head. I slept even better that night, but woke up with a booming headache and my throat and nose so dry I just wanted to drink 3 cans of soda to feel some kind of tingle in my throat again.

But I was… finally… feeling like this whole thing was going to be OK... maybe? What could be more comforting than going to be each night with an umbilical cord attached to a soft humming, light giving machine? What?

Visiting the Dark Side

2005-03-25T09:22:00.000-08:00

It was such a relief to have the worst of this process behind me. Ha! Little did I know that the worst was yet to come.

Early into the next week the Scheduler from the Sleep Lab called to set me up with my second sleep study. “What? Second study? Why?”

I had passed the first study with flying colors and been diagnosed with sleep apnea. The doctor had ordered the second study to determine proper treatment. Why had I thought a second study would be given only if I didn’t “pass” the first study?

So a week later, I bundled myself off to the hospital for another night’s stay. Heck, it hadn’t been so bad, a few wires, but I had slept. This time I was an old hand at the routine, I only brought one pillow and arrived ready for bed, already in my jammies. What was the point of wearing street clothes? It’s not like I wasn’t going to sleep in my sweats anyway. They had obviously set the thermostat on “arctic cold” and so I was wrapped up in layers with my warmest hoodie to keep me cozy this time. So clever me.

I had the same attendant and we went through the Hook up bizness like the old pros that we were. She asked if I breathed through my mouth when I slept. Well, usually through my nose, but sometimes I did sleep with my mouth open. Who doesn’t, for cryin out loud? Then came the introduction of the “sleep machine” which looked like a clear plastic, full face gas mask with a vacuum cleaner hose stuck out one end of it. She actually planned to stick this device on my head so they could “gauge” how I breathed. Yeah, that mask stayed in place about 15 seconds before I was clawing it off, yelling “I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe! Is that gauged enough?”

”OK” she said. “We’ll have to try another mask.”

Whatever!!! This time she came back with one that looked a little friendlier and only covered my nose. She snapped it in place, warned me that I must keep my mouth closed at all times. She then asked if I would need a “strap” to wrap about my head to assure that I would keep my mouth closed and only breathe through my nose. I told her it was totally unnecessary. Right! Come on. You’d have said the same thing. She made sure she had me properly connected to all her dials and gadgets. Turned off the lights and happily tripped down the hall to monitor the computer hooked up to me and catch a little late night TV. I did my best to find a way to lie down but found myself gasping for air frequently. This required my opening my mouth, naturally. After about 15 minutes of trying to breathe into the mask only, I realized it was a no go. I pulled the mask off my face and little Miss Suzie Sunshine was back through the door in a flash. “Sorry, I feel like I’m being suffocated. I just can’t do this.”

“OK” she said, “well let me call my supervisor and I’ll be right back.”

Yeah, Honey you just do that. I was wondering if perhaps this would be the time I was going to fail the test when back she comes with yet another mask. Cripes. How many of these things do these people have anyway? This one is a small tube device with a fitting that (believe it or not) fits right up my nose. Wheeeeeeee! But it works. I finally am able to tolerate having air forced into my nasal cavity at the force of hurricane gale. Of course, it’s only a few minutes before I’m yelling “Uncle” again. My nose is so dried out I can’t stand it.

Suzie Sunshine now adds a humidifier to my equipment. I finally manage to doze off and sleep for about an hour. I awake in pain. My nose feels like it’s on fire. I know I’ll never be able to tolerate this “treatment”! I’d rather be sleep deprived the rest of my life. Whatever. I’m going to take a break and head for the bathroom. After my pit stop, Suzie is back to get me started over again. I ask if there is something I can have to relieve the dryness in my nose and explain that it is so dry it actually hurts.

This time she didn’t have to go call her supervisor. She said the next step was to try a “warm humidifier” which used to replace the cool humidifier. I am soon hooked back up. There is some problem getting the hoses stuck up my nose to stay in place which she solves with a roll of tape. She simply tapes the non-compliant device down to my face (you can bet by now, I'm realy CUTE). I soon catch the rhythm (I have since learned that the computer in the machine actually matches your breathing rhythm, instead of you trying to match its) and in utter amazement find myself waking up a couple hours later afraid to move. I do not want to dislodge anything, so decide to just tough it out until morning. I turn over and finally doze a bit and then Suzie is there to tell me it’s morning and time to go home.

I pull my coat on and head out the ER exit. Thankfully, there is no snow, my windows are NOT iced over and my doors aren’t frozen shut. I take a deep breath, climb into my car and head home. Nothing had been said about ever having to come back for a 3rd study. The worst was definitely behind me now.

On Becoming Ms. Vader

2005-03-25T09:20:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago (or was it months) I mentioned my doctor’s suspicion that I had something called “sleep apnea”. Well, what fun! So anyway, I thought it was time to get back here and update you with all the exciting adventures I and Darth Vader have been having since then.

My adventure began with an overnight stay for a “sleep study” at a nearby hospital. They checked me in through the ER and a young woman came and escorted me (they instructed me to bring my own pillows, pajamas, and a change of clothes) and my huge bag of paraphernalia to the Sleep Lab which was located in a windowless tomb of a place just off the rehabilitation wing in the basement. The room was OK… it had a large double bed to delude you into thinking they wanted you to get a good night’s rest. Whatever!

I was told to do my usual night routine (how? there’s no TV in here. There’s a recliner, so I could conceivably fall asleep in the recliner while pretending to watch TV then get up and stumble off to bed, but somehow it just wasn’t the same), so I happily pretend to comply. After washing up, getting into my jammies, and such the young lab worker returned to hook me to about 5,000 wires connected to a computer in the closet next to the bed. I have heart monitors to check if I’m still alive, wires to my face, legs, eyebrows, head, nose, mouth, glued to my hair, on the end of my finger to see if I’m getting enough oxygen, then, in that way too cheerful voice, she says, “OK, I’ll just turn off the lights while you get some sleep.” You bet your life, sweetie pie, I’m all about going to sleep now. I gave myself a good talking to curled up with all those wires protruding out of me, and quietly passed out. This was not something I ever wanted to have to experience twice in my lifetime.

The night ended with only a couple interruptions to take a walk to the bathroom. In the morning, my torturer came to disconnect me, but I rather figured I needed to head for the bathroom first. For the first time I saw my reflection in the mirror over the sink. I nearly passed out laughing at the weird woman staring back at me. Wires everywhere with all different colored endings on them. My hair sticking up every which way it could stick and me looking like something straight out of a science fiction movie. I had everything to match the description except for the metal bowl which should have been screwed to the top of my head with a large antenna sticking out of it.

After my return from the john, the attendant proceeded to disconnect me, letting me know that all the jells and goop would easily wash off in the shower. Well, can’t wait for that. She nicely wished me well and said everything looked fine and she wouldn’t see me again unless they needed a second sleep study done. Fat chance I would let them put me through that again. I had slept quite nicely and was sure, since I had heeded my own advice, I wouldn’t have to come back again. I headed out into the still dark freezing cold, only to find my car doors frozen shut and wishing I’d put this experience off until the weather was at least tolerable. After a few attacks on the doors of the car, I finally got the one on the passenger side to open up to my urgent pleas, and managed to hurl my considerable heft into some type form that got me past the gear shift and bucket seats, so I was able to push the door open on the driver’s side. I got the motor warming, the rear window defroster started, found the ice scraper and began removing the snow and ice off the stupid car. Why on earth had I not waited until spring to have this damn test done, anyway. What was I thinking. I didn’t need to spend a night in a sleep lab. That fact alone showed that I was totally operating with an oxygen starved brain.

Well, at least step one was behind me.

So I Checked the Weather

2005-02-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

for Punxsutawney, PA and learned that they are having a nice sun shiny day. Well, isn't that awesome?

Of course, I really could care less, what the weather is in Penn’s Woods, but since our future the next six weeks is determined by some woodchuck kind of creature named Punxsutawney Phil, today I have a vested interest in their weather.

At first I was all excited about the sunshine because that meant only six weeks of foul cold left this year. But then I revisited the legend and learned that his shadow is exactly what you don't want Phil to see today. And since this whole thing relates as to whether he sees or doesn't see his shadow, I'm wondering about the other factors one might need to consider in this scenario.

For instance, what if Phil was out late last night and awoke this morning with an upset stomach and severe headache. Let's just say he was celebrating this day where he was getting all this media hype and he was feeling rather tightly wound so he had a little something to take the edge off. This morning he wakes up in a rather bad mood and says "Forget those bums, I'm sleeping in today." and refuses to leave his nice warm den.

But suppose, despite his determination to take a sick day from work with the headache and all, his boss calls him a bum, since he only works one a day a year anyway, and says HE HAS TO show up. So he wears his dark sunglasses, pulls the brim of his ballcap down over his swollen eyes so that no one can tell that he actually can't see anything, period. It wouldn't be the first time a body showed up to work yet in all actuality, wasn't there at all.

Or suppose, some smart aleck in the crowd, brings an umbrella... just suppose this jerk likes snow mobiling as some crazy people I know do, and sticks this umbrella up over ole Phil's head, alas NO SHADOW for Phil there.

I'm just saying, suppose something totally unexpected happened and whether or not Phil got to see his shadow had absolutely nothing to do with the weather, then what? Huh? Huh?

Of course worse things could be happening. You could get stuck in some cruel time warp like Bill Murray did and never get beyond February 2nd until you figured out what you were doing wrong in your life. In my case I might have to relive that day adinfinitum. How scary. That was a really cold day.

Whatever... I say Happy Ground Hogs Day, one and all! No matter how it comes out... we will either have milder weather beginning right now, or worse come to worse, we still have only SIX WEEKS OF WINTER LEFT. I can handle that! I say it's time to throw a party. I have wine waiting on the lower shelf of my fridge for just such an occasion as this. Just cause to bust that box open, eh! Partay Time!

Darth Vader, Man of My Dreams

2005-01-03T13:21:00.000-08:00

So, it was getting pretty bad. I was draggin' my sorry self around half dead all the time. When I got hit by what I thought was a mild case of flu after Christmas and spent 2 days sleeping around the clock, I had to admit there was something going on so I hauled myself off to see the doctor.

I bemoaned my exhausted state, denying that it could in anyway be connected with the fact that I am aging, according to me, quite nicely, thank you very much. "Hhmmmm," says my doctor in his friendliest Shrek voice (my doctor's name is Mike Meyer, although he looks more like Ichabod Crane than Shrek), "sounds like you may not be getting enough oxygen to your brain."

"What?" I'm looking at him askance, with one eyebrow crocked in my best "what you talkin 'bout Willis" look.

"Sounds like you may have sleep apnea," he explained. "When this happens your brain doesn't get enough oxygen while you are sleeping and you have exactly the symptoms you have just described. Sounds like a classic case. In fact, it's quite common. More often in overweight men than women. But as a person ages, their chances of having this problem increases."

Damn, can this doctor stick his foot in his mouth or what? In just 2 sentences he's told me my brain is starving for oxygen, evidently because I'm old and fat (although not male).

"Ummm, well" I reply, just slightly befuddled.

"What we need to do is have you tested. We'll set you up to spend the night in the hospital and they'll be able to tell you before you leave if you are suffering from this condition, and exactly what you need to start feeling better."

I'm still looking at the doctor like he has just taken one eye out of his head, nicely shined it up and stuck it right back in, without skipping a beat. "It's easily treated." (He's still talking... crap, did I just doze off or something, here) "We'll prescribe a sleep device for you so that when you sleep you will not be deprived of oxygen, and in no time you will be feeling a lot better."

Like I can keep up with what he is telling me. I'm still trying to get past the aging/overweight thing. Excuse me, please, but my brain evidently needs some oxygen, LIKE RIGHT NOW!

"You'll find it a little difficult to adjust to sleeping with a device on your face, but you will." the Doctor says, as I find myself thinking of Darth Vader's asthma like wheeze invading my night space and wondering how I'm supposed to go to sleep with that image floating in and out of my oxygen starved brain.

"You'll be amazed at the difference it will make. It's not a cure all, but you won't be exhausted all the time. But first we have to get you tested, OK?" the Doctor says.

"Whatever you think best, Dr. Vader" I mumble under my breath, and he looks at me drawing his eyebrows together and wrinkling up his forehead. "Ha!" he exclaims, "good one". He walks me back to the receptionist's desk with his arm casually draped across my shoulder in a comradely fashion, drops me off asking her to schedule me in at the Sleep Lab, gives me a pat on the back and mumbles as he glides back down the hall "May the force be with you. Ha-Ha!"

Holy Freezerburn, Bat Man!

2004-12-25T03:51:00.000-08:00

Yipes. Our winter wonderland is awesome. Just like the pictures in all the pretty books. The snow that fell a couple days ago is still fresh appearing by the light dusting of snow that has kept it white and the subnormal temps that preserves it from getting that yellow melty look.

We had been warned that last night would be the coldest yet. My Mom and I forewent a tradition of driving around on Christmas eve to "look at the lights" due to the low temps. Around 9pm Mom called to remind me to leave the cabinet doors open in front of my kitchen sink. The pipes have a habit of freezing since the connecting one travels right in front of the window in the basement. I thanked her for the reminder and grinned as I walked back to my recliner past the doors which I had left open after finishing up the supper dishes.

We were popping in A Christmas Story to watch and would be watching It's A Beautiful Life after dinner at Mom's tomorrow. That's a perfect time to see it. If you happen to doze off due to the slight discomforts of too much food consumed, you wake up in familiar territory and don't really feel like you've missed anything.

I woke up this beautiful Christmas day. A quick check of the kitchen sink, let me know that the pipes hadn't frozen, so Mom's advice still works. Good, I need that hot coffee. Checked my email and gasped at the temperature displayed on my "home page". "Low: -11F." Yipes! It would reach that low at about 7am. I had an hour to go before it got as cold as it was going to get. I shivered just thinking about it and went and grabbed a fleece topper and pulled it on over my flannel jammies. Burrrrr! This is just too cold. With the windchill outside it should be about 20 below zero out there.

Of course, once it gets to a certain "cold" it is just cold and you don't know much besides bundling up really good when you go outside. Since my childgood I have been told that Michigan remains warmer than the states just west of us because the Great Lakes warm the atmosphere overhead. This is usually true. Minnesota and Wisconsin is always quite a bit colder than it is here.

But for here, it is just cold. I'm going to turn on the oven to get ready for the baked goods I'm making for dinner later today, keep snuggly warm in my flannel and fleece, wrap my hands around my coffee mug to warm them from time to time, celebrate Christmas without my teeth chattering, thankful for a good gas fired furnace. To all of you, wishes for a Happy Holiday and a very warm and merry Christmas.

A Basketful of Christmas

2004-12-24T10:43:00.000-08:00

Every year UPS delivers a delightful hand filled basket of goodies to our house. It is the gift my brother ships us from just west of Chicago land. The first year the basket arrived we thought it would be best to save it until Christmas morning; didn’t seem right to open it earlier. We had no idea what was inside. When we did open it, we found it packed with beautiful fruit, some of which had not endured the time sitting under our tree close to the heat vent. We learned from that experience to always open the present as soon as Mr Brown dropped it at our door.

The baskets are always beautiful and the goodies are always unique. Sometimes it will have a theme of breakfast goodies and come stuffed with interesting pancake mixes, syrups, sausages and jellies. Whatever the theme, whatever the goodies inside, we always feel like Santa just dropped a whole bag of cheer right into our living room via UPS.

This year with all the fuss over the big storm aggressively heading our way we rather lost sight of anything much, except checking to see if the storm had hit yet. The mailman had come and night had fallen and we decided we weren’t going to do anything so we curled up in our jammies and comforters and watched videos. The next morning I rushed to the door to have a peek and see how much fluffy white goodness had come to bless us. From the window it didn’t look too bad.

My first surprise came when I opened the door (the inner door swings in, the storm door swings out) and found I had to really push to get the storm door open. That meant there was more than 4” of snow on my front porch. I stared at the white stuff when I finally realized that snow wasn’t the only thing that had dropped out of the sky. In the early dawn I could see a large box now nearly covered with snow. I couldn’t guess when it was parked there. This was going to be fun. It would take a broom, hopefully not a shovel, to get that box inside. I figured I’d better get dressed since I was definitely going to need boots and I was soon brushing the powdery fluff off the porch. I dragged the box inside with a loud, “wheh!" full well knowing, any fruit inside that box is surely frozen by now, since record lows had been predicted for the night.

We waited until the sun came up, breakfast had been cooked and eaten and decided it was time to open our box. The theme this year seemed to be goodies of the best kinds. Yummy cookies, candy with caramel, nuts, peppermint, a package of pancake mix, a package of cookies which my daughter tore into and said “hey, this tastes just like key lime pie”. She was right, they did. A special card from my brother was the last thing we opened and read the Christmas greetings. Then we both exclaimed over the basket itself. It was woven of dark woods and interwoven into the warp and woof was a vine of holly berries and leaves. It is one of the most beautiful baskets I have ever seen. It will deserve a special place here at home to be appreciated by everyone, all year round.

One thing for sure, when the basket arrives it is always a fun time of expectancy and laughter. For sure, nothing says lovin like a basket from my brother. It just sings jingle bells in my heart and keeps me smiling all day.

I'm Freezing

2004-12-14T09:49:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I am freezing. Of course it is cold up here in Michigan, but why do I have to freeze. Why? I've never really noticed being this cold when winter blasted in with cold north winds and began the task of chilling me to the bones. I have a good furnace, warm clothing, gloves, a hat; no problem.

But this year, for some reason. I'm freezing! I get cold and find it impossible to get warm. My nose is constantly cold, just like a poor sick puppy. I'm not sick mind you, I don't even have a cold... cold is what I am, not what I have.

I am bundled up in a heavy sweater, still I am cold. I wake up in the middle of the night with my teeth chattering and bundle up in extra blankets which never get me warm enough to fall back asleep until right before the alarm goes bellering off.

I wonder when I shall be warm again. I wonder when my lips will no longer be blue, I wonder when my toes will stop screaming when I take off my shoes. I wonder when...

Wait! I know. Right about July 4. I don't know if I can wait. I should move to Australia.

Greetings from here

2004-12-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

to you ... Merry Christmas!

It's hard to believe that the month of December has arrived. It is harder still to believe that it is rapidly vanishing into a long line of yesterdays and Christmases Past.

We had decided last year to just skip Christmas before John Grisham came up with the idea in his book which turned into a Christmas movie for this year. We put out no decorations. We forewarned relatives and friends that we pretty much were going to not be doing all the mad shopping and to not look for something from Santa from our direction. We were cutting back on the insanity. No Christmas shopping. Can you even conceive that? It was like this huge blanket of frustration was stripped from me and I slowly began to grin and then to quietly enjoy the season.

Now this year is here and after last year's vacation I am determined to not buy into the madness again. However we are reinstating some of our Christmas traditions. We have always put up our tree the first Saturday in December. So with great humor, Christmas carols blaring we joyfully went to work. Now every year some horrible disaster happens when we put up our tree. I have some stories to tell... but that's not for today. This year we were excited because everything was going well. Commenting on the fact that we would get this tree up without a disaster was probably not a good idea. We pulled out the lights and began checking them. The first string tested and I handed it over to my daughter to begin placing it on the tree as I checked the next string. Wouldn't light. Not one single bulb. I checked the next string. Not one single twinkle. Well, this isn't a big deal, it's either a bulb gone bad or needs fuses. I started with the easy part and changed the fuses. No go! I stared at the 100 lights that refused to light. Grinned, stuffed them into a bag and out to the trash, then headed to the Hardware store for new lights. I'm NOT checking all those bulbs. I'm no Griswold and I don't need a traditional Griswold family Christmas Leave that to the neighbors. Soon I was back and we were in business. Up went the lights, then the ornaments. The tree was gorgeous and we were totally proud. So not such a disaster, just a minor setback. Hopefully, the entire season will go by as smoothly.

This Saturday we do the Christmas bake like a crazy person thing. Cookies to die for, fudge that melts in your mouth, made by my daughter. Then we box it up and mail to family in friends. We are happily packing up a heart attack/stroke in a box and mailing them off to people we love. Isn't that crazy?

We still have got to tackle Its A Wonderful Life because if you ignore Christmas or celebrate it full throttle you should watch this movie. Heck you should watch this movie even if you don't buy into the whole Christmas saga. It is a great film.

Our Christmas season is coming along quite nicely so far. The weatherman has been generous and with only one real snowstorm this year we aren't yet buried alive.

So cheers to you! May this be a very special time filled with joy, friends and family no matter what you acknowledge or what you find to celebrate.

Morning Snow

2004-12-03T09:04:00.000-08:00

We had a light dusting of snow yesterday which left the ground barely covered but softly white. I had paid no attention to the weather forecast for the night and when I faced my kitchen sink this morning I noted a nice sheen of ice in the corner of the window. Good sign. I'll have a windshield to scrape this morning.

I headed out the door a few minutes before time to leave for work to rev up the motor on my car and let the defroster do most of the scraping dirty work. I stood on my back steps and stared with my mouth hanging open. This was not about frost on the windshield this was about 3 inches of snow covering the entire car. How'd that happen, anyway? Well that was that. I grabbed a broom and began the process of removing the snow from the car. It was beautiful and I got a tad bit carried away and also cleaned off my daughter's car for good measure. Yeah, that probably won't happen again.

I came back in while the motor ran a few more minutes and tried to figure out why I was surprised by the snow covered vehicles. After all we do live in Michigan and this is December. It's not like that's not what it does up here this time of year.

Yeah, it bloody well snows up here in the winter. I should have moved to a warmer place years ago. But, truth is, I rather like the winters even as I dread them, complain and even step it up a notch to just plain bitchin'.

Our lady winter usually creeps up in with early warnings so we get a chance to prepare ourselves for the harshness she holds in her hands. Days start getting shorter and colder all at the same time. By the time the first snow drops a bit of blanketing on the earth you have begun wearing heavier clothing and had to scrape your windshield every morning for a couple weeks.

There was none of that this year. Thanksgiving eve we got hit by severe storm warnings and those warnings turned out not to be unfounded. Things were shutting down with tons of snow falling everywhere. Luckily I found someone on Thanksgiving morning to shovel us out. I had been running around with only a sweater and now I needed to head for the "other" closet and grab my winter coat. Then there was finding the gloves I hadn't worn since last year. I hate the entire bundling up process, so it was no wonder that as soon as the snow melted I returned to my light warmer weather attire.

The heavy Thanksgiving snow departed in 40 degree temps and things were feeling rather nice to me again, but now we're getting the "better watch out, winter's here" weather. So, yeah, I shouldn't have been surprised about the snow covered cars. Afterall, it is December, this is Michigan, and snow is what happens here. I guess I'll just have to adjust quickly to the cold. Better get that heavy coat into the cleaners and quit acting like it's going to be a mild winter. I don't think it is going to be one.

The Trees Have Gone Naked

2004-11-18T07:29:00.000-08:00

The Trees Have Gone Naked.

Tremendous winds quickly disrobed the trees of their final bits of cloth this fall. The leaves, snatched from the line where they hung, wafted high on the breeze, circling around, dancing in one final frenzy, then added their gay splendor to the golden carpet now stretching across my back yard.

I have complained about this fall. We had beautiful color gracing all the trees but the rain snatched away the iridescent glory that makes the red and golden leaves seem to shine from some inner light. They still were beautiful against a background of gray gloom waiting to dump showers on our head. It wasn’t that it actually stormed for most of the fall, but a solemn gray breathed into the atmosphere and mist clung to the windshield and hung heavy in the air.

I have always wanted the share the beauty that is Michigan in the fall with the entire world. Undaunted by rain, determined to do so, I headed out fearful the rain would quickly undress the trees. Somehow enough of the leaves tenaciously clung to their perches and the color remained until it finally peaked. I snapped some pictures in the gray and seemed satisfied. Then the sun came out a week later and I had it all to do over. I had watched the rain wash the skies in confetti showers. Then grace our lawn with the droppings of colored dew. But there was enough leaves remaining on the trees to still make me gasp.

So here is my color tour. There was too much beauty to pick. So I have published an album of fall color on my web site. Here is the link to the album's first page.

I am saddened that I was unable to capture so much of our fall beauty. The moment had passed for some of the harvesting pictures. But there is always next year. I hope you agree with me. Michigan is awesome. I know our color is not unique, but I don’t think other places are able to surpass what we get to enjoy just by staring out our front window or driving up the street.

Election Frenzy... the fun never stops!

2004-11-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

After having done it once, I am convinced that every American citizen should be an election official at least once to retain the right to vote. I have a feeling it would end a lot of griping about the system and how it works.

In our small community the age of the average election official is 70 years old. Can you imagine that? This past year 6 officials in our community “quit” for the final time. One of them was my mom who turned 90 in August. She felt she was justified when she resigned, or as she put it, “I’m not as young as I used to be, and I just can’t stay up and work like I did in the past.” My daughter has worked as an election official and since I am a little bit retired, I figured it was my turn to carry on the family tradition. So I signed on to do my duty. Hey this job pays $7/an hour and it’s not like you have to do it every day.

I had to declare my political party affiliation when I registered. I told them I considered myself a true blue independent and voted by issues not by affiliation. Perhaps I could declare myself a member of the Green party. Well that just is not allowed. I had two choices, Republican or Democrat. I thought I leaned more in the direction of the Democrats so I said, “OK, I’m a Democrat.”

The closer the election came the hotter the looming election became. They expected record turn-outs with party challengers and attorneys present at each polling place. This would be a first here in Albion. Those connected with the election were getting a bit nervous about the upcoming event. Me! What me worry? I’m a first timer. I’ll show up and pass out applications to vote. Easy money, baby! Good for me. And for this I will get paid, see a lot of people I know, and I expect, overall I am going to have a good time. Well, there is that bit about being there at 6:30 in the morning and having to stay until the last vote is counted and everything balances perfectly. Worst scenario, I’ll be home by midnight! I can handle that.

So, I’m up and at em on Tuesday morning. My lunch is packed to last all day. I have filled a small cooler with diet coke. I have snacks and cookies, sandwiches and plenty of water. I park in a very dark lot, and by cracky I am the first to arrive. I look though my essentials and take a bottle of water and some crackers in with me. Soon everyone was there and we were busy getting situated for the first voters. I didn’t get my easy job. A precinct is usually staffed with 6 people. We had 4.

The official call to vote is to be announced promptly at 7am. A loud cry is raised outside the official polling place “Hear ye! Hear ye! The polls are now open!” (isn’t that so cool!) The doors are thrown open. It is raining. The voters have started lining up before the joyous cry is sounded. We launch the election in our precinct promptly at 7am and our first voter walks through the line. We are in great spirits.

The lines are crowded. By 10am I have writer’s cramps and I’ve only been doing this for 3 hours. I have 10 more hours to go. I’m thinking this isn’t much fun, actually. I need a bathroom break. I need another bottle of water. There are challengers standing right behind me watching everything I do. There is an attorney assigned by the Democratic Party strolling about making sure everything is done properly. Now that sounds a bit stressful. But I am so busy I am completely unaware of being watched. The challengers turn out to be neighbors of my mom’s that are 2 of the neatest people on the earth. The attorney is a very perky, bright, young woman who not only helps us when hard questions arise, she gives me water when my bottle goes empty and my extras are in the car. When I get a few voters ahead I make a mad dash for the bathroom. Thankfully, it is not occupied and I am back at my post before anyone has started yelling.

Lunch time comes and goes and there is not time to run out to the car for all that nourishment. Finally around 2pm we get a breather and we take turns eating our lunches. I’m smart enough to bring a pop and extra water back inside with me. It is my last break of the day except for the stolen bathroom dashes.

There were several times in the day when I swore I would never do this again. There are moments in the day when I laughed with the sheer joy of the moment. It is an experience I will always treasure. The greatest impact was made on me by those who truly made sacrifices to be there. They wanted to vote. There were several voters that came in wheelchairs, or dragging their oxygen tanks with them. One young woman was so ill she had to lean on someone to just be there. I saw them come on crutches, leaning on canes. We would find chairs for them to sit while they waited their turn for a booth. I was impacted by these people who really understood that voting is a privilege that some have died for us to have. I made it through the day but as I tried to tell my daughter how these voters have touched me I found tears rolling down my cheeks. They are rolling now. I will never again miss an opportunity to vote. I will never again take that privilege lightly.

I smiled at the AfricanAmerican voters wearing their “Vote or Die” shirts through the line. I celebrated with first time voters and encouraged them on starting this tradition. One older gentleman said to me, “I hate to admit it, but I’m a bit nervous. You see I’ve never voted before.” He made me smile. He took his duty seriously. He had an opinion and he would voice that opinion through his vote.

The day wound down, finally. The lines began to thin out after 7pm and by 8 when we closed the doors all our voters had been through the lines. We had expected a last minute rush. We began the final process. We would need to open all the absentee ballots and they would have to be fed through a scanner. We had carefully checked our numbers. We were balanced and feeling good. Everyone was optimistic that we would actually get out at a reasonable time.

Then the fun for me really began. In our polling place, two different precincts (There are 6 precincts here and 3 polling places) were voting. Absentee ballots must be opened and witnessed by a member of the Republican and the Democratic Parties. It seems that the only Democrat official in the other precinct had gone home ill in the afternoon. They would have to have a Democrat present before they could open ballots. The local Clerk was called. She took a survey of everyone in the building and one of our officials was a Democrat. And then of course, there was me. There was no denying it. I had signed up as a Democrat and they shuffled me off to the other team. I’d like to say I was gracious about this, but actually, I wasn’t. I had bonded with my fellow team members during the day and I was grouchy, tired and hungry by this point. I didn’t want to be shuffled off someplace else. But off I went across the room. They were about as glad to see me as I was to be a part of their team. They had a routine established. All they expected me to do was “observe” them opening the ballots. Well they had a BUNCH of ballots. (this precinct was larger than the one where I had been working and they had 3 times as many ballots to open). They were going to be doing this a very long time. Yes they were and I would be a privileged witness of how they did it.

I attempted to find a place inside the group to contribute more than my woeful eyes but was rebuffed when I offered to help. I finally pulled my cell phone out and called my daughter to bring me the book I was now reading. She did. I managed to sit myself up in a good position and observe the opening of the ballots with one eye and read my book with the other.

The team across the way completed their duties. All balanced, they loaded up in their vehicles and headed for City Hall. It was 11:30. They were through. My new group was still opening absentee ballots. Not that I was bitter, mind you!

I waited til the midnight hour. It passed and the tension seemed to ease a little. Maybe they realized I was just a tad bit goofy. Soon I had a place at the table and was fitting into the tasks. We all pitched in and the votes were counted, all “write-ins” were tabulated, all totals were balanced. I had signed my name what seemed like 3000 times stating that the Democrats were totally happy with the way things had been done. It was 1:30. We were through. The last step was being checked in at City Hall with an “all clear” given by the Clerk.

I ran for my car, eager to be home and curled up in the fetal position and fast asleep. I stared in dismay. My car was covered with a thin candy shell of ice. I revved up the motor and began looking for an ice scrapper. None was to be found. There was nothing for it but to just wait for a bit until the windshield cleared off enough so I could drive. It seemed like this took hours. Maybe it did. No! If it had, I’d have fallen asleep in the car.

There were still officials at City Hall waiting for results when we stumbled in. We were not the last precinct to finish up. There was one more out there still trying to finalize their figures. The clerk would be with us in a minute. I stopped to ask the local reporter how Kerry was doing. I couldn’t believe he wasn’t winning. But, there’s still hope she whispered to me, “Ohio may turn the tide for us.” About 45 minutes later we were done and being sent home. My first stop was my computer to see how things were going. When I read that it didn’t look like there was any hope that Kerry would take Ohio, I trundled off to bed, too tired to feel discouraged. Wednesday morning news - not much better. It was definite. George Bush had won the election. Newscasters predicted that Senator Kerry would concede the election before the day was out.

Early afternoon the Clerk called, they had made a mistake and needed me back down to City Hall. She said this was it. The county had verified our figures. It was really over. I was excited for the opportunity to be an election official. Heck, I will probably do it again the next time election time rolls around. I was just glad that this election was over.

Little did I know that my Democratic status would once again put me in demand. Here it is Thursday… 2 days later and my phone rings again. I am needed at the county seat. An absentee ballot that should have been mailed to Albion had been mismailed. Can you believe that the only one that was misplaced had to belong to the precinct where I had to sign off as a representative of the Democratic Party. So, off I went again today, thinking, “My the fun just never ends”!. But, actually, I think it has. I think for this election and our election the fat lady has finally sung. I gladly have taken the vocal here and am proud to have finished it off. I’m tired all over again.

But, it was a good experience. I think everyone should be an election official at least one time. I think they should make us work there just like they sign us up for Jury Duty. It is a very important part of the electoral process. It keeps it honest. People really need to know exactly how this process works.

2004-10-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

It seems I always get just a bit antagonistic this time of year. I start ranting at the arrival of cold weather, short days, and the need to scrape frost/ice/snow off my car in the mornings before I can go anywhere. And on top of that, it also means, I have to start bundling up so I won't freeze once outside my cozy house.

I had begun checking the view of my windshield every morning, just in case I needed to get out and kick start the car to avoid the above mentioned scraping. There was no creeping up on the first frost this year. Usually you have a day when you walk out the door and find your breath hanging in a little puffy cloud right in front of your nose. That didn't happen this year, I peeked out the window and there sat my car, covered in a thin candy shell of ice.

As the cold air sets in chilling my bones, so also sets in the night. Here we luxuriate all summer in long idle days and evenings that stretch until 10pm. Now the days are quickly shortening up. It is dark a little after 7 and no longer am I blinded by the rising sun on my way to work... it is just getting to the graying up a bit phase. Of course, when daylight savings time ends we get a small reprieve but it only seems like about a week and it is dark in the evenings. We have a time during the middle of winter when I go to work in the gray of dawn at 8am and come home in the dark at 5. Wait! just a minute.... i don't work until 5 this year. I don't care. I'm going to rant anyway.

My sister has begun planning their departure for Florida with great encouragment for us to join them where it's warm all winter. But if I went, what would I complain about, balmy air, soft breezes, oceansurf, rain showers instead of blizzards... I don't know if I can adjust to complaining about those things. Maybe I should just stay here.

Besides, with all my bitching, there is that wonderful day when you peek out the window and the world has turned into a crystaline wonderland of snowy beauty. I hate snow... but I love it. I love ice crystals dangling from my eaves, I love curling up under quilts with a good book, snuggling down to watch a familiar movie with my cocoa steaming between my hands. Where else but here. I guess I need to just suck it up, admit I'd hate to live anywhere there is no change of seasons; the wonder of fall, the dread cold of winter, the hope of spring and the radiance of summer. Yeah, here is a good place to just be.

funnin' up the chaufferin'

2004-10-04T16:22:00.000-07:00

So, what happened is... one day my mom's car came to a time when it was beyond repair. She had it towed to the garage and the mechanic recommended that they shoot it and put it out of its misery. Good plan, I think. Mom at 90 only used the car to drive the few blocks to the store a couple times a week, go to the bank, church... just a little bit of here and there. When she needed to drive out of town, my sister or I took her. Mom drivin' on the highway, not a good idea.

She had been wonderin' when she should just quit driving altogether. She thought maybe when her drivers license expired that would be a good time to just hang up her car keys. Well, it looked like the time had finally arrived. I began driving mom about and trying to see that she had the things she needed... and making routine trips to the grocery store and over to K-Mart... fun places like that. You know!

But Mom just didn't like the inconvenience. If she wanted to go to the store she had to wait for someone to take her. So she began thinking about buying another car. We began car shopping. Wheeeee! Now Mom put about 20 miles a week on her vehicle... so as you can see, she needed something that could handle all that drivin'. We asked around for cars but didn't want her to get stuck with a lemon.

My brother Royce told her she should just quit looking and get a new car. That way "you won't be paying for someone else's problems." So, Mom decided she'd take his advice and last week she bought herself a brand spankin' new 2005 Ford Focus. Uh-huh! That's right!

Is that not the coolest 90 year old lady you've ever seen sportin' a brand new car?

The first time Mom took the car out for a spin, She asked me to follow her... old habits die hard. She was a bit afraid that when she backed the new car out of her garage the automatic door was going to close right in the middle of it. I backed out in the street and watched to make sure she didn't get impaled in her new car under the garage door. After she got the car out into the street, after a bit of struggling here and there... I could see she was trying to find stuff, she finally got the car turned around and headed up the street... right up the wrong side of the street that is. But adjusted things and soon was driving as she always did, right down the middle of the street. She arrived at my house with no serious accidents happening to her. She climbed out of her car and looked at me and said "I have to adjust these mirrors. I can't see where I'm at when I'm driving!" Well, yeah... OK... I understand. I think. We got the mirrors adjusted and she was feeling pretty confident, so she drove back home without me following her.

Well come Friday, I took Mom to town, only this time we drove her car instead of mine. Yeah, I got a bit aggravated trying to get the mirrors and seat adjusted just right, but soon I got myself fit in behind the wheel... and off we went. Now, when Mom needs to go anyplace we driver her car! It puts a happy spin on chaufferin'. I'll have to find more places for her to go. Today, Mom realized she had put over 100 miles on the car. (Actually she notes the mileage every time we go about a block... I don't know how long that will last.) I told her we needed to celebrate. Looks like we're getting that new car broken in just fine.

wonderfully splendifferous

2004-10-01T05:58:00.000-07:00

It was a tradition. Saturday mornings - pancakes for breakfast. And if I do say so myself, I make a mighty fine pancake. But life dealt me a joker in the genes department and as I matured I learned I had low blood sugar.

I could still have pancakes for breakfast, and did. But never topped with scrumptiously delicious maple syrup dribbling down the sides. I had learned from my father to poke holes into the pancake so that as the syrup cascaded over and downwards it soaked into the soft texture making a buttery gooey delight that was beyond description. hmmmm.... pancakes soaking up all that maple syrup goodness.

Yeah, well! no more, baby. When I made pancakes I put cinnamon and artificial sweetner into the batter before cooking up the last couple then sandwiched an over easy egg in the middle (mmmm protein). Somehow it wasn't the same and pancakes lost their allure for me.

It is hard to define the flavor one gets when eating sugar free items. There's all kinds of goodies in the diabetic section of the grocery store. There's candy, ice cream, cookies... a whole half an isle... man that's a lot of crap. And the taste. Let me tell you what it tastes like... oh yeah, it tastes exactly like what it is a lot of crap. I did adjust to it... I now prefer diet coke to the original, i really like naturally sweet apple pie... with completely no sugar. But pouring that sugar free stuff into pancakes and telling yourself it tastes good... is feeding yourself a lie.

But then! whoooeeeeee!!! Splenda! Not to get all commercialized on you... but Splenda is actually sugar free sugar. Yeah, that makes no sense. But it's true. Isn't that just wonderfully splendafferous! Why YES it is!

Then I found the neatest thing. Sugar Free syrup made with Splenda! Wow! With a great deal of apprehension I bought that stuff then gave it a test run. The first time I used it very sparingly. I knew I was going to get sick. This was just too good to be true. But I did not get sick. I did not hate the taste. It was quite yummy in fact. So the next time, I poured on a little more. whoooppppeeee! I actually can drown my pancakes in syrup, punch holes in them and let all that syrupy goodness turn into a most delectable goo!

I shall forever love the creators of Splenda! Hmmmm Good.

Now, I wonder if they can make wine that doesn't make me high after two swallows...

Where's the love, man?

2004-09-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

My mom had mild surgery last week and I had to do some serious mom sitting... no big deal... just really glad she got a good report and every thing was ok. But she had scheduled a garage sale for this week, I mean, the ad had already been published in the paper and she could not get every thing ready nor could she run the sale by herself. So my sister and I took turns Mom-sitting, getting ready for the sale, and helping out at the sale this week.

With all this fantastic fun on my horizon, I was really looking forward to this week. Well, actually I was looking forward to the end of this week. Because, obviously the week needed something to spice it up a bit, make things a little more up-beat. Me... I came up with the perfect solution. I got sick. Not just any sick, mind you, but "I think I'm dying because of my allergies... no maybe it's a cold, ... wait, it's settled in my chest it must be bronchitis... No, No, it's progressed to pneumonia" kind of sick. Thank goodness my sister was able to help finish up the garage sale preparations while I coughed and moaned.

Well the fun picked up on Wednesday when I had to begin my work week. I actually was feeling better but the kid decided she'd like a bit of what I was having and by now she was starting to look a little beyond help, although she did manage to drag herself off to work too. We have both been wishing we had at least been in a train wreck to justify our constant groaning due to the impending arrival at our door of the death angel.

I have managed to do my tour of duty on the job, help some with the sale preparations and I even got to sit in my mom's garage, sweat, and watch time crawl bye very slowly. But today is the last day of the work week, the last day of the sale... and it will soon all be history. Now that it is finally winding down, I am pleased to see that I have survived it quite successfully. I'm just looking forward to the weekend so I can sweep the floors and do some laundry. wheeee!

But despite all this up-beat chatter, actually, I'm a bit stuck in miry pit of gloom and despair. You see, today is my birthday! And, honestly, the way this week has gone, even I had forgotten it. I was reminded when the kid rasped out a phlegmy "happy birthday" this morning as we were trying to get ourselves motivated and out the door to work. So now, here I sit, all wrapped up in wondering why my birthday has to be so crappy. Yep, that's me, sitting here in the middle of this fantastic party, fantastic pity party, that is. Absolutely, all by myself. Completely ignored by the entire world at large. Do you feel my pain? Do you? Do You? Maybe just a tiny bit?

It's almost noon and I haven't received one silly ecard wishing me a happy birthday today. That's right, not one. What's wrong, people? Can you explain this! I have not received one single phone call to say "happy birthday, Anne". That’s right, not one. I mean really, not one.

And here at work... since i sort of retired last year... and only work a bit, they must have removed me from the employee roster... because I have not gotten a single crappy "howdy, happy birthday" from even one of my co-workers. In the past, someone would bring cookies or a cake to share during break time... but not today! No, not today. What is going on here, folks? Have I passed into the twilight zone? Can anyone see me? Do you even know I'm here?

Now all this bitching seems just a tad bit out-of-place coming from me... I really don't like people making a fuss over me... but today I have come to realize that I do like to get the token attention everyone gets... I really do! I do... I really do!

So I ask you...

Where's the love, man, where's the love? It's my birthday for cripes sakes. Bring on the birthday cheer! I need a Happy Birthday up in here! at least one. don't make me beg!

please

Thank You????

2004-09-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

Just because I hate them so much… And needed a good place to vent.

These “thank you” commercials make me crazy.

Just tell me, girls, if you were grocery shopping and another shopper came up, placed her hand on your tummy and said “oh, you’re having a boy!” and you in astonishment reply “I’m not pregnant”... she has the audacity to respond “Thank you.” Not "excuse me," or "i'm sorry," but "Thank you!"... WHAT?

Now tell the truth - Would you have waited for that particular “thank you” or would you have (before she had a chance to reply) decked the ho, upended her into her shopping cart then pushed her - cart and all into the meat locker and slammed the door on the bizzatch!

Or how about the gal out to dinner with her guy and asks “are we ever getting married?” and he hems and haws around a bit then answers “Thank you”. She gets all swooshey and says “you’ve never said that to me before.” WHAT?

How long has she been dating this go nowhere scumbag… and he has never on any occasion said “thank you”… and she’s all happy about it. I mean… what she should have done is toss her liquid beverage in his face and stomped out of the restaurant. I don’t know who’s the least likable character in that commercial; the sidestepping guy or the dumb girl.

Furthermore, you could ask me a hundred times what they were advertising in these ads… and I couldn’t tell you. I get too upset by the idiotic idea that you can get out of a bad situation by smiling and saying “thank you”… now I believe “thank yous” are important… but really, now!

and since i'm lamblasting commercials... do you pity the poor woman who opens an envelope from the bank and a desert island starts pouring in, completely destroying her home and leaves her kerplunk in the middle of nowhere... where her lawn is supposed to be ... a little grass, skads of strangers and my guess: no plumbling, not even the outdoor type. yeah, that's worth getting excited about! the lesson i get from this commercial... any envelope i get from that bank: DON'T OPEN! Ever!

For my Litkicks Pals and Other Friends

2004-09-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

The Bulletin Board

I have always loved post cards. Glossy photos can be picked up anywhere for a pittance and so whenever I go anywhere I always bring back a couple postcards of my trip.

My love for them increased when my daughter spent one semester in Venice and as she traveled around Europe she sent me a card from the beautiful places she visited. I proudly displayed them on my bulletin board at work.

As I began exploring the world wide web and making a few friends when the first asked what I would like from them I replied “send me a post card.” My first one arrived from Van Couver in Canada. I thought that was so cool that I shamelessly posted a request on one of the bulletin boards at LitKicks ( http://Litkicks.com a most awesome place to connect with friends from around the globe) and emailed my address to those who wanted to send me a postcard.

They soon began arriving. I had cards from Australia, New Mexico, Texas, New York, New Jersey, Michigan, Indiana, Michigan, Florida, New Orleans, Germany, Wales, England, Yemen and Virginia. I added these to my bulletin board and it quickly began filling up. I soon had too many and at one time one wall of my office was covered with the beautiful postcards I had received in the mail.

This wall made a tremendous impression on those who came to my office and a great way to share a little bit about myself, although I had to explain that these were not places I had traveled but represented the homes and travels of my friends from around the globe.

My work buddies soon wanted to get in on the fun and soon were also sending cards to me from their vacation spots. At one time I had centered a sign in midst of the postcards which read Litkicks Pals but because so many others began contributing I had to take it down. One gentleman whose business brings him into my office even sent me a card when he and his wife visited Denmark this last spring.

When I retired, I continued working a few hours a week, which meant I had to give up my office with the post card covered wall. The first thing I did to make my new work space really mine was to find a way to display my postcards. Unfortunately, they didn’t all fit but I found a way to expand my space and soon had them out for everyone to enjoy again.

Now I worry that continued exposure to light is causing the cards to lose their brightness and because they are so special to me I am going to take them down and put them in an album. But before I do, I just wanted to share them with you.

My Messy Work Area is made tolerable by the view.

Closer Views

So if you are ever out wandering about, feel free to drop me a postcard. I'd love to add it to my collection.

It was just a "so long"

2004-09-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

Wheh!

My mom celebrated her 90th birthday on Saturday. We kids had been looking forward to some family time while doing something special to let mom know how great we think she is.

Company began arriving last week. My niece Amy and her daughter Julie were going to be our guests for the weekend. I had been busy getting a place ready for them and was excited when they arrived. Julie is 2. She is a wonderful, terrible two. How were we to know that spending a weekend watching Winnie the Pooh, Blues Clues and singing with Barney could be so much fun? It was awesome.

In fact, the entire weekend was awesome. At one point we kids had to get a group picture taken. So there we were. Mom with my brother Royce, me, brother Jim and sister Phyllis… and even at our ages we couldn’t behave long enough to get a serious picture taken.

Worthy of note is that Mom always looks dignified and serene. I guess her ability to maintain her cool around such shenanigans explains how she managed to raise 5 kids and not lose her mind.

It did get a bit “touch and go” when my nephew Greg’s kids brought their dog, Gizmo, to the party. She was a hit right away, of course, she’s adorable. The touch part came when my daughter while holding the dog, turned her puppy dog eyes on me and said, “See how cute. I want a dog, Mom”. But I was tough and we haven’t made any arrangements to go out and get one of our own and the crisis soon passed.

We hung out a lot, ate way too much food. Told stories on each other, remembered the ‘good times’ hugged a lot of necks, but finally family slowly said their goodbyes and we watched them get into their cars and leave. Amy and Julie left on Sunday night. I walked back into my house with not even an echo of Barney reverberating through the rooms. The house was too quiet, too empty.

My brother James (Amy’s father) hung around a bit longer. It was great having extra time with him and I took full advantage ignoring things I probably should have been doing and enjoyed having him around. He came over with mom this morning for breakfast and we sat around the table talking about things, looking at pictures, but too soon he said “I’ve got to go”, reaching out for a goodbye hug.

I stood in the drive watching him walk away. He turned and said “I’ll be back before too long with Jimmie (his son). We want to get some things done for Mom.”

“When do you think you’ll be here?” I asked.

“Before the weather gets bad. Jimmie and I want to get some golf in while we’re here.”

This was one of those times I was glad some of my family members are golf nuts. It made saying this goodbye easier. After all, it won’t be long before I get to say another one.

Spiteful Discount

2004-09-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

Once I hit the age of 55 my sister and my mom began quizzing me every time we sat down after going through the service line at any fast food establishment whether or not I had gotten my "senior's discount". Yeah, like I was going to admit I was old enough for that. Anyway at age 55 I didn't look old enough to qualify and to me that was worth paying the regular price for my soft drink. Mom would then inform me how much cheeper her meal was than mine. Fine with me. This woman is, after all, 28 years older than I am.

Without fail, I had this conversation every time we ate some place. I figured that once the employee at the service counter could figure out I was old enough to qualify... then by cracky, I'd start fessin' up that I deserved the cheeper rate. So for years I paid full price and grinned while paying it. I had gotten bye them again. I was still fooling them about my age.

Then last Sunday my mom and I stopped after church for lunch. I thought my meal was a little less than I had calculated in my head it should be. When I got to my seat I pulled out my receipt. Oh, Crikey! They've found me out. That young whippersnapper had given me a senior's discount without my asking him. I sat stewing at the receipt as my mom pulled out her chair and sat down. "Did you get your discount?" she ceremoniously asked. "As a matter of fact, I did" I snarled back ungraciously.

When I got home I made a trip to the bathroom mirror to examine my features more closely. Who exactly had I thought I'd been fooling, anyway. I stared at my gray hair and the skin now a little looser under my chin. It's caught up with me and that's all there is to that. I sat down at my desk, wrote out a check and mailed in my membership to AARP. Let's face it, I have arrived. Whether I act like it or not, I am now officially a senior citizen.

Chauffeuring the Girls

2004-08-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

Who are the girls? That would be my 89 year old mother, Mary, and her best friend Lola. Mom and Lola have been friends for almost 70 years and they are two of the most awesome women I know. To have a friendship that has lasted that long in this day and age is, in itself, baffling and awe inspiring at the same time.

The girls talk on the phone (for hours) almost daily. They go to yard sales whenever they can. Usually Lola is the designated driver. Mom’s remarks about her driving makes me know she is the senior on the back roads driving 35 and getting cussed out by everyone piling up behind her. That’s OK… they eventually get to their destination.

However, Lola has been ill this summer. Driving has been a bit of a problem and they haven't been able to get around and enjoy all the things they usually do. So when they were both invited to the 50th wedding anniversary celebration of a couple, Ray and Elaine, who had “grown up” in the church they were eager to go. But how would they get to the anniversary; it was out of town? So I volunteered to go along and drive the girls to the party.

Mom was so excited about going she spent 2 weeks before the event making sure that everything was in place. That meant, she kept me on a tight leash with daily reminders to do the proper thing… like “get a really nice card since they had requested ‘no gifts’ and they were giving us a free dinner”… and keeping me aware that I had an appointment and I had better be “on time” because they did not want to be late. “They’re serving dinner right at 5 o’clock, you know.”

So the day arrived. I dressed up a little bit, got in my car for the 20 minute drive 45 minutes early (we were on time) and went to pick up Mom and then on down the road to pick up Lola. I plugged in a favorite cd, turned the music down so the girls could chatter away… and boy did they!

I have always been amazed that my mom remembers where everybody lived over her almost 90 years on this earth… but driving down the country roads to the next town was like having 2 tour guides along for the ride. The comments were nothing if not stimulating and varied not a bit in nature. They followed something like this…

“You know Clarence lived there until he moved to…”

“...and Charles lived right next door… there in that house”

“You remember Bert & Ethel, now this house coming up on the right… wait not that one… there it is… now... that one, that’s where they lived” as an aside… “You know it’s been so many years it’s hard to remember these houses; they’ve changed so much.” Well for my money they were remembering pretty dog-gone good.

We arrived at the party and were ushered in with hugs, kisses, and a lot of “I haven’t seen you in ages”, “how are you doing”, “how are the kids”, “where is ____ now” I stared around at a sea of faces that were familiarly strange and I tried to put names to them and finally gave up until they gave themselves away by some remark they would make. I stared at a lot of beautiful women who wore their years well but seemed a little oblivious since the frequent hair color seemed to be some strange tint of orange (you know that color one gets when trying to touch up the gray yourself instead of having it done professionally). I tripped into the bathroom for a quick check in the mirror to make sure I hadn’t caught the bug. Good! My hair was still gray and there was no hint of orange anywhere around my face.

It turned into one of the most fun nights I have had in years. I loved the girls, I loved watching them visit with old friends and get caught up in family stories, remembrances and just getting embraced by all those who really loved them. When the evening wound down and I was able to usher two tired ladies to the car we began our journey home. They chatted about their friends and the good old days.

I smiled when the evening was over and I pulled the car into the driveway at home. I thought to myself that the most beautiful women there had been my silver haired mom and her silver haired friend Lola… and of course the beautiful bride, Elaine, silver hair shining as much as her smile. But aside from the fun time of seeing old friends, the thing I was really, really glad about was that I don’t have orange hair.

launch day!

2004-08-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

well... i'm going to launch this thing. watch out world! here i come.

it still isn't perfect, but is anything?

there are still a couple things i want to add. check back with me and see how i'm doing.

for some reason there is a knot in my stomach, the kind you get just as you step in front an audience to do your public speaking thing. i hope this goes well, if not, please be patient with me. i'm still a novice.

anyway, thanks for stopping in.

taking a deep breath. ok... here goes!

anne

just to get things going

2004-08-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

so finally, i decided i was ready to get with the times and create a web site. well, hasn't this been fun? That is not a redundant question...and the answer is "NO!"

rather frustrating actually, but I figure i'll get the hang of it with a little practice. so i'm here typing this, and actually, i'm not sure if it will even show up on my site. experimentation... ah, yes! the things from which dreams are realized. or whatever!

well, if it works... i'll soon be adding to this. if it works, i'll soon get this dang thang launched. if it works!

it better work